Having been through your experience, I'll just pass along what I discovered in a very painful way.

First, you desperately need to wait at least 3 months, for your good and the new dog. The scent of your lost dog will confuse the new one, and could get things off to a bad start.

Second. You are not looking for a dog, there is a dog looking for you.

Since you are familiar with the breed, I don't have to tell you how much energy they have. I might remind you (as I also painfully discovered) that bringing a new dog into the household takes huge amounts of work and patience. Both something that I, my friends and vet consider that I am capable of and have huge amounts of, BUT, my last acquisition was a 4 month old Shepard/Hound pup that really tested my vaunted patience (she was traumatized before I came along, long story). Two years later, I am still gently making progress, thanks to my past experience with dogs.

Good luck!

SG

I don't understand why should you wait 3 months to get a new dog? That is totally ridiculous! From what I have read of your posts about your Maggie,you have a lot of love to give a pet."Waiting 3 months" or 3 weeks isn't going to make that love any more or any less! As for the scent of your other dog "confusing" another one,baloney! It's a dog! When it realizes there isn't physically another dog in your house,it will adapt.

"Second. You are not looking for a dog, there is a dog looking for you."

Maybe that dog IS the one that is looking for you?? Sounds like it to me! I say go with your gut feelings on this one.If it feels right,take that baby home with you and give her all the love you have in your heart right now! She will reward you with her unconditional loyalty for saving her.JMHO

I'm with Lillie.

This will be my last word on this one.

Bologna should be used to describe meat, not professional theory.

There is no doubt that there is much love to be given to any animal original post wants to get. Without careful thought, the whole process could be a nightmare.

One must consider carefully all aspects of bringing a new dog into the house, lest life can, and possibly will, become a living hell. This forum is a testament to that.

Finally, failure to spell BOLOGNA correctly, greatly reduces a statement. Please show an iota of intelligence by hitting the spell check, lest you embarrass yourself.

SG

mrs tlc,
I would advise you to wait, and work through your grief a little longer. I had to put my 14 1/2 year old baby, Taco, to sleep in March 2007. It was devastating. I still had one dog, but decided to get another in July 2007. I can say overall that it was a mistake. I don't feel I grieved properly for Taco. The new dog required a lot of attention, and I felt (and still feel) guilty that I 'forgot' Taco too quickly. Not that I actually forgot her, but the new dog (Daisy), took a lot of work, so it was as if I did forget. (Hard to explain.)
To compound things, Daisy has turned out to be a bad choice. She was a rescue that I found on Petfinders. A really cute little beagle. I had no idea about beagles...I read about them and some of their issues, but this dog is a real handful. I am now looking for a new home for her. This makes me feel even WORSE than I already did about 'forgetting' Taco...... I lost my 'dog of a lifetime', then end up with a poor choice that now I have to rehome. I feel so guilty and horrible. I guess this was kind of a rambling post, but somewhere in there, I just wish I'd have waited longer to get another dog...maybe 8 months or so.

For those interested in correct spelling, see below.

It's difficult to tell what's a right length of time to wait before getting another dog. I've been there several times and only once did I get another dog too soon. I did it because DH thought the other dog needed a friend. Turns out my dog wanted nothing to do with the new dog and I expected the new one to be as well trained as the one I'd lost. In the long run, she ended up being our little love who could do no wrong and we were able to give her extra care that she needed in her later years.

Another time I adopted a dog with DH saying 'it's too soon'. He was still grieving but I needed a yard/travel companion since DH had his own hobbies. Again, it's a dog he spoils rotten and dotes over!

Mrs tlc,......do what your heart tells you.

In weed's case I can see how things may not turn out for the best if one gets a breed of dog they're not familiar with.
Weed, try not to feel guilty. You, and all of us here, know you never forgot Taco and I'm sure she doesn't hold a grudge that during this time you've help another dog out of a bad situation. The fact you have to rehome her does not make your effort a waste of time. A hug for your efforts!

Here is a link that might be useful: Spelling

Don't you just wish there were written rules somewhere for situations like this? You will know when it's right and won't be left wondering. What was most telling in your post was your DHs reaction. I'm going to assume that he knows you better than anyone and his should probably be the opinion you trust when you aren't sure about trusting yourself right now. In any case, when the time is right, you both will know. I look forward to reading the post about your new-found love someday.

SG-I spelled BALONEY in the way that it was intended.....NONSENSE! I am not at all embarrassed by the spelling or by the intent of my statement,but perhaps you should be.:) Does your spell check work?
I expect that I am as intelligent as you obviously are and am just as entitled to my opinion as you.If you notice I added JMHO,which was to say that it was just "my" own opinion on the subject! I still think that pup may have been put in mrs_tlc's path for a reason,but then that is just my opinion and I have been known to be wrong!

I tend to think that perhaps this dog might have been put into your path for a purpose too. No one can make that decision for you but try not to be tied down to rules. There are none and everyone's life is different.

SG - Why so quick to be critical of spelling? To question a person's intelligence based on that is very small minded.
And totally unrelated to the post...

