Yes, it's puppy behavior but it needs to be addressed and now is the time for you to be taking the dog to obedience class. I'm not one that believes in sending a dog to obedience school (vs taking the dog) since the owner usually needs the training more than the dog.

You apparently have your hands full with children and a baby on the way, so I have to agree with you that the dog needs a new home. When the kids are older and you have more time, then you can get another dog. When you do, consider adopting an older dog that is beyond the puppy stage.

Did you get the puppy from a breeder? If so, contact the breeder, and if they're reputable they'll either take the dog back or will help you find a home for her. Otherwise, contact breed-specific rescues. At her age you shouldn't have any problems re-homing her and it'll be the best for you, family and the dog.

It would have been an obedience class that I would have taken her to. It's really hard to hear that. I really like her, and my husband said he won't get another dog.

We live in a small town and it's not a professional "breeder". This was the lady's first time breeding, and I hate to tell her because she's a friend of a friend and I know she had a hard time parting with the puppies. I feel so callous to be getting rid of a puppy who loves me. I know she would be a great dog if we could get beyond this, but I'm also so afraid that she will bite my little boy in the face. Both my kids wear glasses, so at least they have eye protection, but any bite would be awful.

Our puppy's mother was super mellow and great with kids, and the father was a rescue dog. The breeder actually ran a day care out of her home, and the puppies were around kids all the time so we thought this would certainly work. We chose our puppy because she was so mellow, and she generally is that way, just not at all with our kids.

I'm not a dog trainer and only own a dog, but what I would do is scold her when she jumps on anyone at all, use the word "off" and/or "no," and stern voices to show you are angry at the behavior. Use the dog's name too. "Fido, no!" Hold her down (gently) by the shoulders if you have to. The minute she even seems to start in on the toddler, tell her "off/no," attach the leash and give her a time-out of whatever time you think is good. You could tie her up so she can see the family fun but not participate, or even banish her to another room with the door shut for whatever time you think is good (not too long).

When the dog is around the toddler, watch her carefully every move the dog makes to be ready for the misbehavior or even the beginning of it.

When she is around the toddler and behaving well, be sure to praise her, maybe even a treat. Praise is so important.

Best wishes to you and your growing family. I hope you don't have to rehome her, but if you do, she certainly will adjust. And maybe that would be a good thing because you will have your hands full soon!

Poodles are not ordinary dogs. A lot of people scoff at that, but I have found this to be true.

The puppy is probably looking at the toddler as a litter mate and possibly a rival, not a person. I'll bet the dog is also aware of the pending addition---maybe not specifically a new child, but the dog knows something is different.

My DIL is a groomer, and had a standard given to her as a one+ year old. They have three other dogs and cats. In just three short years, the poodle became a problem---not overtly by misbehaving, but sneaking the misbehavior. Peeing on the bed of someone who made him mind, hiding other dogs toys, refusing to eat, pouting, and slowing down responses to commands.

My DIL had to rehome him to a older couple with no children or other pets. He is doing fine there---none of the problems and behaving/minding beautifully.

I have had several dogs whose behavior I have been able to redirect---sadly, poodles(and especially standards) are a completely different situation. They are self aware(any groomer with any experience with poodles will verify how different they are to groom---screw up the first sessions and you can destroy a dogs confidence) and do not respond to training methods used by many trainers. And obedience training is generally useless for behavioral problems like you have now.

Rehoming is, unfortunately, probably the best thing you can do for both the dog and your family.

updating,
You have your hands totally full with your kids that are born already, and now you are expecting another child.
What were you thinking when you got a puppy?
She is still young, the puppy, stop messing around and being selfish and find her a good home.
Give her to someone who has lots of time to spend with her.
You not only don't have any time, it will be getting even worse soon with a new baby,
Don't worry about what other people think, do what is best for your human children. They come first.
Not a dog.
You will get over the dog, especailly when you have the new baby, You will be glad you don't have the dog then.

A trainer on TV said never use the dogs name when you scold it. It will associate his name with punishment and may not come when called.

I agree with handymac......Standards are a different animal when compared to the Miniature and Toy Poodles and I don't think your family is ready to take on the training.
I still think you should contact the breeder first and let her know your situation. From my experience working with a rescue organization, I'm pretty sure she will be more offended by you not contacting her and giving her 'first option' than she will be when you call her and ask if she can be of help. You never know......she may know someone looking for a Standard Poodle.

