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15 years ago

The free housing option I had since November is drying up. I need to be out around May 10.

Thus I went apartment hunting. How depressing all the low cost apartments were that I had lined up to look at. There is no way, I want to come home each day from work to such a building.

Then I get a phone call, while still out looking.... The daughter in law from the lady, that owns the house next door to my daughter. I had written to the old lady. She hadn't been seen in weeks, and we were worried about her, but also thought the move in with her son had occurred faster than anticipated.

The latter is what had happened. I had asked, if there was a chance, that the house would be sold. Yes, it will be sold, but earlier than when I have money to buy (shared house with soon to be ex husband needs to sell first)... besides, I can't buy till the divorce is final. Sooooo, I asked if they may rent it out first. She is talking to husband, husbands brother, and mother in law and will get back to me.

Later I visited a Chinese woman that works at the ice cream place with me. She is divorced, and we feel like we have a bond. Man oh man, I like where she lives. Pretty, peaceful looking... but, she had been broken in on Monday, TV and computer stolen. Argh!

Now I realize, I have to do a search for crime rate in the places I might rent.... and I don't know yet how. I wrote to the local Police, and asked. Will call there later to see what they can tell me.

Meanwhile, I got the job at Home Depot. Was even clocked in yesterday morning, while I was filling out paperwork there!!! Earlier in the morning I got a phone call from the other job, they wanted me to come in and help out, putting the new merchandise up that was delivered (they get a truck load every other day). I went in at 3, but was never told when I can get off. At 5:55 I begged to get off, due to a dinner engagement... and was able to leave. I do work there this morning, tomorrow evening, and then on Sunday.

Will also have training for the new job on Saturday, and start working there on Monday.

Live is sure interesting right now for me.

Moni

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Comments (27)

Pieonear
15 years ago
Wishing you the best and that everything falls into place for you.
gemini40
15 years ago
Moni I feel for you, not a pleasant situation to be in at the moment.The best outcome would be the lady agreeing to let you rent the house next door to our daughters.
Is the home shared with soon to be ex on the market yet? When you start at Home Depot will you give notice to the ice cream place or continue to work there as well. My word what a difference a year makes. You'll be fine once you get your living situation resolved.