Someone will take this sweet Lab and give her a good home. Me, I would have walked out the door with her, but I have a house full of 11 dogs, so what's one more? LOL Actually, my DH would have grabbed the dog, so I would have not had to ask, but then, he likes having a houseful.

When we lost our little blind Shih tzu, Boo, we cried for 3 years. We moved to an apartment where we couldn't have dogs, so it wasn't an issue. Then one day on the net I did a search for puppy pictures and found a little blind puppy. Then I found a group for blind dogs and then on the group I found a blind German shepherd who had been badly abused and I found a deaf/blind cocker and his seeing eye companion who were to be gassed down in GA at Christmas time!

Guess what family had not one but THREE dogs before they even owned a house! You should have seen us scramble to find a house where we could have all these dogs. We did it and the cocker and his seeing eye dog came here on Christmas Eve and the German shepherd followed a couple of weeks later. When you are ready -- you are ready!

I have no idea why you would need to wait 3 months either. I have no idea why the scent of the first dog would confuse the second. I've certainly never found that to be a problem and heaven knows I've had opportunities to find out.

Weed, I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard to bury a family member and some people need more time to grieve than others. You didn't forget Taco, you couldn't. It IS possible to choose a dog that does not match with your personality, I've done it myself. The responsible person then finds a compatible home for the dog, which you are doing. You don't need to feel guilty about rehoming a dog. It would be worse if you kept her and tried to make her fit into a situation that isn't working out. Dogs are cooler about rehoming than we are. She knows she doesn't fit and will happily go with the right family, you'll see.

Peace,
Jane and the Hole in the Wall Gang

Different people grieve differently for different animals under different circumstances. In my own experience, there have been losses that have kicked the stuffing out of my heart for a year and left me incapable of bonding with a new animal until I regained my emotional equilibrium, and there have been losses from which I recovered much more quickly. There was one instance in which I adopted a new dog waaaaay too soon after multiple losses. I was never able to bond strongly with poor Sarah, though I gave her as good a life as I could for many, many years. Still, I always felt guilty about bringing her into my family at a time when I couldn't also bring her into my heart.

OTOH, I have read lots of posts over the years by folks who found it extremely comforting and helpful to adopt a new animal very soon after the loss of another. The adoptions helped those folks through their grieving processes.

So the answer is to take time to understand what you need and what you and your family can offer a new animal. If you believe that you and your family are ready to give your heart to another animal right now, then there's no need to wait. But if you feel you or your family needs more time to grieve and heal before opening yourselves to another animal, then wait.

Laurie

Thank you for all of your opinions. My first reaction also was that "Laley" might have been put in my path for a reason, but I know that DH was right which was why I didn't push the issue. I think the main thing is that there really is no specific timing and yes, sheltiemom, I tend to agree with your statement that DH does know me and my heart well.

As far as getting a pet too soon, I did that when my last dog, a 14 y/o sheltie mix, died. I decided that I would avoid the kids' arguing over who's turn it was to walk the dog, etc. so I got two calico kittens (sisters). They are adorable and are now 14 y/o, but, I have never bonded with them at all and I feel horrible about that. I'm just more of a dog person. Yes, I recued them from the humane society and when my kids were home they gave them lots of attention and Maggie, of course, loved to harrass them. But now they seem more like porch ornaments as they are not lap kitties at all. Maggie came along 3 yrs. after my other dog and she stole my heart from the get-go.

Lastly, it is just DH & I at home (except for the cats) so if and when the time comes I really want it to be something that is what we BOTH want and not something he is conceding to just to make me happy. We both had a good laugh Saturday when we were cleaning and I asked him to help me move out the entertainment center because I hadn't cleaned behind it in a while and what did we find but a big ole black hairball!! LOL, we laughed that a part of Maggie will always be with us because we will be finding her hair for a long time!!

There is no set time limit on when you should get another animal after losing one. For me, it has always been IMMEDIATELY. Especially considering I usually adopt/rescue. In my mind, I am not so bereaved and emotionally all wacked out and trying to replace my lost dog, I know that can't happen - what I am doing is saving another life in honor of my lost pet. And for me, having an animal to love is ALWAYS a good thing! How can it not be?

Of course, you have your husband to consider as well, too bad about that, but I guess it is the price you have to pay for having a man around. I find that the older I get the less the price is worth it, but that's just me. And I wouldn't be with a man who didn't share my compassion for an animal that needs me. I would have taken that dog even if it was just to find it a good home with someone else.
I know I can't save them all, but when one crosses my path and needs someone, I can't walk away. If I do, I am haunted by it for months.

On the other hand, if the heart is still breaking so much that the human is not himself/herself.... meaning by that, I know that at some point one must "move-on", but if the mind is still wrapped around the pain, there's a real danger there that the atmosphere into which the new dog is coming may not be "healthy" for it. I would guess that each person is different and even each situation for that person is different. Perhaps a good plan would be to wait if at all in doubt? The heart will know.

I waited one month after my first dog Brandi died. My other dog, Dakota, mourned all those 30 days ... he layed around the house with no energy. And the house was TOO quiet. I couldn't stand it. So I started looking on Petfinder.com and found Lily. Dakota and Lily met and hit it off, and home she came. We've been one big happy family ever since, 2.5 years ...