I think your hormones may be playing a part in you wanting to keep the dog but things will changes once the baby arrives. Your husband apparently doesn't care for the dog and neither do the kids........so don't feel guilty finding a home that has time and energy for the puppy.
Also, keep in mind that even though the kids eye-wear may offer some protection, it's usually the ears, nose and lips that are damaged when a puppy nips a child's face.

For what it's worth, when she's been to the vet (shots, microchip, de-worming, etc) and the groomer, those working with her are amazed at her great behavior because she's so calm. I do think she'll make a wonderful dog. But I can't be comfortable with her and my son. She's as tall or taller than my daughter when standing on her hind legs, and yesterday when my son was walking away from her, she jump up with her paws on his shoulders and had her mouth open at the back of his head. She didn't put her mouth on him, but that close and open was scary. She does not growl or act mean at all. I think maybe she does see him as a litter mate or an equal, but doesn't seem to see him as a rival.

I talked to my daughter tonight about finding the dog a new home and explained how the dog could bite her nose or ear and tear it. She seemed to be ok with the dog being gone, but then asked for a smaller dog. When I told her we'd probably get some pretty fish, she seemed ok with it. I don't think my son will miss her much. He doesn't like her biting at him, and generally climbs to higher ground (up on furniture).

I think my husband is not resistant to re-homing, but he and I are both the most attached to her. I wanted a dog to alert us to strangers since we had a sudden problem this summer with a trespasser in our semi-rural neighborhood. She is not the most alert, and will just lay down and look at us when we try to get her up in the morning to go outside.

She does seem really aware of us and what we're doing, and attached, and that does make it harder. Like she trusts me, and I'm abandoning her. Maybe I just want to think that she couldn't get over us. Someone told me that dogs aren't like people and it will be easy for her to rehome.

It's also hard because we have a significant investment in her, and now money is suddenly tight. I guess it makes it feel like a double loss.

I am sorry you have to give up your pet, but I think you have come to the right decision to do what's best for the kids. You want their early experiences with dogs to be positive ones. My heart goes out to you, and you are being a good mom to both your kids and the dog by rehoming. Even though you have put a lot of money into the dog, all the money in the world couldn't make it right if there was an accident and the dog nipped your son or daughter trying to play with them.

Call the person you bought the pup from. She should take the puppy back. The pups behavior you describe is normal, they play with their litter mates using their mouths. They have to be taught not to this. Children aren't capable on their own to teach and you have your hands full. Again, call the person you bought from.

I think she is better with my daughter because we've gotten my daughter to mostly quit screaming and running away. The dog will actually take some commands from my daughter. And my daughter's height probably helps. She isn't allowed to sit on the floor with the dog, and that has seemed to help.

We've tried to get my son to give commands, but his speech is not very clear (he's almost 3 but very small), nor does he have a voice of authority. I think the dog can't understand him at all. The dog ends up jumping at him, and he shrieks and runs, and she chases. More mouthing and shrieking follows. The brief play session will then end.

I will call the breeder today to discuss. It is very hard to part with her.

I get really upset to hear not only you giving up on this puppy after making it part of your family, but also the others who so quickly say "rehome" him. That's a new word to me that I guess is supposed to make you feel better about not being a better pet owner. The dog's behavior is not bad behavior, just uncontrolled behavior. If you don't know how to train a dog, get some help. Dogs, like children, are usually good souls in need of a little direction now and then so they get along. This puppy doesn't have its mother to teach him so you have to fill that role or you wind up with an unruly teen. It won't take a lot to make a big difference.

A trainer can come to your house and show you and the children how to work with the dog. There are non verbal commands or the trainer can help select words the little ones can say clearly enough. Standards are very smart dogs and very trainable. I'd take one over the smaller versions any day. But the dog will grow faster than your kids and needs discipline.

Do you really want to teach your children that pets are disposable? Or is it worth teaching them how to solve problems, empowering them and letting them have a dear friend and playmate?

Call the breeder, call a rescue group, even your local shelter and vet -- find someone, even a more knowledgeable friend, who can help you with your dog in your home. I bet a single session would show you that it won't be that hard.

If you give up this dog, please don't get another. And fish and turtles are disappointing pets for most children. They may not hold the children's interest very long and they may not live very long.

