Have you listed your husbands birth information on all of the adoption reunion registries in the States? That is the first place to start.

I don't know how it works in the States but you should be able to get non-identifying information about your husband's birth family. The adoption reunion registry can point you in the right direction there. This information may tell you how old the parents were at the time of his birth and also occupations of both parents and grandparents. How many siblings they had. The parents hobbies and interests, general appearance and other tidbits that help in a search.

Have you an obituary notice about your own father? Was he married to any of your half brothers mothers at the time of their births?

I have done many adoption searches in Canada but none in the States. I found that adoptees are more emotionally prepared for a reunion if they work along in the search with someone else rather than leaving it all up to a detective to do the search for them. Going over possible scenarios with someone else help get in touch with feelings.

I wish you well in your search for answers.

I found a sister my mom had given up for adoption at the link below. Also found a brother I hadn't seen in about 20 years at the same link.

Here is a link that might be useful: The Seeker

Hi Ladies,

Heather, I just registered his info on Adoption.com There was nothing listed for a boy born on May 30, 1962 in Cumberland, MD. I guess time will tell. Do you think it would be worth the money to get the paid version?

I don't see my DH being too emotional over the parents, but he does want to know their names. He says he's "known" since he was a tiny boy that he has a brother, "out there somewhere." He has always felt a need to find this brother. It's never lessened.

The woman who adopted/raised him threatened him with great bodily harm, abandonment, rage, etc. if he ever dared to mention "those other people" or any brothers. It's 52 years later and her views haven't changed. She will rage and roar if she hears the word "adopted."

---
I found my father's info on a Social Security death notice site. I know he was married to the younger sons' mother when they were born, but I don't know her name.

Angelaid - Thanks, I'll try the Seeker site, too.

Caroline, send me a message through my page here on Garden Web and give me whatever information you have. I have a full membership at Ancestry.com and will find whatever I can for you. No charge.

I can't tell you if it is worthwhile paying or not Caroline. I do know that the group I worked with would reunite whether or not either party joined the membership. If there was a match with both parties searching, then we helped. I would tell you to search all the adoption reunion websites/groups and give them your husbands details. Do you know if it was a public or private adoption? In Canada, Children's Aid Societies gave out the non- identifying information.

Google Adoption Reunion Registries and you will come up with a few. Soundex is a place to register as well. A lot of babies went to the States from Canada. Different religions like Jewish and Catholics also had their own adoption agencies. A few States now have opened up where adoptees can get all their birth information.

I don't know if this is true for all provinces, but Ontario now has an open system where adoptees can apply for all birth information. They will get it unless the birth mother has refused to allow it to be given out. It was up to the birth mother to contact the government and tell them she did not wish it.

I'm rusty, it has been about twenty years since i did searches.

Here's a site where the people volunteer to do the word for you free. Good luck.

Here is a link that might be useful: link

Lindsey, I sent you an email!

Thanks everyone; I've gotten such good info here. I'll give it my best shot using all the named sources before resorting to the detective.

The area where DH was born, adopted, and raised is a rural center in western Maryland. You can stand in one spot and practically touch West Virginia, Maryland, and Pennsylvania.

He's almost certain the birth family was from West Virginia. Once we saw his birth name he said that area of WV next to Cumberland had many families with the same name as his. He knows several of the older men with the same name, and even belonged to some of the same civic organizations, Scouts, and hunting groups with them.

He also said his adopted mother, ever since he was a young child, would allude to those "worthless West Virginians" and say things like "they were too dumb to be allowed to have children."

("Too dumb" is her blanket statement for anyone that is not of her race, heritage, religion, political group, home town,and background. Oh; she hates me, on every level! LOL)

As a boy of six or seven, he brought up the idea that he thought "he had a brother and would love to know him." She went ballistic; said she wasn't about to tell him anything about 'those people', and "what good would it be to have a brother anyway?" He never brought the brother issue up to her again.

She never tried to hide his adoption from him, but she would never share any info while berating him for being "the wrong child" to adopt.

It's just a sad, sad story. He is distant from her, but calls her weekly. He is respectful and does his best to let her berating and barbs roll off his back. He's a "dutiful' son who would have loved to been allowed to be a loving son, both to her and his other family.

While my southern upbringing won't allow me to speak my mind, I will shut her up when she goes too far.

This sounds like waay too much emotion/anger/hatred for a simple, arms-length adoption.

wonder if his adoptive mother had a younger sister who was fond of those worthless people...

