Having lost our 15y/o, 10 y/o, and 8 month old dogs last year, I can say I know what you are going through. You are going through the normal grieving process. Allow yourself to mourn your loss. It is hard. There are still times when I will shed a tear for them. Time will help.

In our case, we did get more puppies, but you could consider a dog from a shelter or rescue. We did look, but couldn't find a small breed dog at them at the time. You will never replace your dog, you can only open your heart to another one when the time is right for you.

Linda

I am sorry for your loss. It is a very difficult thing to go through. Everyone mourns in their own time. I still cry over the loss of our beloved cat, Fox. We lost him in the summer of 2006. I miss him so much but as cliche as it sounds, time does help to ease the sadness. We tried everything to save him and spent thousands. Nothing worked. I feel guilty for putting him through all that we did, but I had to try.

We got another cat about a month later. I know that may seem quick to a lot of people but our other kitty, Dana, was very lonely. She had never been without Fox and we felt she needed a companion.

You'll get another furbaby in your own time. You will know when you are ready. It may be sooner or it may be later. Don't let anyone talk you into something you aren't ready for.

Again, I am sorry for your loss. ::hugs::

I am so sorry for your loss. It is very difficult to move on, especially when things go so wrong, like not getting a diagnosis. I can't imagine why radiographs were not taken of the swollen leg; bone cancer is pretty darn obvious in most cases, and even if it isn't obvious there are certainly other diagnostics besides squeezing on the leg (I echo the WTF in this case).

I've always had more than one dog, and the others provide some comfort. But I never have gotten over any of their losses, and Kang died 6 years ago. I try to remember all the fun stuff we did, each of their distinctive personalities, but I still get sad at their losses. When Aleksander died in 2006, even though I had my old Rottie girl, our Lab, and my husband's little Princess Ana (Husky), I felt like there was a hole in my heart as well. So I got Tatyana, another Husky, about 2 months later. She doesn't really fill in the hole that Aleksander left, but it's amazing how much your heart grows with love for another.

My mom lost her only dog in September. She couldn't stand the empty home either, and picked up Maggie about a month later. My mom has always had pets except maybe 2 years of her life, so being without one, especially as the only person in the house, was lonely. She still misses Lizzie but Maggie is a lot of fun and companionship for her. She adopted Maggie as a young adult from the shelter, so she didn't have to go through the puppy stuff again, which she couldn't really do anyway because of her work hours. Plus she saved a life in honor of Lizzie.

Nothing replaces the ones we have lost. You just learn to love again. I hope that you are able to do that when you are ready. A lucky pet deserves such a loving home.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. I had to say good-bye to my two 14-year-old Wheatens last year, one just six weeks after the other, so I know how profound the loneliness can be. All of a sudden, there were two heartbeats missing in the house.

Although no dogs could replace the two we lost, we got 2 new puppies just 3 months after putting down our second dog. It ended up being too soon for my husband (although he didn't say so at the time), but I couldn't live any longer with the huge hole in my heart. I needed furbabies to love and care for. Hubby and I have fallen head over heels for our new Standard Poodles, but they have not taken the place of our Wheatens; instead, they have carved out their own niche in our hearts. I think it helps that they are not the same breed; there has never been a comparison between the ones we lost and the ones we now have. We still miss our darling Wheaties, and always will. You can't grieve if you've never loved...and who wants to go through life without love?

I know you're angry with the vets, but I've come to realize that health care (for humans as well as animals) is often as much art as it is science. Constantly swollen legs are painful with, or without, cancer, and the swelling itself is dangerous to tissue if not relieved. Don't focus on the pain you might have been inadvertently causing your dog; instead, concentrate on the fact that you were trying to do all you could to help your dog. Your dog trusted you, and she knew that everything you did was because you loved her.

Take the time you need to grieve. Your beloved dog will always live on in your heart and memories but, when you are ready, you will fall in love again. My sincerest sympathy, and deepest condolences.

I am also sorry to hear of your loss.

I have stated numerous times on this forum my dissatisfaction with the veterinary profession. I'm on my 7th vet in about 16 years.

I came very close to losing my girl Tara three times, because of mis-diagnosis. The last time, vet said she was getting better, I could clearly see she was getting worse. Out of complete desperation, one day I took her in for a full day so she could be observed, vet said she was getting better.

