Right now companies know they don't have to offer much when there are so many unemployed, which is the reason unions are so important. I truly don't know how some people make it--they cut every corner they can and still there isn't enough. And then there's the price of gas, driven up by the speculators. Time to pay attention to what's going on in politics!

Salgal, would she feel badly if you led her to some organizations that can help out, maybe with a weekly bag of groceries?

Her church probably has a food pantry and can offer other help. But that may be a bit too personal for her. If only she could find a way to work from home or sell some craft work. My sister-in-law makes good money with her knitting and things. Of course then there's the cost of materials.

Even in that situation, there are options.

Has she looked into the many forms of help available for lower income people to help pay their utility bills? Of course, if you want to help, you could put something on their bill for them, I suppose you could do it annonymously.

If her husband's hours have been cut, can't she get an evening job? Something opposite the times he works? Lots of families do that--when my niece was young, my DB worked nights, SIL worked days for many years, so they didn't have to rely on others to care for their daughter. And if she got an entry-level job (fast food, waitressing, retail) who cares if she gets called away? Those jobs don't need to go on one's resume anyway, and I'd have no problem walking away from one, if that situation occurred.

Would it work out to invite them over for dinner now and then? (of course sending them home with leftovers) or would that just make her feel like she owed you a social obligation?

Now, obviously, I don't know your friends, nor their lifestyles--and her problems may be (and probably are) legitimate. But do be cautious. More often than not, I'm sorry to say, when I've seen people who are in the kind of straits you describe, the economy isn't the entire reason. Often there are addictions (drugs, alcohol, spending, gambling), or poor planning, or just carelessness that have contributed to the problem. You can help someone who is down on their luck, but rarely can you help someone effectively who causes their own bad luck. I know no one wants to think badly of their friends and family, but be cautious about offering too much help, unless they're willing to help themselves.

I think that raising children IS a fulltime job and raising a special needs kid must be overwhelming at times.
There may be opportunities for her and her husband to team up on short term jobs that bring in money though.
Could she babysit from time to time? or could they pet sit? Around here, the kennels always fill up at the holidays and Spring Break and most people don't want to kennel unless they have to it.
Best thoughts for your friend, Salgal.

She is really trying to find part-time work. We talked about babysitting..she is not overly excited about that...I think she wants to get away from the kids for a little. I mentioned cleaning houses - it would be easy to cancel on short notice if she explains her situation up front.
I have known this family for years...they have always struggled, especially after their 2nd was born (she is a sweetheart!). She applies for any benefits related to their daughter, but is pretty reluctant to ask for anything more.
She broke down with me, but she is the type of person that would so much rather give than receive...her thoughts being that someone is always worse off than they are (and she is right).
I think it must be so very tiring, week after week worrying so much about money.

I think this summer I will invite her to help me with my canning and freezing...payment being food to take home.

Salgal -

My dh and I know someone in a similar situation - we try to help with clothing and food when we can & over the summer we honestly need help in the garden and yard. I hope I do not offend anyone - we pay the dad for his work for us (under the table). It probably "nets" him $150 per month from April to October and if we need some help moving furniture or something at other times we call him. We did not know them as friends previously. We have gotten to know him & his family & I think we are helping.

Sal Gal, Your idea about sharing the labor and the bounty of your canning and freezing is such a great idea.
You are a very good friend.

I don't know how you are financially yourself, but I would buy gift certificates to a grocery store or Walmart and send it to them with no return address....and if you know of any mutual friends, you might see if they would like to share in doing something for them also.

I like phoggie's idea. Hopefully she will be able to find a job, but until then a little help will go a long way.

Has she looked into working from home? I know a lot of people who work from home in legitimate jobs.

There are quite a few jobs that she may be able to do...customer service, blogging, etc. Look through the wah jobs at indeed.com from rat race rebellion. Here's a link to that:

Here is a link that might be useful: http://ratracerebellion.com/indeed.html

The question is whether they'll accept the help they might need to solve the issue instead of the symptoms. I cringe when I hear people talk about coupons to "save money". Coupons make you spend money. Often buy more than you need and you could have just bought store brand cheaper. Also shopping clearance items. Cleaners and H&B items are nearly always on clearance. The big saving is not spending. Do they make needless trips? Do they live on convenience foods? There's a myriad of ways to salvage the budget, especially with a stay at home parent who can do some of the things in the house to save the budget. Examine every penny spent for a couple months. Then look to cut. That's probably the best place to help. The old adage about give 'em a fish or teach 'em to fish.

My best to them. I know what hard times can be.

So many questions, and no right answer. Lots of good ideas. How old is the one with Down's Syndrome? Many children can be put into head start classes for children with special needs. My GGS, age 5 has been in one for 2 years. He is Autistic. What training does she have? Is there other relatives that are willing to help out? Like Cynic said, coupons are good, but only if you can use the product. I buy lots of products that are store brand names. There are food pantries that are avaiable. Also those places sometime need help maybe just one day or so a month. Could her husband get an additional job? or training for a different one? I wish her family the best.

that's what i was going to suggest...look for school related jobs, esp if the special needs child is already in one..it might start out as volunteering in the child's class...or noon duty aids...that's about 2 hours a day...

Not sure if this will help but this is what I do for a living. I am a vendor/merchandiser. There is a great site called NARMS.com You can put in your state and what type of job you are looking for and search for jobs that way, or you can put up your profile and the companies call you. I have worked doing this for about 9 years now. I work for several different companies. Some are monthly jobs, some are on going, some are once in a while. You can pick your own schedule with some. You can change your schedule last minute on some jobs. There are secret shopper jobs, she can even do with the kids along. Just don't pay anyone for info or filling out applications. Most jobs are, you just tell them what you can do and they call you.

There are many jobs out there, just have to look. I started out doing books and magazines at one grocery store, two times a week. That lead me to getting to know the workers there and the manager asked if I wanted to do other type of jobs and put me in touch with a company I worked for now, for amost 10 years. I love it. If I am sick one morning, I can call the store and reschedule whatever I am doing that day.( I have RA and never know when a flare will happen) It is great for me. I have brought in more than 20 grand in a year. You work as much or as little as you want. Most companies will train you, so no worries there. Just have to get your foot in the door.

INDEED.com is another good site for local jobs in your area. From Child care, to nursing jobs on there. Even corporate jobs. I often tell people about both of those sites.

example, one job I just started, I go into one store once a week and fill up candy bulk containers.... make an order. 12 bucks an hour.... I pick when I go in....

Just an example.

Good luck to her and you are being a good friend trying to help.

If one harvest food ministries is available in their area that may be of interest to them. It is not free but very reduced priced box of food monthly. They are spreading to more areas so if not now it may be some day.

Here is a link that might be useful: one harvest