June
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Posted by canarybird (My Page) on Wed, Jul 22, 09 at 14:41 FOOD PHOTO TIPS : Part 3 - Lighten or Darken Your Photos with EV Hi everyone! I'm back again with another chapter of hints on how to use your digital camera for taking tabletop photos. I hope everything so far has been easy to understand. But I'll be going over and repeating some things as well so they're not forgotten or misunderstood. For those who are unfamiliar with this very useful item, I want to introduce the EV function on your camera. EV stand for Exposure Value and the button or menu option is called the Exposure Compensation, or Exposure Bias. Here's the icon, which is a square with plus and minus signs inside. You may find this icon stamped on the arrow pad on the back of your camera as in Fig, 17. When that upper arrow is pressed, it produces a new icon in the top right corner of the LCD screen as in Fig. 18, where a black rectangle shows 0.0 and two blue right/left arrows. 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If I were happy with that, I would then press the OK button in the centre of the arrow pad and then press the shutter to take the picture. If I wanted the picture to be lighter still, I would press the arrow pad twice instead of once, which would give me +0.7. In the case where the overall picture was too bright and the subject was going to look lighter than I would like, then I'd press the left arrow and that would give me a minus value, darkening the photo Fig. 18b. You can get some very lovely effects with a -0.3 setting, especially outdoors where it is often so bright that your photos can look a little overexposed. I keep my cameras set at -0.3 for nearly all my outdoor photos. And my daughter was very pleased when I told her about that when she was getting used to a new camera. Her garden photos turned out so much better with the EV set to -0.3 on bright days. And some closeup flower photos can look quite dramatic at this setting. 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Fig. 27 is back at 0.0 and Fig. 28 to 30 are minus steps increasingly dark. Click on photos to enlarge. Sorry I see that the Fig. numbers are only visible when you click on the below photos to enlarge them. The first and the fifth are without an EV adjustment. You can read the EV value in the clicked enlargements. (I do love those dark ones!) I just went outside and took some examples with our clerodendrom which was still in partial sunlight. I started with the first example without using any Exposure Compensation and took samples at different minus values of EV. I didn't include them all here but with these five you can see the difference between no adjustment in the first and six steps in the minus scale to -2.0, which is a little too dark. However I do like the effect at -1.0 and -1.3. All photos on this page were taken using the PORTRAIT setting in the SCENE option. Remember that the icon for portrait is a girl's head. The indoor photos had a WHITE BALANCE setting of "cloudy". I hope you will be able to give some of these options a tryout. You can do a lot to correct lighting when using automatic settings by making an adjustment with the EV function. I have the next chapter ready but I think this is enough for one day. It is a fun one....how to use a paper sweep for seamless backgrounds. Really easy! Please ask if anything isn't clear. If I know the answer I'll be back with a reply. Until then, thanks for joining me. I'll be uploading the next instalment soon. And please feel free to save the pages on your computer. Sharon (Canarybird) (All text and photos copyrighted) Free for personal, non-commercial use Follow-Up Postings: o RE: Food Photo Tips: Part 3 - Lighten or Darken Photos with EV clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings * Posted by loves2cook4six (My Page) on Wed, Jul 22, 09 at 17:13 Sharon THANK YOU for these great tutorials. We are on vacation but I hope to do some experimenting with my camera's settings. I've been to scared to move off AUTO but you are inspiring me to take some "risks" lol o RE: Food Photo Tips: Part 3 - Lighten or Darken Photos with EV clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings * Posted by canarybird (My Page) on Thu, Jul 23, 09 at 5:34 You're welcome loves2cook and I hope you will also try new settings while taking some vacation photos as well. Have a good rest of your holiday! SharonCb o RE: Food Photo Tips: Part 3 - Lighten or Darken Photos with EV clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings * Posted by shaun (My Page) on Fri, Jul 24, 09 at 22:20 Thank you!!!!! o RE: Food Photo Tips: Part 3 - Lighten or Darken Photos with EV clip this post email this post what is this? see most clipped and recent clippings * Posted by momto4kids (My Page) on Wed, Jul 29, 09 at 10:21 Sharon, Just when I thought I'd have time to be a regular at CF again...my time gets zapped up so quickly. I wanted you to know I am thoroughly enjoying these posts! I am having a great time figuring out what you're saying with my own camera. My pictures have already improved remarkably. I've been begging (okay, whining) to take some classes and they just aren't to be found around here. Your tutorials are just what I need! Thank you for all your time! Deb
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alisande
15 years ago
You have a lot to think about--and a lot to do! We hear so many stories about the terrible job market......it's great that you've found employment quickly. And nice that HD put you on the clock while you were filling out forms. That's the way it should be. I spent two half-days filling out forms at my last job (universities are picky) without pay.

I'm glad you've made a new friend!
paula_pa
15 years ago
Well, you are very fortunate to be moving forward. Since my husband and I split up last February (LAST FEBRUARY!), we are still living together.
margad
15 years ago
I hope life gets easier for you Moni.
OklaMoni
Original Author
15 years ago
Oh, I didn't put all that in...

Last day selling ice cream is on Sunday, first day at HD is on Monday.

In between, aka, Saturday I will be at paid orientation from HD.

Doing rental research online right now.
Granlan_TX
15 years ago
Moni, I want to wish you all the best as you move forward. You are a strong woman and blessed with good health; I know these qualities will serve you well. :)

Hugs,

Lana
Marilyn Sue
15 years ago
Wishing you the very best Moni.

Sue
kacram
15 years ago
((((((Moni))))))
sue_va
15 years ago
Glad you got the HD job. They have good benefits. Do you know which department you will be in?

You do have a lot of decisions to make. I have only one suggestion as to living arrangements. Don't share with someone. You need your own place for a good while. Make friends slowly.

Sue
glenda_al
15 years ago
You are the best and things will get better, I'm sure!

Big hugs from me to you!
patti43
15 years ago
It will all work out, Moni. You've had a really topsy-turvy time lately, so I hope it gets better soon. ((Moni))
vala55
15 years ago
I hope everything works out for you. I was a landlord for over 20 years and I know what is out there. We had one duplex in a poor area. Even though I cleaned and painted it and paid an exterminator, I could not improve the area or the safety.

