We drove old cars and lived on a shoestring budget so I could stay home and raise my own. DD plans to do the same. She wants to start a family soon and staying home is her top priority even if it means holding off on a new house etc. She became an accountant as part of her plan to stay home when she had a family. It is something she can do part time at home at least until any kids she has are in school.

I'm now retired and so is DH. Our kids are grown, now 20 and 21. But back in the 1990's we paid for in-home daycare with a neighbor when they were younger, $100 a week for one kid, $150 a week for two. It was hard making ends meet in those days. I calculated that daycare cost us more than groceries, typically. we also tipped her a weeks pay at Christmas. Ouch!

My daughters pay $125.00 a kid. Son has twins and it is , yep, $250.00 a week. Seems to be the going rate around here. I was a stay-at-home mom, too. I babysat to bring in extra money. I feel bad for kids today.

Both families have ladies keep their kids in their homes. They pay on Monday each week. Greta ladies!! Nice being able to go to work and not worry about them. I help when they are sick or daycare lady needs off.

My daughter was paying $130 a week before my granddaughter was potty trained and $115 a week after for daycare. So we started keeping her here every other week, to help with the expense. The daycare has a really good preschool program but with her here every other week she was missing out on school time. So this school year we have her from Monday evening until Thursday evening so she can go to preschool full time.

$165/week for Dan in daycare. $59/week for before and after school care for Nick (usually 1 hour in the morning and 15 minutes in the afternoon). Summer camp will be around $120/week for Nick.

What would be 'too much'? Is there a point at which the daycare bill outweighs your salary and someone stays home to raise the kids? What does it cost to hire a live-in or live-out nanny? Is it about the money, or do you just not want to stay home with the kids? (Not preaching. That's an OK choice as long as the kids are still well cared for.)

Near the DC area, it's $250/kid a WEEK for a licensed HOME daycare.

For a Commercial daycare, it's more like $300/kid.

Which is why my saint of a mother-in-law watches Brody and will also watch new baby girl. We were going to put Brody in a commercial daycare for only 2 days a week--at $130 a week! We have since decided to put him in the local 2's class for 1.5 hours twice a week for only $88 a month.

There is no way I can stay home and watch the kids, and there is no way I can put them in daycare full time. Therefore, I will owe my MIL from now till the ends of the earth!

Health insurance is the biggest issue with us. That was probably not an issue for moms a couple of decades ago. DH's job has it but it would cost most of his salary to cover the entire family. My job offers it reasonably (for me and the kids, DH still has to pay an arm for his at his job).

The daycare I use is onsite and it's fantastic.

I should have also asked if you think the kids benefit by being 'socialized' with other young children.

Our DGS started daycare (AKA pre-school) at 2 1/2.) He's an 'only'. Now, having just turned five, he's been with many of the same dozen kids for as long as he can remember. He'd be lonely at home -- and our DIL would go nuts if she couldn't be out of the house, teaching (8th Grade Math). DS was able to be home early on because he was working as a paramedic. The are all three blessed to have a wonderful retired teacher living next door who comes in as needed. Both grandmas have been 'stand by' sitters.

When my GD was born 2 years ago, it would have cost my kids approx. $1500/month for a 5 year old and newborn - their mom has stayed home instead. They're fortunate they were able to do that. I'm too far away to babysit on a daily basis

I know, my daughter pays a BIG bundle for Allisons day care. Guess, the bundle will grow, when baby number two arrives in September.

I stayed home, and we turned the pennies over a couple of times before we decided we could spend them.

It was tough on a policemen salary, but doable. I had a garden, and canned. We had chickens for eggs and meat. I sewed the girls dresses, and knitted their sweaters.

Everything counts.

but, I also loved being a stay at home mom. It was my job.

Moni

A lady I works with has both of her kids in Day Care and it costs her $1000.00 a month! We make the same amount so I know she only clears maybe $300...to me it wouldn't be enough to keep me away from my kids. Plus this last babysitter punished her 3 year old daughter by rubbing her little fingers in a jalapeno! They ended up taking her to the ER and because of complaints they closed this babysitter down. It was heart breaking!

