skip to main content

The Kitchen Table

I'm In Shock! My husband just announced...

13 years ago

that he's quitting skiing!! He just returned from Tahoe after only one afternoon of skiing & decided that he just couldn't do it physically any more. And here I always thought he'd die with ski poles in his hands. Kind of makes me sad when anyone has to give up a favorite activity. I guess unfortunately we all come to that point...

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (16)

wanda_va
13 years ago
He will probably miss it a lot, but it is wise to stop before he has a problem. My DH was so sad when he had to give up riding his motorcycles--they were his babies. Getting old sucks....
0
mojomom
13 years ago
Oh, that's so sad. Could it be that he is not living up to his own expectations? Sometimes different snow conditions make it more physically taxing. Powder is fun, but taxing. Bumps are brutal. Keeping up with the kids is impossible. But on bluebird days, staying on the groomed pack at your own pace, the cruising is almost effortless. It's hard to scale back your expectations of what you can do and realize that you can't be a hotdog and keep up with the kids anymore. If he is in good health and can accept that and scale it back, he may find that he can still enjoy skiing. I've regularly seen skiers in their late 70s and 80s on the hill and having a blast. The key is skiing within your own limitations and accepting that you can't be the king of the hill. It seems like that's something that men tend to have more problems with than women.

Cute story: I was skiing with my sweet SIL (an excellent snowboarder) over Christmas. As we were riding on the lift, I told him he didn't have to stick with me and to feel free to take off anytime. He very sweetly replied, "no, I like skiing with you." Then he grinned and added, "unless it's a powder day." Fair enough!
0
Related Discussions
My husband just lost his dad
Q
Comments (4)
I have been trying to help my husband. He hasn't shown any grief since the day he had to see his father's body at the funeral home. At the funeral he was the only dry-eyed person. I have been doing everything around the house, and anything I can think of to make things easier on him. But I am about ready to snap. NOt at him but at the insensitivity of other people. It is crazy. First, the my FIL's sister (in her 50's) posted an invite to his funeral on facebook. It was supposed to be a private family graveside service because my husband's mother is in a very fragile state right now. It was such a shock and she is not doing well. So two days before the funeral it is found out that his family now has to get together enough food to feed about 50 ppl because my FIL's sister invited all these people to the service and get together afterward. They did NOT need the extra stress of having to do this!! And a simple thing- my parents decided to send flowers my MIL's house even though they really don't know her. My mother asked ME to send them (because I could pick out something she'd like I guess) so I called a local florist and asked that the flowers be delivered to the house on the day of the funeral. The florist calls me back the day of the funeral to say they couldn't get the flowers I wanted in that day so they would be delivered the next day. I didn't want to argue so I said ok. There are more important things. But then I get another call that evening saying the flowers wouldnt' be delivered until TWO days after the funeral. I spoke with the owner who was VERY rude. When I said the flowers were for a funeral he corrected me and said "No they are not for a funeral, they are being delivered to a home address." Yes, dumbass but they have a sympathy card with them. He then asked what the address was even though I'd already given it to the person who took the order previously. He went on to say it wasn't his fault (I wasn't even upset at this point) that his supplier was late and all he could do was have me select another arrangement and he "Might" be able to deliver it by the next day. I found another florist and called him back and asked him to cancel the order. He said he'd already made arrangements to get the flowers I needed (still two days late) and I told him I just wanted to cancel the order please and he said whatever and hung up on me!! Stupid, but I just broke down crying. And at the service, the strangest thing was that my MIL did not want to watch her husband's urn be buried in the dirt (her kids and grandkids wanted to watch) and I definately don't blame her. She is still thinking of him as a person who is alive or has characteristics of being alive and to see that would just kill me. She started bawling and told everyone she had to get out of there and NOT one of her kids escorted her away. MY FIL's sister who posted the thing on facebook took her away. It also seems that my MIL does not want to hear any good things about her husband from anyone. SHe is very angry toward him (probably for leaving her alone) and if anything nice is said she gets mad. So I say nothing. I just don't know what to do.