If I were looking, I'd definitely look in that direction.

I wish you all the best.

Oh we did, Silvia, but both sisters were 8-10 years older than MIL, and were long married before MIL even graduated. Then it was another 15+ years after that before she adopted.

It is a lot of anger. She expected "her son" to be the best at everything. Once he was a few months old she was very disappointed - as in angry - that his hair was "too thin." He didn't walk soon enough. He could not read at age 3. His first, 1st grade report card had a B+. She was horrified; she confronted the teacher wanting to know why her son did not have the best grades in the school. Didn't they know who "they" (she and her husband) were? She wouldn't accept that a B+ for a little first grader was wonderful. He still remembers how scared he was at her screaming fit when she saw the card; she didn't speak to him for more than a week because of that B+. I'm sure she never made a B+ in her life. She glories in her inattention to any education.

The disappointments only grew. By age 7 he wanted to fish, and hunt, and join the Scouts. He was a military buff by the third grade. He never had a desire to be a lawyer/congressman. Can you imagine the ingratitude of that child?

I asked her once why she decided to adopt at such a late age. She said "Mr. and Mrs. A" were "the most prominent people in town. They adopted; so we adopted."

Since childhood she has always been trying to keep up with the Jones, and following the herd no matter what.

I hope to think that in today's world adoptive parents have to go through some sort of suitably screening.

I'm proud of my now 52-year old husband; retired military and now a civil servant in a high-stress job, two degrees, interested in everything, and still trying to be "a good son" to a woman that wouldn't know "good" if it kicked her in the backside.

She's still disappointed in his life.

Dod.

sounds like "Mommy Dearest".

Caroline, I don't have any help/advice to offer, but I'd LOVE to know what you find out. Very interesting "story" (to bad it's your dh's real life!). You could write a book!

Please keep up informed. (on YOUR story too!)

If there's a light at the end of my quest for his family I'll be sure to update. It's just so little to work with. Knowing MIL knows the names and situation just makes it more sad.

A few years back he was tested for a blood disorder that is similar to sickle cell, but usually targets people of Mediterranean descent. I can't remember the name. Two tests showed he was carrying it; one test said he wasn't. His doctor wanted his birth family history.

I explained the problem to MIL. I described the illness and sent her a flyer. I told her it would help the doc if he could see Wes' family history.

Her response? "If he didn't know he was adopted he wouldn't know to try to find those people anyway." I asked her "if his life depends on finding the other parents, would you tell him thier names?"

She said "No." "I am his mother and I won't allow him to know anyone else."
I won't detail my reaction; it was not kind.

I am not making this up - I cannot imagine such jealous venomous thoughts.

still trying to be "a good son" to a woman that wouldn't know "good" if it kicked her in the backside.

wow, exceptional credit to hubby in all this. I wish you all the luck in being able to piece together this negative challenge.

Well, you motivated my keyboard to some diversion activity this afternoon, but unfortunately, nothing related to your immediate questions. It's easy to get side-tracked, and did so with your "STUBBS". Anthia was the 3rd wife of Lee Washington Collins, and they had 8 children.
Anthia's grandfather was married to two different Collins women (sisters??). The 1st wife left him, and married his brother! The 2nd wife produced 3 children., one being Anthia's father. She was one of 8 children.
The name goes back to England, 1480. Or, Anthia's 13th great grandfather.
Good luck on the rest of your hunt.

Caroline,

The message I received from you indicated that you don't want your e-mail address revealed, so I cannot reply privately to you. Be that as it may, I have hit nothing but dead ends on your husband's information. When a child is adopted and the adoptive parents give the child a new name, a new birth certificate is issued with the new name, showing the adoptive parents as the parents, etc., so I haven't been able to find anything from 1962 that shows the birth name you provided for your husband. I can't find anything for a male child born on that date at that location. I'm sorry.

You should have more luck with the adoption web sites. You should also consider contacting whatever attorney took over the practice of the adoption attorney.

Thank you so much Lindsey and OldFixer. I changed the settings and your emails should go through.

I'll send each of you private messages tomorrow

Just in case I'm at Caroline94535@yahoo.com

OldFixer-I sent the email! I had a Herlius Collins b. 1924 as a brother to Basil. That could be the Herlin you found. Their parents are the same.

I'm sure I'll, someday, find my brothers. I only hope I can find something for my DH. He needs a sense of belonging somewhere.

