Dear Paigect, I am another one of those - former stepchild/stepmother. I didn't like my stepfather for a while, but figured things out when I grew up and we had a great relationship before he died of cancer. My first dad was dead when I got him, so there wasn't any wishing to get back together stuff. What role do you think you could play in putting an end to your son's fantasy of you 2 getting back together? Do you think that you could actually help the situation? Or do you just want your ex to be the one to deal with it? I take it you aren't remarried yourself. If you are truly trying to get your son happy and able to have a relationship with his dad- you could help. If your son acts out and is disrespectful to his stepmother and you condone it and blame it on the fantasy and her - you are giving him a message that he can be disrespectful to adults if he chooses not to like them. Do you see that? I have one stepson who is like that, and I have another one who I adore and he a loves me. The difficult one has done things that would curl your hair - choked his girlfriend, stole his dad's gun and got arrested 3 days out of marine boot camp, run around naked, at 16, holding his penis out in front of 10 year old girls thinking he's funny, wrecked cars- twice in one weekend one time, threatened me, runaway and left horrid notes blaming me numerously, got beat up at school for running his mouth and needed to be taken to the med station a number of times, stole his dad's 300.00 fish finder and lost it, lying, partying and skipping school, bad grades, no job, the list goes on and on. When do you say enough is enough? His hell bent goal was to get his dad to divorce me so he could be in charge. He wanted to run things. He blames me for joining the Marines -claims he wanted to get away from me. Now he hates it and it is all my fault. It will be my fault if he gets hurt too. He isn't responsible for any part of our bad relationship or his choices, is he? I am just supposed to take it, the blame and the horrid behavior. His room is a mess from the last time he was home - including used rubbers and half eaten candy bars stuck to the carpet. Oh by the way, his carpet is ruined, there are holes in the walls and his mattress is all chopped up - the new one I bought for him when we moved into our house together. That is all my fault too. Some kids just aren't nice. I must be doing something right though - his brother loves me like crazy. And now you can call me an evil stepmother like he does. Or you can realize that some of us have come to the end of our ropes and patience. You know what? I honestly hold my husband responsible, along with my stepson, for his behavior. If my husband hadn't made excuses for him, made him accountable for his actions and made him take some responsibility, he wouldn't have turned out as bad as he did. I have 2 of my own kids in the house too. They are not bad kids and respect my husband. My ex is out of the picture. It is like I have 3 kids and he has the one. I don't want to leave my husband, because then I couldn't keep my stepson who loves me. The older one is out of the house in the Marines now and it is a whole different household. There is peace. It isn't the his kids vs mine thing. Sure they all pull stuff. But I can discipline now and no one accuses me of being mean and targeting the step kid and other rubbish. It is fair. And there is respect and love that goes both ways. That is the most important thing. No I couldn't respect my older stepson. His repeated behavior wouldn't facilitate it. Every time it would seem to get better - he would pull something and some how he would turn it around and someone else was to blame. Usually me. Yes I am relieved he is in the marines. No, as a matter of fact, I clearly stated I didn't want him to join. He doesn't have good sense and I am afraid for him. But there is a peace in the house. Except of course for my husband. He blames me that his son is gone. But you know what - he is the one who could have refused to let him join. He is the one who could have talked him out of it. He had the influence and the power. Not me. Master manipulator that kid is, huh. Oh, by the way - the boys mother killed herself 3 years ago. She was a drug addict, convicted of embezzlement too. Her choices caught up with her and that was her answer. Now her son is going down her path. I am scared to death for him. I wish someone could help him, but I clearly can't. Maybe the marines will. And when he grows up, maybe he will figure out I wasn't that bad and we can have some sort of relationship. No I won't hold my breath though - I don't want to die, already had that scare with ovarian cancer. Life is too short to be that miserable. Until you walk in someone elses shoes, be careful how you judge them. Some of us have had waaaayyyyy too much to handle with perfect grace. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. That is the path of a stepmother.

Do not download the new messenger app for your smartphone! I deleted mine. I gave all my trusted friends my cell # so they can phone me or text me. I also put a QR code on my FB for my BBM so I can be reached that way. I will not use FB Messenger anymore on my phone. It's gone. Here is a link that might be useful: Why you shouldn't use the FB messenger app on your smartphone

Justerrilynn, we had a similar incident early on. My husband's coworker tested positive, and the person from whom she believes she was infected died in April from the virus. He was a policeman. I hope your husband, his coworker (and you!) are all OK. That set a tone for my family. We self-quarantined strictly for 2 weeks, and since then have taken the attitude that masks and distancing are our responsibility. We are all healthy, do not have medical issues, and are not considered high risk. (Me, perhaps... by age but I don't have any conditions.) If we get or have had the virus, we would likely recover. But if "essential" workers who serve me food, bag my groceries, etc. all are required to wear masks, then I'm going to wear one, too. Just out of decency and respect. People can call me a sheep or fear monger or whatever term they're using to justify their own actions. My young adult kids have been socializing with friends outdoors, and I'm not always there to monitor them. But I've at least set an example and hope they're being mindful. (I believe they are, and we talk about it.) Moving forward, I will fully support businesses who enforce their employees and customers to wear mask and practice safety measures. I have been especially pleased with Costco, Trader Joe's, Aldi and a local meat market--which has been going above and beyond despite some of the clientele who I suspect would otherwise choose not to abide. There are many businesses, though, that I'll stay away from permanently. Simply because in observing their measures, it's difficult to tell what phase we are in because so little is being enforced. (And this applies to some friends and acquaintances, too, unfortunately.)

Oh, no! Seagrass, come back! I don't understand why they won't let you just put your name in. Maybe you could put another name, that isn't the Houzz number, and sit with it for a day or two, and if it sticks, try to Seagrass again? I can help you with the pictures. Basically, if you have a picture in your computer or other device, you can use the "Photo" button, and browse your photos, find the right one, select it and have it upload automatically. In a mobile device, you have to save to your photos an internet picture or take a screen shot of it, then upload it the same way. On a computer you can sometimes paste the URL into the photo upload dialog box where the name of the photo goes, and it'll sort of temporarily save to your computer and upload it automatically, which saves you having to save it first. Some websites don't want you using their pictures this way and prevent it for working off their URL. Don't do any of this with pictures you're unsure if. Nasty stuff can hide in pictures. Taking a screen shot, trimming and saving it is safer. If you need more specific help, just ask.