Thank you all for your replies. I would rather have waited till tomorrow and see what else y'all might think of, but Bob wanted to get on with the program and not wait until the last minute. You know the routine ... So I stopped in at Big Lots first since it is closest to my house and they had some very nice wood and iron benches, sturdy, and with a nice design on the back for $50. It looks like it's worth much more than that. Bob is putting it together now. So that's going to be it ... Thanks again for the good suggestions.

Is this their first apartment together, or is she moving in with him into his apartment? Guess it doesn't really matter, as I wouldn't go at all, nor would I send a gift. I don't care that I'd seem to be an 'old fogie'...the mother is of our generation for cryin' out loud!! It's in very bad form. I worked in a very small, tight-knit group and one of the support staff was pregnant with her 3rd child. Our section threw her a shower at work and invited other divisions to attend also. A few people got her nice outfits, but no one got her the new car seat, crib, stroller, bedding, etc that had been 'suggested'. In fact, the majority of the people who actually attended didn't bring anything. And fewer than a dozen people came by anyway. It didn't make things weird around the office and she didn't act put out by the lack of gifts or attendance. She seemed to be happier that her closest co-worker threw the party more than anything else. So, bottom line, I wouldn't attend this event, even if you did say yes at the initial email. Simply say something has come up (you have to give yourself a pedicure, that is something!!) and say have a good time. No gift, no apologies, no hard feelings. Her few brainless buddies (and mama) will attend and she'll get a few ridiculous gifts and be over it. Save your guilty conscience for the wedding. (insert sarcasm here!)

"One rule of thumb is never try to decorate someone else's home. Chances are you won't get it right. Lamps, pictures, indoor plants, ugly cookie jars are out." And speaking of ugly cookie jars, make sure you remember that your idea of a truly adorable cookie jar may well make your recipient want to ralph. (The THS chicken fetish comes to mind... LOL Teasing!) It all boils down to one thing: Know thine recipient! Best housewarming gifts I've gotten were gift cards to the closest hardware store, because there's invariably the "oh drat I need picture hangers/batteries for the smoke detectors/light bulbs/extra keys cut!" When the giver's cash was short, help with the manual-labor part of unpacking and getting settled in has always been MOST appreciated. bumblebeez, if you're sick of gift cards you can send 'em right on over to me anytime. ;-)

Thank you all so much! I riffed off Beagles’ suggestion and included many others: I found a basket at HomeGoods that can eventually hold towels, toilet paper, magazines, etc. Lined it with four nice kitchen towels (including one that says “Meals and Memories are made here”). Purchased a nice frame and included the following poem printed on parchment: Bread that your cupboards will always be full, (Gift Certificate to Ulele – ML that was an amazing suggestion – and likely one they wouldn’t find on their own any time soon) Candle that your home will always have light, (Voluspa ‘Maison Blanc – Saijo Persimmon’ Candle) Coin that you may dwell in good fortune, ($200 Home Depot Gift Card – they already have a lawn mower, but will need a weed eater once we help them install a fence for their dogs) Honey and Salt that life shall always have sweetness and flavor, (Orange Blossom Honey from Florida – if they like it that will make a terrific and inexpensive gift for them to send to family members at Christmas; also found some smoked sea salt and pepper & garlic seasoned sea salt that sounded useful and interesting) Wine that joy and prosperity may reign forever. (bottle of pinot grigio – I had to google wine that beer drinkers would like since they have yet to acquire a wine drinker’s palate!) Although married over 30 years, DH and I do well remember those first days of needing SO much. However, DS/DDIL have been married for three years (first lived in an apartment and then military quarters at previous assignments) so have most of the staples and furniture already. This is their first home purchase – driven mostly by the fact that it’s cheaper to buy in Tampa than rent and the waiting list for military quarters is 10 months’ long. I don’t think this will be their forever home but – you never know! We definitely plan to purchase and plant a tree during our first visit – and now I know to bring a new broom as well! OT @runningplace: my stepfather recently passed away after a very unexpected, painful, violent, and unnecessary illness (he and mom were married for 47 years)… you have given me clarification on how my DH can craft boxes for all of DSF’s (12!) grandchildren with the rough milled wood we brought home from his shop milled from a cherry tree in their front yard. Coordinates – perfect! Thanks again, everyone – you are truly awesome! My best, Michele