We are experiencing something similar. My husband retired from the military 18 months ago. We had enough equity from the sale of our last home to finance this build. The builder appeared to be very professional and claimed to be in good financial shape. The house was started last March, and still not completed. Due to the economy the builder started borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. He has a couple of unsold, unfinished spec houses as no one is buying at this time. (We suspect he used our first 3 draws to finance these 2 houses). Since July we've had to take over the payments to the subs, after we'd already paid him $140k plus! The subs show up only when they feel like it. The builder has not shown up since August, does not return phone calls or emails. The building supervisor, DH and myself are trying to get our house finished. It has been a painful, expensive experience. If your builder is avoiding you now, and hasn't been upfront with you, what will it be like once you start building? Your husband may like this builder but this is not the military where personal accountability is front and foremost! Have a good think about things, interview a couple of other builders, ask friends and acquaintances for references and take it from there. As nice as it would be to have a new home ready by July, I'd try hoping for the end of the year!

uroboros, I have to ask this, because I can too easily believe that you were just casually scanning the real estate listings when this decrepit charmer reached out and grabbed your heart. (This has happened to me, although with a less expensive and more readily fixable house, so I know it is possible.) Here's the question: When you fell under the spell of this enchanting crone, were you actively looking for a smallish house in an lively urban neighborhood? If so, and * the size of the overall investment could be made clear by consulting with a contractor before making an offer, and * anyone can conceive of a way to render the house livable without completely erasing its preserved-in-amber decrepit charm, and * your DH magically became sanguine about the feasibility of what is needed and why it would be not completely financially foolhardy in the medium term, WOULD YOU REALLY WANT TO LIVE THERE? To me, it looks like urban nirvana. Having rooted around on Google Earth and various Montreal sites, I found a lively and lovely urban neighborhood with quite nice street trees and a Metro station only a long block away. Also, there is a restaurant nearby named Aux Derniers Humains, which has a menu as cool as its name. It looks as though the only room that is preclusively small (for someone used to rowhouse-scale spaces) is the kitchen. It is is a first floor-only extension off the back that is narrower than the body of the house, which is basically wide and shallow compared to other rowhouses in the neighborhood. The kitchen may only be a bit chopped up, as it is listed as 9 x 13, which could make for a nice galley design. If one did want to enlarge it, however, I see two options. Because the house is actually detached on one side, rather than part of a row, you could build out sideways to fill in the dogleg, which is exceptionally wide. Pop out some bricks, reinforce the new opening(s) with angle iron, et Robert est ton oncle. You would still have windows on the side of the house and if you created deep windows at the back of the new bit, you would have a nice perspective over what could be a charming garden. Alternatively, you could move the kitchen to the basement, having it go back further toward the front of the house and having clerestory windows. You might need a dumb waiter, but who wouldn't want one of those? I suspect that either of these options would not be extraordinarily expensive in the context of what needs to be done in the rest of the house, which to tell the truth is going to be more because you don't want to gut it. If Montreal is anything like DC, however, pictureseque urban neighborhoods are gaining value just because people are so tired of getting stuck in traffic. Sorry to be so pushy. This house is haunting my dreams. Cheers. hbk