You might try older apartment complexes in a nicer part of town for studio apartments that are reasonable. I lived in one when I was younger and didn't mind it. I would prefer to be in a studio than a place like our duplex was. Also you might check with co workers or friends in the same type of situation and see if you can find a roommate to share expenses for a better place.
whidbeykathy
15 years ago
I am confused..after nearly 40 years of marriage, why is Jerry not having to support you ? We don't have alimony in our state, it's instead called separate maintenance and you can get it for several years.
You should not have to be worried about a roof over your head while you are working so hard to start a new life.
No fault divorce means no fault it's fairly simple. Also, you should be getting part of his pension as well as a cash settlement on the house. Please remember if any tax refund is coming your way, half is yours. That could sure help you get into a place of your own.
Women have not stood up for themselves in the past, but it sure is different now. No one likes to argue with a ex, but fair is fair. Good luck in the future Moni!
maryanntx
15 years ago
You are a strong lady Moni. I know you will make it. Hope you find what you are looking for in a home.
ravencajun Zone 8b TX
15 years ago
not sure what area you live in but I know when I lived in Norman, since it is a university town there were many homes that would rent out rooms that may be a good option for you now till you can get more saved up. Craigslist should be a good resource.
I too think there should be money to you in your split after that long of a marriage. Is he still living in the house?
I have a great friend that is in real estate in the Norman area that could probably help you located rental property.
below is the link to him, he is an awesome person.

Here is a link that might be useful: tom
OklaMoni
Original Author
15 years ago
I never said I wasn't getting any temporary support, while I am waiting for my court date. I started working, cause lets face it, at some point I will need to be able to make some money.

I don't want to live renting. I rather own a little house of my own, with a little yard.

To accomplish that, I need to show a steady income. As is, I don't have a credit rating on my own, and can only buy once the house we own together (and he is still living in) sells.

So, I finally got off my tush, and quit being "just a housewife" and got a job.

I am looking for housing in the north part of OKC, as I would prefer to be near my daughter in Edmond.

Found a nice apartment today. Hope there will be a "studio/efficiency" opening... as it costs less, and is less to maintain, but will take a one bedroom unit otherwise.

I am also still looking at a small house, not that far from where I will be working.

Things will work out in the long run. Step one was, get out. :)

Been there, done that, and feel fine about it.

Moni
3katz4me
15 years ago
Hi - I don't know all your history but have kind of been following your plight. I think I've pretty much pieced the story together now based on this thread. I admire what you're doing to start a new life. I have always pretty much been at least an equal breadwinner in our household which gives a certain peace of mind if the marriage were to implode. I've often wondered how people handle things if they've been out of the workforce as it seems you have been and then there's an implosion. I feel like I'm now learning first hand. I think some people feel trapped in this situation. It sounds like you didn't and have been determined to start a new life no matter how difficult. I wish you the best.
Georgysmom
15 years ago
Sounds to me like you are doing just great. I hope you work out the housing situation. Renting that house near your daughter would be perfect. Maybe they would be willing to make a deal...rent with an option to buy when your other house sells.
whidbeykathy
15 years ago
Great news about finding a apartment as temporary housing! Safety is #1, if it's a secure place, you are way ahead already!
Living near your daughter would be great!
User
15 years ago
Congratulations on your new start.

Even though you want to own a house, I think it is better to look around for a little while and watch the area for crime, etc. I think you can call the police station and get crime reports for an area or at least get info on how to find them. They may even be on-line. If you know what area you want to be in, days like today with bad weather are a great opportunity to look around and see how the neighborhood drains and whether it is in a regular tornado route.
linda_in_iowa
15 years ago
Moni, your not having a credit rating of your own is a word to the wise for other married women on this forum. Always have a credit card in your own name.
vala55
15 years ago
In kansas if you and your husband own a home, pay utilities you have credit. You have to go to the credit bureau and set it up in your name. I did that they told me his credit is mine, it's the law. I think it is a federal law, but not sure.
zeetera
15 years ago
Good for you Moni. You'll do well. Any chance that you can buy out your husband and keep the matrimonial house? Don't want to get into your business so no details are required, but it's quite common here for one partner to do that.
User
15 years ago
Good luck with the new job Moni and I hope you find a nice place to live soon. It will all work out in the end.
susanjf_gw
15 years ago
i'm delighted you got in at home depot..we have ladies at "our store" who almost know us by name , cause we always use their checkout counters...the house will will come whe the time is right..
life does seem to go on whether we're in/on the right lane or not! as long as you have peace of mind and not the mind clutter of an unhappy situation, you're ahead...bravo!
vala55
15 years ago
You really need to check the laws because I think it is a federal law that your home and utilities give you a credit rating. I was always told I should have a credit card in my name and found out it's not necessary.

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