The next day, I just couldn't stand it any longer, she was suffering and I was in agony watching her. I started to make arrangements to put her out of her misery. Then I found someone who said they could help, and this person did. I was blessed with having her for three more years, she had a good quality of life.

My main issue with vets is their lack of humility when they are wrong. In my case, I would have had a completely different view of the profession if the vet would have just admitted he/she was wrong, and that they were sorry. I spent so much time and money doing things that almost cost me my dogs life.

We are at the mercy of the profession. Fortunately I really do love my current vet. We do have disagreements, but we understand each other. My past experience has also taught me to question everything and research what is going on. I also put a time limit on medication, I want to know a date when I should start to see positive results. If I don't, I want to know why. If vet doesnÂt know why or switches meds, all sorts of red flags go up.

As for your loss. It is an individual thing how you deal with it. When I lost my Tara, I cried so much for two weeks my eyes hurt. I completely collapsed with grief more times that I can count. I woke up crying, I had to take off work.

I refer to the experience of losing a pet as having a piece of fabric ripped violently out of you, the fabric that the dog has woven itself into over the course of time. The hole is there, with all of the pointed rough edges that pierce your heart. Two years later I am still crying on occasion.

I do suggest you get a puppy, but you do need to wait at least 3 months. The scent of your lost dog will confuse the pup, and could get things off to a bad start. I started to look one month after on the computer. After hours of looking, I accidently found one, she is now at home with me and my two other dogs.

There are so many dogs that need good homes, the number is staggering. A pup will keep you occupied, and you will also discover that you will be looking at things through the eyes of a pup, a very refreshing thing after going through so much.

Good luck!

SG

Thanks so much for all of your thoughts. My dog before this one, Sharona, lived till age 14. When I had her put down it was so traumatic, she screamed the whole thing out, it was awful. I said I'd never get another dog because I couldn't stand to go through that again. But I had to be strong because my children were still little and my husband(now ex) was such a jerk.

The house was so empty at that time I took the kids to the shelter and we got two calico sister. They are sweet and now 14 yrs. old, but it wasn't the same as a dog. I am just a dog person. Then one day my friend showed up on my doorstep with this little black fuzzball, 5 wks old, female lab mix and she just totally stole my heart.

My Maggie was with me through my divorce, when even my kids hated me, she was always there with that wonderful unconditional love. I think that is why the bond was soooo strong with her. Plus the fact that she was so stubborn as a pup I had to spend hours with her training. She even jumped up on my dining room table one day while chasing the cat and she was already 60 lbs. at that time! LOL I must have spent at least 10 hrs. a week training her, but it was so worth it, she turned out to be the most wonderful dog.

DH has been so wonderful with me through this. He says if I want another dog to go ahead and get one but he thinks I should wait awhile and not get one as a rebound thing. He also would prefer a smaller dog next time because while she was sick he had to pick her up to get her to the vet and she was 70 lbs. so that was pretty hard on him. We're not old (50-ish) but getting there...LOL....and a smaller dog would be easier.

I guess I need time. Again, thank you.

I have lived through the loss of multiple animals and yes you do hurt when they go. But you will move on and love another animal. They are all different unique individuals. And you can love another dog or cat just as much as the last. I now have 3 cats and a dog.

We used to have big dogs and now have a toy poodle for three years now. I never thought I would adjust to a toy from a larger dog. They are definitely more fragile than a bigger dog (especially the tiny ones under 6 pounds). Although my dog loves children I usually have to monitor him with them. Toddlers and preschoolers can pick him up and injure him. So the toys are better with older children and adults.

The best part is that I can take him with us anywhere when we travel (under the seat in a plane even) due to his smaller size and that is a BIG plus. He is my constant lap companion. Since he will never get any bigger it is like having a puppy around all the time.

Mrs. TLC, I'm so sorry your good friend is gone. Give yourself time. It hurts, I know. I've lost pets several times over my lifetime, and it's always been hard. Probably the worst year was 5 years ago when both my mother, my dh's mother, 2 cats and our dog all passed away in one year. I still miss them all. Cats have a way of finding their way into my home, and I now have 7 cats, way more than I thought I'd ever have, but people keep dumping them. (that's a whole 'nother subject.)