Any other names you may recognize from the link below? (It was created by the same person as that email address.)

Here is a link that might be useful: Collins Obits

Here is one possibility found at Ancestory.com via Google.
**************

Basil Odell Collins

Found 10 Records, 10 Photos and 4,140,090 Family Trees

Born in Gainesville, Missouri, USA on 1 Apr 1930 to Lee Washington Collins and Anthia Elizabeth Stubbs. Basil Odell married Private and had a child. He passed away on 9 Jul 1992 in Anderson, Shasta, California, USA.

Family Members

Parents
âÂÂLee Washington Collins1884-1953
âÂÂAnthia Elizabeth Stubbs1896-1935

Spouse(s)

Children

Your next step would be to find an obituary notice in a newspaper from the city he died. Newspapers are on microfiche found in many libraries. Some librarians will even look up the information for you as long as you give them the details, date of death etc. You can find out the funeral home, where they are buried etc.

Did you get the email I sent you?

Hi Heather! I did: did you receive my answer?

As soon as it's "my turn" to get on the big computer, I'll be sending you and OldFixer both updates. It's slow posting from an iPod 4! LOL

I'm getting nothing but brick walls on Wes' adoption, but you'll be amazed what OF has found on my father's family, including the names of my four new brothers! I had been told as a child the older one might be "Stephen.". Well in reality he is "Jeff." There is also a "Rocky", "Toney," and "Will;" all younger than I.

I just hope I find a sibling for Wes, too. It's not fair that I now have 8 brothers all for myself.

No Caroline. I did not receive your answer. I wonder if I typed my email to you correctly. I will email you again.

Hope the two obits helped. They looked like a gold mine of names! So we've got gramma Stubbs taken care of, back to 1480. Let's try Lee Collins. Your dad had 3 step-brothers by his 1st marriage. Lee had 2 siblings, and three step-siblings. Your great-gpa appears to be Ezekial Collins (1856-1911), who was one of seven children. Your great-gma, for this case, would be his 2nd wife, Rebecca Ann Hudson, and were married in 1883.
Your great-great-gpa seems to be Solomon Collins, JR. (1856 - ?), B: Tennessee. Great-great-gma would then be Melvina Pittman (2nd wife).
No record, but if Solomon is a JR, would one assume his father, your great-great-great-gpa, is a Solomon SR.?

Are you penciling down all these clues into a paper tree? You've got work to do with this mob. Can I take a break now? If it were possible, I'd sneak off to Red Lobster and celebrate with you. Happy Hunting.

Caroline, if you haven't done it yet, your husband should check out this link to obtain non- identifying information.

Here is a link that might be useful: Non-identifying information Maryland

Coming in late to this discussion but one thing I would certainly do is start a tree at ancestry.com. You can make one for free. It's amazing the little things you can get for free there if you learn to read carefully. Another free site is familysearch.com although they've 'improved' it so much I rarely go there any more. You could make two trees; one for each of you, or one tree and use one of your children to build from. I've done it both ways and for me, making one tree was easier. It was a lot more people but only one tree to keep track of. Something else, you can get a free two week trial at ancestry and search 24/7 for the two weeks. I would look at the family trees there for hints and clues and if you are really lucky you might find a tree with the right people on it. You could contact any tree owner and if they want to they can answer you. On thing - if you do connect with other tree owners, move your email correspondence to your personal email account. Then you'll still be able to correspond after your free trial expires.

FYI there is nothing more annoying to someone who has spent years and $$$ on research to have someone say, " Tell me everything you know about Jo Smyth. He's my ggrandfather." Start out with one or at most two questions. Your conversation will evolve and they will volunteer more information but a demand for everything they know is a turn off.

double post

This post was edited by lov_mkitchen on Thu, Mar 13, 14 at 21:04

Forgive me for being late for posting. I've had an evil "bug" since Feb. 11, and after posting this it reared its ugly head again. After three bouts of different antibiotics and steroids, I'm slowly recovering.

THANK YOU all, from the bottom of my heart, for all the wonderful info you found, the sites and links you shared, and all the hints and tips.

Those of you that emailed me will be getting more thanks, but for now I just want to let you know how appreciated you are.

Heather, Old Fixer, JemDandy, Lindsey, I'll be sharing what I've found soon.