...See More
Rant - I'm so angry I can't even talk to my husband
Q
Comments (47)
Almost 31 years of marriage with his and hers ranting. I learned it from my husband. We never even had a thought about not being married to each other. My hubby just vents that way, but if he doesn't stop within a few minutes, then it is my turn. Then it stops! Some people have a dry sense of humor. Some are trying to make jokes and be funny when they post. That is their sense of humor. It doesn't mean they can't have a rational and meaningful conversation with the other person in their life. Geez, let's lighten up! I doubt the OP is seriously angry with hubby. My mom's going to kill me! I'm so hungry I could eat a horse! I'm so angry I can't talk to my husband! Back to the backsplash tile hunt..... before I pull my hair out! (Another one.)
...See More
Husband JUST back from the hospital, and scales on one of my Meyers
Q
Comments (6)
Nil, thank you for answering. As much as I would love the convenience of a one shot done application, I did some googling and I have to agree with Vladimir, I am weary of the toxicity of imidicloprid. I also have a cat, so that makes it even more dangerous. But I thank you for taking the time to answer :) . Vlad, you have no idea. My husband is the mountain of a guy who refuses pain meds in any situation not involving a bone poking out, but he was in so much pain morphine wasn't even strong enough to give him relief. I don't think I will ever forget his cries of agony at the ICU the first 24 hours. They kept him 7 days, 6 days hooked to an IV drip. . You are right that it is a lot of work, and I am exhausted beyond belief and completely emotionally drained. But at least, he's at home, now, and getting better. One day at a time, and I hope I don't collapse in a little puddle and fall asleep on the floor in the middle of the day :) . God bless, . Atheen
...See More
My husband and I just found he has a 17 year old daughter
Q
Comments (10)
Why are you so bothered by something that happened before you met your husband? You surely don't expect that younger him was going around in 1999 saying to himself, "I'd better not have any relationships in case Alison comes into my life"? And don't you think it must be a terrible shock to his daughter (don't call her "so-called", it's mean spirited) to find out the man she thought was Dad all these years isn't- and it sounds like he might have rejected her into the bargain? Since you live so far apart it's unlikely that this young woman will have much, if any, "impact" on your family unless you choose to make a huge deal out of it. And if your boys do find out about their surprise big sister, use it as a teaching moment that "sometimes we make mistakes/poor choices" and that forgiveness is part of the moral package.
...See More
kfca37
Original Author
13 years ago
I should have added that my husband will be 84 in May. He was planning on skiing to age 85, then reassess the situation, but pulling the plug earlier. He started skiing in 1967, so it will be 45 years. He was born with a heart problem, certainly accelerated with age, so I think it's probably time. I do hate to think of the day when he'll have to give up driving---hopefully, far, far into the future.
0
gemini40
13 years ago
Now your husband is a very smart man...he knows it's better to quit while he's ahead than sustain an injury that could be life threatning.. would he like cross country skiing perhaps? regardless..kudos to him.Sometimes us seniors get a rap for now knowing when to give it up..more so with driving than anything else..

june
0
juellie1962
13 years ago
Wow; he's still skiing at 84? He should consider himself blessed!
0
jannie
13 years ago
Look on the brightside, quiting smoking at any age is fantastic! Maybe he'll be back skiiing if he can breathe better!
0
sleeperblues
13 years ago
Quitting smoking? Did I miss something? I don't think a smoker could ski at the age of 84, at least not the 84 year old smokers I've seen.

I agree that it is wise for him to quit now. A broken bone at that age could be devastating, not to mention a bump to the head. Cross country skiing would be a lot safer, and equally as good of exercise if not more so. He sounds like an amazing man!
0
jannie
13 years ago
Ooops, I misunderstood, misread the first post. I thought it said smoking, not skiing. Boy is my face red!
0
susanjf_gw
13 years ago
it is sad but as the others have posted the idea of breaking a bone of any kind at 84 is always on your mind...does that mean you'll give up going to the resort, or do you live in ski country?