Anyway, as I said before, be patient, and let yourself grieve. When the time is right, if it becomes right, maybe the right pet will find it's way into your home, but for now, take care of yourself. You need the TLC.

Sally

You know it's funny how each animal touches us deeply. I've grieved over each and every one but in most cases was able to give my heart to another fairly quickly because each dog is so wonderful and unique in their own way. Until I lost my Doberman. For weeks after I was just in a fog and really I don't know how I got thru those days.She has been gone since Sept. 2006 and there is still not a day I don't think of her or say something about her to someone. To be honest I'm sitting here crying as I write this now just thinking about her. The April after loosing her I brought home a German Shepherd puppy. She's not MY girl but she sure is a lot of fun. Everyone deals with loose in their own way and it has taken this long to make room in my heart to really let myself love Jerri but I knew too that I would have really been miserable without a dog. I had another dog at the time but she was an elderly Chow and was good company but not one for doggie fun and games anymore. I always told myself Buttons was the perfect dog and the next one would be a monster and I have no doubt she had a paw in sendng me this wild child :) It's not easy but in time you'll be able to smile at her memory more than you'll cry but the tears never completely stop. As someone told Dean Koontz about the passing of his beloved Trixie: The pain is so intense because the joy was so intense.

Lisa

We too have lost our doggies at the age of 18 and 14. When Chelsea died in Feb. 06, we knew we needed time before we decided if we wanted another puppy. In Sept. we finally found a Minilabradoodle, which is what we decided would get if we ever got another. To make a long story short (somewhat shorter) we ended up with TWO, a brother and sister. We went for the female we named Andi, and Amos literally fell into my husbands lap and said, "Take me too, please." So for our 36th wedding anniversary we gave each other a puppy. I also think Chelsea, up at Rainbow Bridge was saying, "See, it takes TWO to fill my paw prints!" And boy do they!

Oh, my heart goes out to you. You don't so much move on, rather time moves on and takes you along with it.

I've posted about our horrible year when we lost our two older cats and then a kitten within a 4 month span of time. It was absolutely awful going through that and it took us a very long time to even smile again. I still have my moments (had one last night) and not a day goes by that we don't miss them like crazy. We are now blessed with two cats (one we'd gotten as a companion for the kitten we lost to FIP and the other we had gotten a few months later). They will never take the place of the ones we lost, but we never intended them to. They are their own selves and we love them just the same.

Our hearts can be pretty amazing, allowing us to love again while never giving up the ones we've lost.

If you can find it, do a search on this forum for a thread I'd posted called The Journey. It sums up the joy and the sorrow of loving a pet pretty well.

Again, my condolences on your loss.

Mrstlc~ I'm also very sorry for your loss. We lost our Choc. Lab in Oct. of last year, he was almost 14 months old, & I'm still not over his death. But, I was sent a "patch" for the hole left in my heart, by my lab, I believe. On Christmas Eve, I was introduced to an 8 wk. old puppy that no one really wanted. It was love at first site, so I adopted him & having him around to take care of & train really eased the pain that I felt over the loss of my lab. This may not be the right choice for everyone, infact, I had already decided that I wasn't going to even think about getting another puppy until Spring at the earliest, but it really did help my heart heal as much as possible. I still think about my lab & still cry over his death & I'm not sure the sadness will ever go away, but it will soon get easier to deal with.

Good luck & again, I'm deeply sorry for your loss.

My deepest sympathy for your loss. As hard as it is to believe, the pain and anger does fade in time. We adopted our "new" dog and cat shortly after the death of our 3 beloved babies last year. Never once did I look upon the new adoptions as "replacements." They were in need of a home and we had the empty house and hearts. I am still grieving for our losses, but am so incredibly lucky to be loving my new kids. You will know when you are ready -- it will never be too soon or too late. When the right pet finds you, it's just too natural to ignore.

Our neighbors and us,have had dogs for 30 years and we've cried on each other's shoulders with the loss of each one. They recently lost their doberman and this has been the worst. Both of them have been very depressed and just not doing well. They went to a pet bereavement group and found it to be a big big help in getting over this loss. You might consider something like that if you can't get past the pain.