You know, I just came back to post because I was thinking we should try an obedience class first. She really is a good dog, but I think the person was right that she has a mind of her own. I was just downstairs in our garage, trying to get her to come up into the house. I said COME, she turned around and just looked at me, but wouldn't move. She just didn't want to come. I finally had to bait her with a toy, and get her in the stairwell, close the door, then I went upstairs and waited for her to come. So, I will call the breeder and discuss but we're also discussing an obedience class first. On the other side, I don't want either of my kids to get their nostril or ear torn open. It's hard both ways.

The best thing just happened! We have a really close family friend who has been supporting me in adding the dog to our family. I told her I just didn't think it would work out, and I was worried about safety of the kids, and she said that she would want the pup. If we do have to part with her, that would be the best possible solution because we could still visit the dog, and I would know the puppy is in safe hands. It is still hard to part with her, but it would be the best way to part. Also, our friend has a dog that has hip problems and so she can't walk the dog. She is delighted at the thought of a dog she can walk and that doesn't shed. My puppy has met her dog before and they got on fine, the other dog deferred to the puppy, even when our puppy was much smaller. My husband was happier with this idea too. We'll see how it goes, but this is a much nicer solution than giving her to strangers!

It's still hard. The puppy seems like she knows and understands me, like she's an old soul. I love having a dog.

Well at least you seem to have found a good home for her. I've never yet had a dog that had a behavior problem that couldn't be quite easily reshaped (and I've had dogs since I was 6 and I'm now nearly 50). I've had several purebreds, a couple of mutts, some strays, a couple adoptees from the pound. They have had different issues, but other than one chihuahua, none that I couldn't correct. (the chihuahua beat me...after two years, he wouldn't stop poohing in the floor...apparently a breed thing from reading..so that stray lost his home.)
Of course, if you don't understand dogs, maybe it's not that easy for others, in which case...and if they don't have the time to learn...they shouldn't have a dog.
If you have the proper alpha relationship with the dog, and trust, the dog wants to please you...and a harsh word is sufficient to quickly curb most behavior.
I hope you don't give your children away when one of them does something you find distressing without trying to curb the behavior first.

This post was edited by dbarron on Sun, Sep 7, 14 at 16:47

.... agree completely with what Lascatx said.

The dog's mother would be assertive in teaching her pup what behavior isn't acceptable. You should have been, too. Our standard loved to play rough with the grandkids, and they loved it, too. Once, my niece brought her toddler over and the dog knocked her down in an attempt to play. I simply grabbed the dog's collar rolled the dog over and pinned it to the ground while scolding him for his behavior. I reinforced it with a couple of verbal warnings when he showed interest in the toddler. From that day forward, the dog would still play like the kids liked him to play, but was perfectly gentle with toddlers and young kids.

Al

Updating, why not look at dog breeds that will be a closer match in temperment/behavior characteristics for your family.

Labs or collies, for instance. One of the biggest mistakes people make is selecting a dog because of how it looks. Look instead for behavior and temperment characteristics that fit your diverse family.

Maybe wait until your kids are older before you try another dog. In my experience, toddlers and even kids in early elementary lose interest pretty quickly in the family pet.

Stirfryi, I agree with you. I think 8+ is a good age for kids to have a dog. (Not saying mom won't have to take care of it, but the kids can help then.)

dbarron...that last sentence was a little rough.

I meant it to be...animals aren't disposable toys.
They're living creatures with their own feelings and no one should enter into having a higher order pet (dog, cat, parrot) without being aware he *should* be making a commitment for the animal's lifespan. If you want a disposable pet that doesn't have a life of it's own, get a goldfish or a guppy.

Ok, I stand guilty of having said fish have no life...and even that's not true. I have had pet fish that recognize me as the food provider and had differing behaviors when I got near..even coming up and being touched.

dbarron, I think you were harsh too. I think it's a far more responsible pet owner who gets a dog and realizes that they are in over their head and find him a new home, than one who keeps the dog but ends up confining it because they are in over their head.

While it's easy for an outsider to say "Just put in more time", that's easier said than done with two young kinds and a baby on the way. It doesn't sound like DH is on board with helping with training, which makes it even harder for the OP. Unless you've had a puppy, you don't necessarily know how much time and effort it will take.

It sounds to me like the OP doesn't have a lot of dog experience, much less puppy experience. She expected her 4-month-old puppy to come when called - and didn't have a plan to enforce that command. To me, that suggests that she isn't sure how to actually teach commands to the dog, and that she doesn't have realistic expectations. OP, this is not a slam to you AT ALL - there's no shame in not knowing stuff. I'm suggesting to others on this thread that keeping this dog, at this time, is not in anyone's best interests.