4 of my grands started skiing last year and are having so much fun...although with the crazy mi weather it was a terrible season (80's today!) and skiing michigan is pretty tame...i kid you not, lol, the existing ski hills around detroit are old land dumps...
0
mojomom
13 years ago
Wow, its great that he skiied to 84 -- good for him -- he is one of my heros! I bet he was a great skiier in his prime!
0
yayagal
13 years ago
I had a female client who went skiing on her 90th birthday, she was very sprightly.
0
patti43
13 years ago
He's a hero already in my book! I think it's harder for men than women to admit they just aren't up to doing things they've done all their lives, so I feel for him in that respect. Harry had such a hard time with so many things. But you should be proud he knew it was time.
0
dedtired
13 years ago
84!! What a man. Smart too, to know when to stop. I do believe in pushing yourself, but not foolishly.

My neighbor just broke his leg skiing in Vermont. It's a really bad break. He had to have surgery on it.
0
ruthieg__tx
13 years ago
Congrats to your very smart husband on making a life changing decision. Getting old does suck because our brain tells us we can do all the things we did when we were 30 but we oldsters know in our hearts that we can't........I am in the process of more exercise/activity and losing a few pounds. I don't want to be skinny but I know that I need to lose a few in order to make my life easier.
0
lindyluwho
13 years ago
Skiing at 84!! I'm impressed!
0
joyfulguy
13 years ago
As some have suggested - maybe cut back to much less strenuous/risky action, but not need to stop entirely - quite - yet.

I'm thankful that my body seldom has said, "Listen, you darned old fool - you can't do that any more!".

But I have felt it wise to cut back, some, on various things.

I agree that, for many of us, in this auto-addicted society (which was encouraged heavily by the auto companies) ...

... one of the major difficulties is agreeing to give up driving (prior to getting killed - or killing/maiming someone else).

I figure that I can live here as long as I can drive ...

... but hitch-hiking 20 - 30 km. (12 - 18 mi.) to town in winter ... is a good way to get one's thumb frozen.

ole joyful
0

Related Stories

COLOR You Said It: ‘Adding Color Is About So Much More Than Shock’ and More

By Becky Harris

Highlights from the week include color advice, Houzzers helping Houzzers and architecture students building community housing

COLOR 8 Pink and Purple Rooms Sans Sugar Shock

By Lisa Frederick

Little-girl dreams find grown-up expression in rooms that work pink and purple into chic and sophisticated palettes

FUN HOUZZ Houzz Announces 3D Furniture Printing

This amazing new technology promises to revolutionize the home furnishings industry. Here's how it works

LIFE You Said It: ‘Just Because I’m Tiny Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Go Big’

By Becky Harris

Changing things up with space, color and paint dominated the design conversations this week

HALLOWEEN See a Shockingly Stylish Halloween Home

By Adrienne DeRosa

Skilled in casting an alluring spell, this Ohio home just might conjure inspiration for your own chambers

KITCHEN OF THE WEEK Kitchen of the Week: Coastal Kitchen Honors a Beloved Husband

By Jeannie Matteucci

This Southern California kitchen makeover includes a touching story of a couple who faced a much bigger challenge during their remodel

WINTER GARDENING 6 Reasons I’m Not Looking Forward to Spring

By Benjamin Vogt / Monarch Gardens

Not kicking up your heels anticipating rushes of spring color and garden catalogs? You’re not alone

FUN HOUZZ Everything I Need to Know About Decorating I Learned from Downton Abbey

Mind your manors with these 10 decorating tips from the PBS series, returning on January 5

Help! I'm a Minimalist, My Child is a Maximalist

By Erika Ward - Erika Ward Interiors

8 Ways to Corral the Kids' Stuff

LIFE You Said It: ‘I’m Never Leaving’ and More Houzz Quotables

By Becky Harris

Design advice, inspiration and observations that struck a chord this week

Sponsored

20 Reviews

Loudoun County, Virginia's Leading Interior Designer

More Discussions

Lost Part of My User Name

5

Wednesday's Daily Quiz

7

Smile today - 4/17/25

10

Post from Nicole...she can't post for some reason

20

I'll show you mine/you show me yours - F 4/18/25

4