I still remember loosing my first dog when I was seven. And every dog, cat, and horse since then. They all have made a hole inside that I have had to learn to handle. Takes time and effort.

One word of caution---I think many people get a replacement animal too early---and are trying to replace the lost one. That never happens. All dogs and cats are unique and need care and love dedicated to that animal---not the departed one. As much as it hurts, it is much better to pick a new dog when you can focus on making new memories and not trying to recycle old ones.

my condolences.

Everyone has offered excellent advice & insight, & I just want to underscore one thing a couple of people have said:

Your new pet should be different from the one you lost:

If she was black, get a yellow one,
if she was lab/Golden, get a lab/something else.

One of Dr. Phill's shows was eye-opening about loss. He explained to a grieving mother, who had a child murdered, that she should live for today and keep those precious memories of her child alive in her heart; push the grief away and fill your heart with the joy of remembering. Be honored that you had that loved one (child or spouse or pet) in your life.

As a 61 year old, who has lost many family members, good friends and beloved pets, I can tell you that all it takes is the mindset that you were the lucky one to have had them in your life.

Please consider getting another pet or two. There are so many little animals out there who need you and the love you can give. No, they won't be able to replace the lost one, but they will fill your life with joy again because you choose them. Make some wonderful new memories.

Lots of good advice here on this forum from kind people. My wish is for you to think of NOW and only look back with fond memories, but always move along. Life is way too short to not LOVE again. Some lonely little animal needs you now.

Regards,
Janice

Losing a pet is just like losing a family member. Allow yourself the time to grieve. And cry, you need to cry a lot.

Over time, the painful feelings of loss will be replaced with fond memories. It just takes time.

I still tear up over the pets that I have lost years ago.

I am so sorry for your loss.
We have a 11 year old poodle that has been our "baby", we got him the year we found out we couldn't have kids so he became our world. Five years ago he was diagnosed with diabetes at the time the vet misdiagnosed him and gave him steroids which pushed the diabetes into overdrive so by the time we figured it out he had lost his eye sight. They told us at the time to take him home and make him comfortable. Well me being his "mom" there was no way I was giving up that easily. He's been on insulin for 5 years now and is doing great. But I know the time is going to come sooner than I would like and we will lose our little boy. The thought of that is more than I can bare. I don't know what we will ever do with out him.
I made the decision about a two months ago to adopt a little Dorkie, hale doxie, half yorkie. His name is Cooper and he has been such a light in our home. He's even made Buster a little more spry. I knew we would NEVER be able to replace Buster, he's just way to special but I also knew I couldn't live with out a dog in the house. To me having Cooper will make it a little easier when the time comes to tell Buster goodbye. I know in my heart that Buster is loved and has had the best life possible. We have been so blessed to have him in our lives.

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been through this a number of times with horses, dogs, cats. It is never easy.

One thing that does help me is to concentrate on the fact that I give my animals a good home. They live better than people do in third world countries---better than some people do in this country.

In regard to another animal. I always take the attitude that if we are meant to have another, it will come into our lives.

We had to put our chocolate lab mix down last summer. Although I missed her terribly, I was not ready and was not looking for another dog. Then, about 4 months after she died, our son called. A friend of his had a chocolate lab that they were looking for a home for. He has turned out to be a wonderful dog.

When it is right for you, another furry pet will come into your life. Until then, the grief is something that you just have to get through. It's the price we pay for loving them so much

Nancy

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I had to put down my 14yr old Dane Lab mix, "Putts" a while back, I think of how I rescued him out of a busy intersection when he was about 6 months old. He lived a great long life that could very well have been ended the day I found him in the street. I don't feel so bad when I think of these good things. I had a Lab "Bosco" when I brough Putts home, they were the best of buddies for 5 years when Bosco suddenly died of a twisted intestine, Putts was devistated (as was I). I did not feel I was ready for another dog but after a month Putts (an me) were sill so sad. I became a foster mom for dogs that were going to be put down at the shelter. Perhaps you could look into beeing a foster Mom. You would be saving a dogs life and having a little companionship could help you through this sad time. As much as I fell in love with all my fosters, (35 over 2 years)I was able to be happy that we found good forever homes for them and that I had an opening to save another dogs life. Eventually I got one that just would NOT be adopted and instisted on being MY forever dog. She is still with me 7 yrs later. You could just try one to see how it goes, saving one life is a huge thing! Blessings

I, too, am so very sorry about your lost.