We got a Cardigan Welsh Corgi puppy when our twins were 7 years old. We waited until they were that old, because we knew that the pup would require a significant amount of time, not on our schedule, but on his. By that age, the children were able to assist with his training, Because of his strong herding instinct, the first thing he needed to learn was to not herd the children, and that would have been difficult if they had been a lot younger.

I completely agree with handymac that a different breed would be a better fit for the OP's family, and an adult dog would be even better. But I would wait until the baby is a couple of years old before taking on a dog.

OP, I'm really glad you fond a good home for your poodle!

Thank you annkh! I've been trying to get back to this thread for 2 days so that I could post exactly what you wrote. Nothing more need be said.

Updating, I hope everything is working out for you and family.

I'm glad you found a such a good solution, Updating! Puppies are awful. :) Puppies while pregnant? Eek! Getting that dog into another home while still a puppy was the right thing to do.

If you do decide to get a dog in the future, consider a shelter--some are really good at matching dogs to families and will also have guidance on puppy schools. I ended up with one that looks like a vicious junkyard dog but is perfectly suited for my smaller kids. (The classes they strongly encouraged us to attend helped with the puppy business a lot.)

(A well tended goldfish or turtle can outlive a dog. They are not disposable. Or cuddly.)

For the sake of trying to be nice, I will withhold my other comments, except that an experienced, responsible breeder should not have allowed this situation to occur.

At the shelter where I volunteer: young children + new puppy + no obedience school = NO way would we allow this adoption to take place.

If you really do love dogs - hope you make deliberate efforts to prevent this experience from making your children afraid of dogs for the rest of their lives.

Do you know how any adults are afraid of, or don't like dogs, because of early childhood experiences?

mdln, you are kidding yourself if you think experienced, responsible breeders are not going to sell a puppy to someone in the OPs situation. Shelters and rescues look into the background of the people, but very few breeders do.

The phrase that most disturbed me in all this was: "but my husband doesn't want to invest any more in the dog." Such a mistake.

I agree with mdln! A respectable & responsible breeder would not have sold a pup into this situation. They also have contracts stating if ever you must give up pet they go back to the breeder! Quite possibly they would meet the family the OP found and agree. There are multipliers and there are breeders. A responsible breeder would not be producing pups from a rescue dog!

@ graywings - have met hundreds of breeders at agilitry and AKC events and find them to be very (sometimes overly) selective. If you know breeders who would sell a puppy in that situation, I do not consider them ''responsible.'' Unfortunately, there are many irresponsible breeders leading to the huge problem with puppy mills.

I hope the close family friend deals with the ''nipping'' issue, so it does not turn into biting and an even worse situation. We get these animals ''given up'' at the shelter and cannot adopt them with a biting history -- so they are killed by lethal injection.

I believe all dogs (& owners) can benefit from good obedience training, especially pets who will be around children, and agree with annze that it is the owner who needs most of the training.

I'm glad you are looking into some training. I don't think it will take a lot to see a difference. Standard poodles are smart dogs. That means they are very trainable, but you also need to learn how to teach them. A puppy doesn't know people rules, words, doesn't have hands for signals or grasping something it wants. Dogs think and react differently, and once you learn that you can communicate more effectively with them. The mutual love and trust comes quickly then.

As far as nipping, nipping is different from aggressive biting. Dogs don't have hands or words. Watch a mama dog teach a puppy. Watch two dogs playing nicely. There is a lot of mouth activity going on. That's part of their communication as well as their play, and they will try to communicate and play with people the same way unless they are taught alternate skills. It doesn't mean you have an aggressive dog.

Labs are great family dogs, but you also have to know to expect to train them and give them plenty of play and exercise especially when they are young. They are one of the most popular breeds at the shelter, but many are returned because they get bored or unruly when they seek to entertain and exercise themselves. Having had a lab pup, I came to appreciate the phrase "A good puppy is a tired puppy."

I went through a panic after we brought her home (Marley and Me was a current best seller and I decided to read a good dog owner book with a lab -- not the best choice of timing for that title). It was my first dog as an adult and I learned that I needed to learn how to be a puppy parent. Also learned the value of the phrase "a good puppy is a tired puppy." She's been a great dog. Loving, smart - I swear she even has a sense of humor and can be so much fun. I wish you the same. Good luck.