After a lifetime of knowing next-to-nothing about the Collins' side of my family I'm learning so much. Best of all, I have names of the four brothers so that will be my first search, finding them.

When I told Wes a grandmother's line was traced back to 1480 in England he said, "Well, maybe you're a Princess afterall." I told him, "Of course I'm a Princess; I just now have proof!" LOL Princess of the Pea Fields, or Countess of the Chicken Coop!

As soon as I'm feeling better I'm joining Ancestry and another site.

I'm still hitting brick walls on DH's adoption, but I'm keeping positive. He knows I'm looking, but he never asks about it.

Ancestry just had a special. Go ahead and join when you are up to it but cancel as soon as your 14th day rolls around. In the meantime, after you've made a free account somewhere is the option to sign up for the free newsletter and I think it's a different box to check for specials. Read everything on the subscribe page so you don't miss it. They don't send a lot of mail and the newsletter is very worthwhile. There will probably be a 6 month world special for $99. If you don't need access to anything outside of the U.S. I would just go with a discovery subscription. I caution you about the ancestors who have been traced back to 1400. You will HAVE to do your own detective work to be sure you have the right people. You always start with yourself and work backwards. Finding one family with joe as the husband and mary as the wife and they have a boy jim and a girl sally is not going to be good enough. You have no idea how many people have those names, even in the same place. And the farther back you go, the harder it is because the census didn't require the name of everyone in the household until 1850. Before that it was head of household and hash marks in age and sex columns. It's not as easy as it looks on TV.

I do want you to keep your enthusiasm but I don't want you to think this will be solved in a year or two. My cousins have elected me chief researcher because I'm more careful than they are. They run things by me that they've found for me to fact check. I'm trying not to put my arm out of joint patting myself on the back but I want you to go into this knowing it's going to be a lot of fun work! Get yourself some three ring binders at the Salvation Army or Goodwill. Next time Staples has a case of paper on sale, buy it. Get some cheap ink from Amazon.com. Print everything that you think fits most of the parameters of your search. It's a lot easier to print it now than find it again later. Citations. If you haven't heard it yet, you will. I didn't do it when I started because I was "only" going to look up my grandmother on my dad's side. Well, let me give you the best piece of advice I can think of. When you save something, make sure you write on it where you found it and everything else so that if you were to look for it the next month you would be able to pull that sheet out and know exactly where you found that information. After I got serious I had to go back and do it all over again. Not fun!

Second thing, and you could do this now, subscribe to some genealogy blogs. There are so many you will find a few you like. You probably won't understand what they're talking about until you do some research yourself but in a short while you will. And they know where the other resources are. Ancestry has a youtube channel full of tutorials. Go there and watch a few.

Have your eyes glazed over? It happens to everyone I talk to!!

According to California, Basil married Linda R. Morrison on 1 April 1971 in Shasta.
You bet you've got work to do.
What's the "secret name" people are looking for in 1962?

Special from Ancestry for Monday. Explore your heritage with FREE ACCESS to select Irish collections this St. Patrick's Day.
It won't cost anything to go there and see what you can get for free. You will probably have to sign up for an account but it's free, too. Be aware that anything you put on a tree at ancestry is fair game for others and ancestry. I decided it was a fair trade off for the benefits to me. There is no such thing as a free lunch.

This girl is now on a roll with ancestor data, and current new family data. Let's wish her all the luck and hard work now to move forward and make those connections. KT will probably have some exciting new posts on the journey. We'll be watching.

Ancestry had a really wonderful special in today's newsletter. I don't know how to direct you to it or if it's for members or what. I'm not going to resubscribe because I don't like the recent changes they made to their search format. Since you don't know how it used to work, you should be fine. I am annoyed. In the past ancestry.com has given me the sale price when I procrastinated one day too many to take advantage of a special. You could ask them if you could try a membership for $49. One more hint. Buy a gift membership to give yourself. When it expires, it's done; no automatic renewal.

U.S. Discovery
Explore your American heritage with detailed records and photos from all 50 states.

⢠Trace your unique American family story
⢠Grow an interactive family tree online

6-month membership

$49* ($99 SAVE 50%)

and don't forget the Mormon church records...

Well, in addition to her Grandma going back to England, there are new clues pointing to her COLLINS also going back to England, 1640. Yup, lots of work here to verify the findings. I agree with Carol's decision to exert current energy on those living siblings, and hold off on Ancestor research for a future date. Dead people aren't going anywhere. Good luck!