IMO, 2 weeks is not very long at all and if you are still actively grieving a wonderful friend, that should not be unusual.

Last Friday was the 1 year anniversary of the passing of my beloved black lab mix. She was a wonderful dog, and like your dog, was with me through some very difficult times- and never ever let me down the way people have a tendency of doing. I will always say of her that she was my friend when it didn't feel like I had a friend in the world, and she was my friend when I didn't deserve a friend in the world. You don't get over losing someone like that very quickly.

I understand why other people are able to let another dog into their homes and hearts quickly after losing one, but it hasn't been for me. I am still grieving now, but the debilitating moments of pain stopped after several months. I am not ready to love another dog and it may be years before I am at that point. Every person has to do what is right for them. Honor your beautiful Maggie with your grief and also lovely memories, and in time you will grow bigger than the pain; but most importantly, don't let anybody tell you when it is you should feel better- you will come to that in your own time.

(((HUGS)))

I stated in a previous post that dealing with this is a very individual thing.

I have lost numerous humans close to me, but the experience of losing my beloved dog was the worst. Even though I had two other dogs, the grief was more complete and painful than I could ever have imagined. I and my friends consider me to be a very strong person, not at all soft mentally. But this really threw me even with all of my preparation. I was seriously worried that I just might not make it through everything.

That's when the decision was made to bring a pup into the house, she did her job well keeping me busy thinking about her needs.

SG

You all have been so wonderful with all of your suggestions. Thank you. I am actually doing better this week. Not crying all day every day. Maybe just tearing up a bit on and off. I'm trying really hard to focus on the joy she brought me and how she hated it when I cried. I love, love, love dogs.......always have...but I'm not going to get another one. I'm not saying forever because in my heart I know I need to have one, but Maggie had so many issues I really do just need a break for a while.

I was seeing on the news here this morning though about all of the dogs (& cats) that are just being dropped off at shelters by people who are suffering financially with this economy and people are just moving and leaving their pets behind and not even caring enough to take them to a shelter. It just broke my heart to know that these sweet hearts are just being tossed aside. I know that when the time is right I will give a "forever home" to a dog that needs one.

It is on the news everywhere, it is heartbreaking to see how many animals are suffering because of the economy. Many of the animals in shelters now are someones pet that had a nice home and are now traumatized by being in a shelter. Foster Moms are desperatly needed, please everyone consider opening you heart and home to just one foster animal, your chances of getting one that has good house manners are very high.

I just wanted to let you know that I lost my cat of 10 years last October and I still tear up when I think about him...Its hard but you just have to remember the good times and know that they aren't in pain any more. In my case, I have another cat that I've had for eight years and he was miserable...he no longer plays or acts like he use too. But my aunt realized how heart broken me and Nuts (my younger cat) were so she brought me a puppy that she was going to put in a shelter...well to get to the point (Lady Bug) the puppy has turned our lives around...I no longer just dread going on and Nuts is up and playing a little more...especially if he doesn't think I'm watching. He is a little jealous but he is acting more and more like himself everyday...Lady Bug has brightened up our lives..
My prayers and thoughts are with you...hang in there, it will get better

We had to put down our sweet peke of 13 years in Nov. of 2006. I never was so attached to an animal before. Although she could never be replaced by Jan. of 2007 I got another peke. This one grew to be much bigger, 20 lbs instead of 10lbs, a big white and cream boy that's nothing like our little Sasha was, but Caesar gives us a lot of joy and being in our 60's the house was just too quiet and empty after losing Sasha. Give it some time then give your heart to another pet who needs you.

I have lost many pets, which I consider family members over the years also. Only time lessens the intensity of the loss for me. Everyone handles situations in their own way. I also had a dog that helped me heal threw a bad divorce in my life, seems they are the only ones you can truly count on some times. Threw the good & bad they are always there to offer love & make you feel needed. Healing will come in time.