Hi Christine, I know Dave is a well respected advisor on these boards, but I have to say I have always been told to steer clear of anything other than Term Life. Thanks... uhh, I think? Hopefully I'm not losing any respect from the lack of financial planning experience from whoever 'always' told you to steer clear of anything other than Term Life. Many people here have also "always" been told to pay off their mortgage as fast as possible, "period," regardless of the risks & harm it can create too. What many have "always" heard is not always so valid. Dave perhaps you could clarify why Universal Life is a good option in general and also specifically in this case? I have been on this site off and on for a very long time, however, I have not read that many posts on this particilar board to know your general philosophy on this. Sure. FIRST off, it is most likely the case that "everyone" who "always" advised you to avoid anything but "term" was specifically talking about buying life insurance for the purpose of the insurance DEATH benefits... not the financial planning features available within certain types of it. For the best death benefits "bang for the buck"... Term life premiums are state regulated, so for the most part you pay for the benefit coverage you get, and nothing more, regardless of the carrier (which is GOOD if what you want is a payoff at death.) Differences in term life premiums are generally quite small, and when one carrier appears to be "cheaper" per $1,000 of benefit than another (i.e. if you Google for 'cheapest term insurance' etc.) its generally because that carrier has less capital reserves to protect its policy-holders, thus less costs... and is thus more at risk of being illiquid... *OR* it fights harder NOT to pay all of the benefits expected when its policies mature, and thereby it has less costs of fulfillment. There are OTHER very important financial benefits to life insurance contracts, however, OTHER than the ultimate payoff of a death benefit at policy maturity. Congress has written legal "tax-shelter" features into the IRS code such that cash values sheltered within properly structured life insurance contracts grow and are harvestable UN-TAXED. Universal Life *IS* a term life policy (underwritten through age 100,) that offers a SEPERATE (un-comingled) cash accumulation account with the unique tax sheltered benefits only available inside cash-value life contracts. (NOTE that this is distictively different from old-fashioned "whole life" contracts that inseperably comingle insurance costs with their cash-values.) For FINANCIAL PLANNING purposes we want the maximum shelter benefits with the LEAST actual insurance coverage we can get away with (since, for this particular purpose, we don't care about death benefits.) The cash account within a Universal policy is allowed to grow tax free (no annual capital gains nor income taxes,) and is allowed to be accessed for spending tax free (via zero-interest policy "loans" which have no repayment requirement until the policy "matures"... aka when the insured dies.) Our OP is concerned about college tuition fund planning. The general strategy with college funding is to take advantage of *ALL* external funding resources (public assistance, grants, loans, and public/private scholarships) *BEFORE* dipping into the family-accumulated funds. THe catch-22 is that *MANY* external funding sources are "means tested." This means that they look at the student's fmaily's financial profile 1st... and if the family has funds in reserves, the external sources DEDUCT those from the support calculations (in essence saying "you guys drain your OWN accounts before we'll offer you any support!") Of course, this is completely contrary to the idea of rewarding those who are responsible... which is the whole point of using Universal Life insurance contracts to accumulate college tuition (and subsequently retirement funding for the parents.) Universal Life policies can also be "owned" by someone other than the person that the policy is insuring (the "insured.") The owner can be grandparents, uncles/aunts, god-parents, seperate trusts, or simply trusted friends. Because the ownership of this accumulation asset can be legally seperated from the student's family balance sheet, the student's family does NOT have to drain all of their own reserves before taking advantage of external educational support resources. PERSONALLY (and professionally,) in regards to actual death benefits... I would probably almost "always" harmonize with whoever else was "always" telling you to avoid anything other than term life. For death benefits (replacement of a parent's income for family support, most commonly,) term is generally the best way to go. For FINANCIAL PLANNING, however... age-100 term life coupled with cash values (in the form of Universal Life,) can be a very sharp strategy from both the tax-shelter perspective, and the avoidance of means-testing punishment of the more financially responsbile. Cheers, Dave Donhoff Leverage Planner