I don't really have a "relationship" with my in-laws. My MIL is frankly not the kind of person I'd choose to be friendly with in real-life; she's (like yabber's) passive-aggressive, gossipy, talking behind one's back type. They didn't like his ex; MIL and she would get into arguments into which they'd try to drag friends and relatives to be on "their side". But they've always been completely distant with me; I'd try to reach out and I'd just be disregarded. My mother tried to reach out during wedding planning and was ignored. So I've given up and don't really much care what they think of me. When we've visited them or they've been here (not often), I don't apologize, don't change things, I just remain perfectly civil and disengaged. Since they've rebuffed any effort to know me, their opinion is a matter of indifference to me, since they know almost nothing about me. DH has had his own problems with them in the past. He was, and is, the one in the family who is blamed for anything and everything that goes wrong - yet he is also the one who is expected to drop everything and run up to save the day at their convenience. I leave it all up to him; if he feels that we should visit, I go - if he wants to invite them here, I do my best to plan a nice event and ignore the fact that they will be unhappy and find fault with it. It's not often that we do see them because of their behavior towards all of us. That's right, all of us. MIL had done a lot of babysitting of SS18 when he was young, and blatantly favors him over SS8. When SS8 sees them, he is first told how they miss him and he should see them more often (maybe he should drive himself?), then treated to a dissertation on his grandmother's health issues, then questioned about and compared to his brother. And then he's just ignored - given one of his brother's old toys to play with and set in a corner. And now, since SS18 is on-and-off living with BM, the two of them (BM and MIL) are back playing some twisted game. BM will invite herself over and promise to bring SS18, SS18 will refuse to go, and BM will show up with SS8 whereupon MIL and BM go right back into their bickering, while SS sits, ignored by both of them. It's fascinating in a horrible way to watch it all as an outside observer (like watching a train wreck). I'd often wondered why DH had married BM at all (aside from the shotgun part) since they seem so different. I realized a few months ago that MIL's behavior (self-centered, back-stabbing, playing favorites and pitting people against each other, the drama queen behavior, the disagreements in which everyone is expected to pick a side) is so very similar to BM's that it's no wonder that he didn't see anything unusual with it. Additionally, DH already knew that anything and everything that went wrong was his fault and his responsibility to fix - he'd been brought up that way! Poor DH and SS; they both deserve so much better. I don't understand it, maybe they were very badly behaved in a past life or something. I'd always thought my family was kind of out there, but DH and SS love them. We may be weird and quirky but everyone is well-meaning and unfortunately there are too few like that in DH's family.

I'm waaay late to this party AND my taste is not what one would call *mainstream*. With that proviso and the understanding that what follows is of course MHO and is not at all meant to offend anyone, I: Think the chair and sofa in the Tomato are FABULOUS. I am pleased the upholstery guy darkened the wood as it needs the depth of color to carry that scrumptious color. Think the FC is a totally unique neat piece of furniture which needs to be fixed 'proper like'. I cannot see this detracting from its value but in fact adding to it providing it's done correctly and not some hatchet job. Think also the FC is SO unique it needs a bold *here I am* fabric, not some whimpy paisley kinda fabric. The fabric Sujafr posted would be super. If your concern is to it's hardiness if you will, then try to find something tougher but very similar. That wonderful Tomato insists on something equally bold and beautiful to compete with it. Think I'd like to see your dining room as it appears from your floor plan drawing the living is open to that room - yes? The FP remarks you have laminate in the DR. Whatever the flooring material in the DR - you need to continue same material into the LR and all the way down the hall. Alternatively, you rip up the DR flooring and replace the whole 9 yards. You'll need to find a area rug/carpet that will co-ordinate the whole (both LR + DR) and if you've a window in the DR, then you'll need the same or very similar WT's on both windows. If they are open to each other as it appears they are, they can't be treated as separate entities without totally chopping up your spaces. Think the stripes definitely need to go with all painted a background color. What that might be should be a decision delayed until after the FC has a chosen fabric. Think the FP also needs to be redone - something very background not *here I am* so it's a good thing that's easy peasy for ya. :-)) Again not done/chosen until after the main furniture pieces are completed. If you were fortunate enuf to find a neat mirror piece as ?? came up with, then likely it should be the star and the FP itself should be very similar to or the same as the wall color - whatever that ends up being. WT's should be pretty much last on the list although they will need to co-ord with your wall color. Being as I am, I wouldn't even consider that item until all the other pieces were pretty clear to me AND the FC was recovered and back home. Think coffee table definitely needs the deeper stain but you seem quite willing to do so and certainly have the talent so really that is a non-issue. Think I'd like to see the (fully repaired) wonderful FC in front of the window also, particularly once it has a dramatic punchy fabric on it. It really is a *star piece* and should be the first thing one sees when entering the room. Think I'd like to see the wood on the half wall stained darker with Tomato Sofa against that wall. Well I've said enuf -- likely you're thinking *more than*. BG's I absolutely LUV LUV that Tomato fabric! On our gloomy (and presently extremely windy here) PNW days, that color is going to be soooo warm and friendly/cozy. I will suggest that you don't have a Victorian home so use this yummy unique furniture as a bold statement rather than an attempt at truly period stuff. I don't often weigh in on threads because my taste is surely not everyone's so pay me no mind at all if it doesn't suit you. :-)) Happy Xmas Holly