Sandy, I thought Kalie was planning to stay home. Have their plans changed?

I delayed having my kids and stayed home with them. DD is in Los Angeles and stays home too. So I have no idea. Her friend in San Francisco pays $1500 a month per child.

I am another who chose to live with less, so that I could raise my boys. 12 years as a SAHM basically..I've been back to work about a year.

It's smart that she's weighing her options now. Usually under 1 year cost a bit more than over a year..and sometimes they give you a break on multiple kids...sometimes not.

I hope when my daughters marry and have kids they'll live nearby so I can take care of the grandchildren as much as possible. My own mother was 500 miles away, but my MIL 30 miles away told me straight out she was NOT a babysitter. I held it against her a long time, in fact I still do. Even a day or two a week would have helped a lot, and the kids would have been closer to her in a family way,I mean.

I have a friend who took care of a grandchild while the mom worked part-time. When the second GC was born she told them she didn't have the energy to watch a 2 year old and a baby so they put the 2 year old in daycare and she cared for the baby. JMHO, but I think it is unrealistic to just expect a grandma to care for 2 little ones while parents work full time. I just love to babysit babies but toddlers wear me out.

I stay at home with my 2, but there are definitely days I'd like to ship them off somewhere!!

Here it runs about $250-300 a week for a toddler. Newborns are more. Siblings only rate 10% discount. And I think you need to send enough diapers for 1 change per hour + accidents. I doubt my own kids went through 12+ diapers a day, as they got older, so that adds up too.

My old co-worker used to have a webcam set up at her DD's daycare. She had a special code or something, (not open to the general public) then she could watch the cam at work. She used to check-in on her DD during the day.

Boy am I glad that I am able to stay at home with our 4 little ones. We looked into daycare and it would have been paying 500 a month for me to work. Daycare was more than I would have earned. There are days I wish I was working outside the home but love staying at home and raising my own children.

Stacie

My niece pays $2000 a month for her 2-year old and 5-month old children. She lives in the Boston area. Makes me think we should all be getting into the day care business!!

It seems to me it would be much easier to stay home with the little ones rather than to have to get them up each morning, dressed, fed and out the door by 7 a.m. Plus get yourself ready, the diaper bag ready, kids in the car seats. It's mind boggling to have so many things to remember so early in the morning every single day.

God bless all mothers whether they stay home or have to work.

125.00 per child is the rate around here for in home care....the centers are alot more. I am saving my kids alot of money and so happy to have them with me! :O)

A few years ago, infant care at a stand-alone center north of Boston was $1,000/month, and toddler care was a bit less.

Chisue, I do think the socialization is good, especially for only children. My niece has been in daycare since she was two, and loved having other kids around. I used to feel sorry for her that she had to get up and leave her house every day, until I realized that this was normal for her and she looked forward to it.

It also depends on what the parent who would stay at home makes. It's a lot easier to decide that it makes monetary sense to stay home with your kids if you were making $30,000-$40,000 a year than if you were making $70,000-$80,000 or more. Plus, as another poster said, in lots of families, one person has the good health insurance, and that counts for a lot, too.

My friend's daughter pays about $1,000 per month; one child.

I think it's unreasonable to expect any grandparent to do child care unless they genuinely offer. Expect them to do it? I don't think so. Why in the world would anyone expect their MIL or Mother to babysit or take care of the child that that person chose to have? It's the word "expect" that is riling me. And to be upset with someone because they told you they will not do so is, in my opinion, poor. Why would someone feel so entitled that they expect someone who has already raised their own children to care for someone else's?

Anyway - back to the topic at hand. I think that the kids and the parents being out of the house for at least a bit is beneficial all around. For those that choose to stay home and can do so, wonderful! For the others, wonderful, too! My choice would've been to work part time.