I'm in an Ivy League school, and I've been through all of the financial aid stuff, and just be warned that if you have enough money to cover 4 or more years of it, the school will take as much as they can, and you probably won't get any kind of financial aid outside of merit based scholarships which Ivy League doesn't give out anyway. My family makes about $50,000 a year and my parents didn't save any money at all for my college and I'm paying $1,200 a year to go (the price is $37,000 a year)with grants. I don't know anything about this plan and I think it's wonderful that you want to save up a lot of money for college but you will spend a good chunk if you do. Maybe that's what you want to do, in which case, ignore what i'm saying. At the very least, put it in the parent's name solely. Ivy League and other schools take 35% of child's money and property (savings bonds, stock, even cd's) and 5% of parents. I've just seen so many friends who are paying huge price tags for school because grandparents or parents have saved up for years and years. Since this is a toddler's forum, you still have a while yet =) My recommendation would be once the child is old enough to go to college, put all of the money into a bank account under an aunt, uncle or grandparent's name so it can't be claimed as parent or child property ($150,000 makes a HUGE difference in finacial aid) and then file for financial aid and see what kind of loans and grants and scholarships you can get. Loans don't start gathering interest until 6 months after graduation, at which point you can pay off the loans and still have a pretty little chunk of money for the parents retirement or a new house or something. Just my two cents. I would hate to see people who mean well lose all their hard earned money when these schools are so well endowed themselves. Again, I really don't know anything about the topic of this discussion but I just cringed seeing the amounts people might put away a month.

Thanks everyone for your support. I know I need to leave but I suppose I've always been a sucker to help people. Amber - Thank you for your words. You are right, the only person I can save is myself. I suppose the battle is really working up the courage to say enough is enough. I struggle because I hate hurting people or feeling like I am letting them down but in the same regard I suppose by me doing things for my partner, he will never do anything to help himself or his son. Colleenoz - thank you for your kind words. I never thought about it like the way you put it. Seeing that he could turn like that if something bad happened to me is some what alarming. Because when I think of the answer to something happening to me and would he be there, I can't answer that. And if I can't answer that, then there is a real big problem. LaVerne - Thank you for your comment. Do I want to change? Yes i really do, so I guess I know what I have to do. Reading Lady - Sadly this situation is real, it would be nice if I was making it up but unfortunately I am not. I know everyone on his mother's side has bi-polar and basically have lived their lives in and out of either jails or foster homes. Sometimes I think the cycle can be broken but in the same regards, it's not my responsibility to have hero complex (i.e. trying to save everyone). Let me just say this, I know that none of you know me from a bar of soap, which in turn makes you more truthful. I appreciate your honesty and i thank you for your wisdom. I know everyone goes through hard stages in life, but you are right. If I am not happy with the situation, then only I can change it. I think it's time for me to worry about myself and get back what I want. If I succeed (and I truly hope I do) than please know every little word by each of you contributed to giving me strength. You all really have no idea how much you have put my mind, heart and bank balance at rest.

Gosh I am in the same exact situation. I've lived in my home in an adorable little town in the middle of nowhere for 9 years and my husband has lived here for 12 years before I moved in. My daughter and myself both have asthma. My redneck neighbors moved in back in September right across from us. At first they were burning household trash plastic styrofoam whatever they could find. Because they didn't want to pay for trash pickup... So I informed the police twice. Well now they figured out that it was me that called and every single day all day long they start two separate fires including wood, brush, twigs anything they can find in their yard just to spite me. The sad part is I live in Virginia and it's legal to burn brush wood Etc. These people never put it out it burns all night long I can't go outside, I can't open my windows on a nice cool summer night to enjoy the fresh air....It's absolute hell. It's awful I take my bath, get my makeup on and get all fixed up and then have to walk outside and get my clothes all smelly before going somewhere. My husband works 2nd shift so he's never really here and completely refuses to move. Its to the point where I'm thinking of packing and leaving. Mine and my children's quality of life has diminished because we can't live like normal people and go outside during the summer and have fun because me and my daughter are both so choked up from smoke.. Plus its a migraine trigger for me... I literally have to go to my parents or someone fun just so we can do stuff. I feel completely helpless!! I dread coming home when we do go somewhere. Its such a shame. I asked my neighbor how would you feel if your child or grandchild had asthma and couldn't go outside because of the smoke and he said I'd tell them to go in the house. Its feels like harassment because they do it JUST to upset me. Ugh thanks for reading I had to vent.