I guess the the thing I do for myself, after thinking long and hard and reading this thread, and not sure how to answer...is living my life on my own terms. I quit a corporate job after they gave me grief for caring for my terminally ill mother. After that I bought a Fetch! Pet Care franchise (not a commercial!) and use my time to care for animals. I don't make a fortune, but that's okay. I love my job....which I really don't even consider a 'job'. I enjoy buying books and reading, both novels and homesteading type books. I really enjoy starting my plants from seed for the garden, mostly heirloom tomatoes and peppers. Growing things is such a nice thing...it just makes me realize how great it is to watch things grow from seed and eat your results! Nothing better. Because I am self-employed I also enjoy spending time with my dad. I can go over to his place in the early afternoon and watch a movie or right now we are into the early season of season 4 of The Shield. I bought him the 7 series set for Christmas. I suppose I do those things for myself because after my mom passed away I realize time is precious and I only have so much time with him. When he is gone I can't do that and I want to make myself available as much as possible. So I guess the nice things I do for myself are living for me and my loved ones and spending time and enjoying our pursuits that bring happiness. Also, I enjoy travel magazines, car magazines and other 'fantasy' things that spark my imagination. I doubt I will ever live in Bora Bora or drive a Lamborghini, but is sure is fun to dream! Duane

I'm not sure *I* am turning out the way I had hoped! LOL. I only have one in that age group, and he's only 12. But I like him so far. I think I'll keep him. I want a growth chart for the emotional/personality stuff. We have check ups with docs and dentists, eye exams, even before we think something is wrong. Even teachers conferences and standardized tests to tell us they are learning the academics they should be learning, or if intervention is needed. So I think it would be very helpful to have check ups with a counselor of some sort. Not therapy exactly, just a set of questions, a test of sorts, to say yep, they are on the right track. To know that self confidence, responsibility, ambition, compassion... those sorts of qualities... are developing normally. It is so important to how kids turn out, but how do I know for sure it's happening along the way at the rate it should be?? I want that sort of check up. I'd rather their personality be straighened out that their teeth. But it's easier to find out their teeth are crooked. It's hard to be objective about the emotional stuff, so I need a chart. I'm only half joking. If there is a chart, I seriously want it!

When my husband and I were newly engaged in 2000, I was going to college and he was building our home on a nice chunk of 26 wooded acres. It was mid February and it had just started to sleet. Hubby noticed a small black puppy on the edge of the woods - Not Even Wet Yet - this poor boy had been newly dropped to freeze to death (or be eaten)! Hubby got out of his truck and had to chase the scared little puppy through the woods! Sam was the first one to live in our house. Hubby would see him every day while he worked on finishing the house and tuck him in at night. We almost lost him when he ate fiberglass insulation... he was even on an IV for a day. Sam had a long hard trip until he felt safe in our family. He is Extremely "Soft" and we suspect abuse or mental issues. One harsh word and he would shake in the corner for the rest of the day. Luckily we got some great advice online on how to train a "soft" dog! I wish I had the link to share... We know that we are truly blessed to have him in our family and will sadly miss him when he is gone. He seems wiser than his 8 years and to tell you the truth we weren't sure he would make it through year 1! From Sammy, Gizmo and Gidget Only a year after Sam joined us another juvenile stray showed up on our street. This time is was a black kitten... and strangely enough both Sam and the kitten were completely black except for a white spot on their chests! It was ment to be and Jasmine was added to our family. She was a tiny little think and would ride on my shoulders everywhere. She always wanted to cuddle and was my Very First Kitty (my dad is allergic... and I think I am too!). Sadly, in spring 2006 she never came home. I couldn't handle the emptiness without her so chose to fill it with a pair of sibling kittens that were looking for a home before being sent to the pound. Now we have two Very Large Cats - Gidget 16lbs and Gizmo 13lbs. From Sammy, Gizmo and Gidget I keep hoping that another stray will show up on our road... because even though Hubby won't let me actively seek out another addition to our animal family, he would never be able to turn away a stray that had no where else to go. I know my story has been long so far but there is just a little bit more! Hubby also found a pair of puppies along side the road a couple years ago. He saw them on his way to work, on his way home for lunch, on his way back to work and finally picked them up on his way home for the night! The black lab puppy is named Dinky (and of course grew to be huge!) and she lives with my Father-in -Law, and the yellow lab is named Ginger and she lives with my parents!!!! This way very fun to share! And every chance I get, I encourage ppl to adopt from the shelter and not the breeders..... Thanks - Miranda

Sylvia is so right. My father passed away about three years ago, and one of the many good deeds he did during his lifetime was to organize his financial affairs prior to his death. It made things so much easier for the survivors and is an act we remember with deep gratitude. One thing in particular was helpful, and that was going through his old papers and throwing out papers that looked like they might be important but actually weren't --accounts that had been closed, life insurance policies that were no longer in effect, so many odds and ends. But today - much to my own relief - I spent the afternoon in a lawyer's office doing exactly that -- for my husband and me and for my mother who has terminal cancer. I will be the executor of her estate, and we went over many different possibilities with the attorney. What would happen if: - her mother (my 100+ y.o. grandmother) goes first, in which case my mother would inherit (though probably not receive due to timing issues) a substantial amount; - my brother, sister or I go first (parent's share put into trust for grandchildren); - if the default secondary beneficiaries on one or more of her accounts are something different than what she wants (I will have POA to change beneficiaries, with fiduciary duty to siblings); - end of life issues - refusing or removing feeding tubes and hydration (copy of Medical POA to siblings so they see her written wishes). And after we wrapped up Mom's work, we started in on my husband's and my estate. Between us we have two adult kids (his), one soon-to-be-in-college (mine), and one young child with a disability (ours). We're also writing sweetheart wills with specific provisions for our individual children with the understanding that the bulk of our assets need to be available to the surviving spouse and our joint disabled child. Our state's default provisions could also force me to sell our home, which we can't let happen. It was actually a bit of a relief to have all the papers drawn up and signed -- though the point about if being very hard for men turned out to be very, very true. It was like pulling teeth to get Hubby to stipulate a cash amount that he wanted to leave his two children. At least my son's college fund is (and always has been) a separate account. Folks - take the time to get this done. You just never know...