My stepmother was crazy and paranoid long before she ever came into my family. She has a pattern of behavior that we have traced back more than 40 years, involving four different husbands (three of whom she lied about when she met my dad). She lied to get my dad to marry her; then viciously moved to manipulate, lie, cheat and deceive in order to isolate and mentally abuse my dad for the past five years. In doing so, she has estranged him from his mother, his siblings, his friends, his children, his grandchildren and even his faith. We have repeatedly attempted to get her help, which she refuses at every juncture. And yet you scold me for being "happy" to see my dad's marriage falling apart. She has nearly wrecked his health and completely ruined his relationships with everyone. She keeps him in mental isolation and verbally abuses him. I not only fear for his sanity, I fear for his safety should the marriage continue indefinitely. The best thing that could happen is not for this marriage to fall apart, for that would hurt my father even more, but for her to accept that she needs help. You can't begin to know how much pain she has caused my family. In fact, she does have several confidantes, but has lost several others because of her irrational behavior. In fact, one of the women with whom she made a connection abruptly severed ties. When questioned as to why, she said her son, who is a psychiatrist, met my stepmother and subsequently advised his mother that my stepmother exhibits paranoid and psychotic symptoms. No one can force her to go into treatment, though. My compassion for her extends to hoping she gets the help she needs, but having been the target of her brutal attacks and manipulations over the years, I have no interest or desire to ever be in the same room with her again. And I don't need to apologize to you, her or anyone else for my feelings. Here is a link that might be useful: Bullying in the family

Susan, you still have a cute little face. Dave always has his "critters" pose. He won't tell me how he gets them to do that. He must be a "critter whisperer". Linda

It is a very handsome oligophylum. I had one a few years ago but auctioned it off. Looking at yours makes me think that was not the right choice.

Oakley, I am sorry you feel ignored. You sent your note in the wee hours Thurs. I read it at 7:30am Friday morning but was rushing to get into work early and didn't have time to post. Friday evening was hectic and I did a couple of hit and run responses. But every time I started to post, the phone rang. I am so sorry I missed a response to you. (((Oakley))) Yeah, I did say that my experience was different-- but that was in response to Ded's question about what eye to look at. You said no one looked at your lazy eye.. but I had a very different experience. I guess all my responses to this thread have been pretty self absorbed. This is a major focus in my life right now... and though I opened up here (and with some in my real life), it's one I am mostly dealing with alone. I have fears of what if it doesn't work.. what if the lenses are crazy thick.. will I be able to drive when I am transitioning between regular and prism lenses.. will I screw up my job prospect because there are two interviewers and one eye? As I have said, I have a lot of anxiety rolled in with my eye issue. It's not that I don't care about you or the other people dealing with the same or worse... I am just very much in my own head. I am VERY glad to hear you will be going to the Dr too. I am sorry that you have been affected as I have. Please do make an appointment and let us know how it goes! You can reach out to me privately if you like.. And I am sorry to anyone else who I missed responding to. I am SO appreciative of everyone's responses. Your encouragement and kind wishes for a good outcome mean the world to me. I am especially appreciative of those who shared their own experiences.. and those who are spurred to go to the doctor.