Suzieque

Do any of you know SAH-Dads? Our DS was pretty much that until DGS started pre-school/daycare at 2 1/2. He LOVED taking care of DGS days and working part-time as a paramedic. DIL has two months off in summer and she is home from her teaching job by 3 p.m. during the school year.

They were both very hands-on with DGS when I think it counts most: As Baby develops trust and as Two-to-Three develops autonomy. Now, at five, DGS is well on the way to achieving initiative and purpose. He's loving and caring of his family and his friends at school. Meltdowns sometimes? Oh, yes. But most of the time he's a 'rock', calm, and curious about the world.

Both boys were born while DH was in medical school. He had no income. I worked to pay our family and school bills, as well as to get health insurance.

DH makes an okay salary now, but we decided it would be a large adjustment for our family to try to live on that alone. Additionally, the health insurance isn't as good.

Plus, I enjoy my job. I enjoy working with other adults and solving difficult problems. I am very much a thinker, and I'm afraid that if I stayed home, I might go crazy. I love my kids, but I'd have to find a way to keep myself occupied. The tradeoff is obviously, I don't spend the day with my kids. I hate that. Luckily, our daycare is fantastic, and I have not once worried about the care my kids are getting.

In a different life, I would like to have tried staying home. I have ideas of what I would have done with and for the boys. But, we do what we can. I got a very, very good job out of college, and am still with the same company. It's too hard to pass up.

I pay $1800/month for both boys. They spend one day a week with our parents, as requested by both our parents before they were born. I think one day a week is plenty for them. It wears our parents out.

GD is lucky....her mother works at a private school which takes children from 2 months up to 3rd grade. Since she's an administrator - tuition is not a problem and mommy is free to look in on her.

When we had our kids DH was in the military and i was a SAHM until we transferred to Ca.I went to work for the first time in my married life when DD who was the youngest was 2 1/2.BUT i worked nights as dh didn't have a choice in the marines and had to work days.I was able to take care of the kids and house,make dinner all before i went to work.I had a baby sitter that came to the house for 2 1/2 hours a day and stayed with the kids til dh got home.
When he got home all he had to do was get their food on the table,(warm it up if necessary),make sure they ate,had their baths and were in bed by 8:00.

At times when he went overseas,i would quit my job and stay home while he was gone,and i babysat for others.
Like Moni i also made all my kids and my clothes,yes even for the 3 boys,cooked from scratch,mowed my own lawn til my boys got old enough to do it at 10 years of age.

I never paid more than 20.00 a week,then again at first i only made 1.00 an hour.As the kids got older i continued on the night shift and dh on days.Worked for us.We were never and still aren't ones to keep up with the jonese's.

Today i don't know how people do it,seems they pay so much for day care,i don't know how they come out ahead of the game,especially when you factor in the transportation,wear and tear on the car,clothes for work and baby sitting.and most are too tired to cook when they get home so eat fast food!!!
Kathi

I worked until my oldest was 2 1/2 and the second child was 7 months. I was making more money than Dh at that time and there was no way we could have afforded to live on his salary. We had to move to another state where dh could make a better salary before we could afford for me to stay home. We're lucky that now that the kids are in school that I can be here for them before and after school.

Whatever someones reasons- financial or personal, I wouldn't knock them for not being a SAHM. I'm seen some SAHM's that really aren't doing their kids any favors by being home with them. Some of these dads could be helping out around the house and with the kids more too.

My brother and sil when their two sons were little and in daycare, at first it was subsided and then that was taken away and they ended up having to pay $1000.00 each month, $500 for each child.
Then they paid after school care at same daycare until oldest son was 12 and then he was too old.

Yes, daycare is very expensive and also very hard to find these days.

Many go to put their child's name down only to find that it will take many years to get them in.

Many of them either the mom has to stay home or the dad or they move close to relatives like grandparents that can care for them while they both work.

Its very hard on parents these days.

Plus in getting good childcare for their kids and safe care.