I had the same situation with my son. Everytime I wanted to do household chores I'd put him in the playpen with some toys and he would constantly cry, even though he was never out of my sight. I felt so defeated because while I didn't want him to cry, he needed to learn that he can be happy while playing on his own. I wanted to him to trust himself. Then, one day I got a phone call and placed him in the playpen, thinking it would be just for a few minutes. As usual he stayed within my sight. As I talked on the phone he cried and cried. But after a while, he stopped, sat down and started to notice the toy next to him. When the phone call finished I couldn't believe my eyes or ears for that matter, as he was playing quietly with his toy. It was a wonderful growth step for both of us.

You have my sympathy. It's scary when the little ones get those high fevers. I'd offer Pedialyte, popsicles, Gatorade, Kool-aid, juice, Sprite, ginger ale, or anything to keep her hydrated. If you're worried that she's been sick for too long, call your doctor again and talk to one of the nurses. They can advise you as to whether they think your dd should be brought back in. Insist on an appointment if you feel she needs another one. The ER docs are ok in an emergency, but the pediatrician is much better. Did they tell you to give her any Tylenol or Motrin? Those will lower the fever and reduce the achiness. I hesitate to tell you to give her those because recently I've heard doctors want the fever to run its course since it's mother nature's way of getting rid of an infection. Check with the nurse or doctor on that. The 'in' thing to do seems to change every few years. You might try a humidifier to ease some of her congestion from the cold. You didn't ask this part, but I will warn you about letting your child play on any toys in the doctor's office. Don't. Those toys have the germs of almost every sick child who has come through there. I learned the hard way with my first child when we went in for an ear infection and developed RSV a few days later. I hope your little girl starts feeling better.

First, for the record, donethat and organic sherry... I am a woman. And if you take the time to read this entire forum, you will find that most of the posts are by...women. And you will find post after post of "new wives" who "hate", "despise" or "resent" their new husbands children. Their feelings seem to become especially strong after she has "their" baby. I also have several close friends who have married men who had children from a previous marriage. All are educated, attractive, really terrific women who are kind, funny, and well grounded. They are secure women in their own right. I thought with each of them, that if anyone could pull off the role of step-mother, any one of these women had what it takes to pull it off, and do it well. However, like so many women on the forum, they each went on to have children with their new husband, ( a few had a child or two from another marriage) and they quickly got "his" kids out of the house. They could not stand them there. And in each situation, dad is now dad to her kids, and "their new child". These are not awful women. They are terrific women who have many friends, and are generally happy, successful women. I like each of them as people. And I hear "their" side to it all. And I understand. And yet in all of this, there are children that are paying a very painful price for the choices these adults are making. Dad now sees his own kids for an hour or so at mcDonalds for lunch, because his new wife does not want his kids in her home. Kids fathers (or mothers) who now live in someone elses house, and who are now mom or dad to someone elses kids. They no longer seem to belong anywhere. They are now a guest where ever they go. Can you close your eyes and think back to when you were a child, and imagine your mom or dad now living in another house, being a parent to some other kids, and finding your dad's new wife or your mom's new husband hates you and doesn't want you there? Can you imagine as a child what this must feel like? Do you even care to do this, or is it an image you do not want to acknowledge? Read my post..."Lost everything...where is home". It is a true story...and although it is the story of a child I know, it is also the story of many, many children who have lost their family in a divorce. Can you open up your mind to understand that there are many sides to these situations? Can you believe that a woman can behave very poorly when protecting her new nest? Perhaps not you, but what about the woman your ex-husband marries? Is she wonderful with "your" children, or is she protecting her new turf, and picking on your kids for everything? That is what I am talking about when I say that women can be petty. They can perceive insults where none were intended. Women can be manipulative. (I suppose that men can be too, but I have only read a few posts from men...and they seems to have different complaints than the women. I am not being vicious, or bitter. I am just pointing out a truth. Perhaps you are not that way. And perhaps the woman that marries your ex-husband...well, perhaps she is not that way either. Can you give her the benefit of the doubt, and tell her she is doing a wonderful job with your kids? So kind, and fair? Why or why not? Sometimes we do not see or admit to the behavior in ourselves, but clearly see the faults in the woman who marries our ex, or his children. Or maybe we do our best to behave really well, and his kids really are unbearable, and are ruining our life. I don't know. I would love to hear stores about step mothers who adore "his" kids, and think his ex-wife is just wonderful!!! She is welcome over anytime!!! Wouldn't that be refreshing? But instead, women will tell you that her new husbands ex wife is horrible. But maybe she is just a woman doing the best she can to raise their children. Or maybe she feels threatened by the new wife and really is behaving badly. I don't know. What I do imagine, is that there are many sides and emotions run high because there is so much at stake.

g8trgrad98: It is almost scary how much your situation parallels my own. I had written in this forum a number of years ago when my stepson was about 16/17, and just recently as my stepson is approaching 21 (2 weeks). I was in a very similar situation - my stepson was like my own despite his bio-dad in the picture. I was the parent 320+ days of the year and treated things like that - and things were great until that wonderful 15/16 age hit. Like you, I had the typical "you are not my parent" attitude and also like you I had a kid doing a fair amount of pot (does even more now it seems). However, my stepson did not have a grandparents home to run to, so during this whole time he has been in the house. I've had two children with my wife, and they were born when my stepson was 11 and 13. He started out really great with them, but sadly now my kids (now 9 and 7) ask why their brother is so mean and grumpy. I wonder how involved your wife is in this case with either backing you up and setting up rules, or defending her son. My situation was (and still is) very difficult because my wife enables her son and will often tell me to back off while she continues to do so. Has this been an issue in your case? What does she say when your stepson asks her to choose between him and you? Sorry to say that I've come to the conclusion that for some kids, seemingly mine included, they won't ever get a clue until life deals a viscous dose of reality to them. My suggestion to my own wife is that once we stop the money, the coddling, and the comforting life will end up showing this kid what it can do. To that end, better to do that now while he is this young and stop protecting him. Once he experiences poverty, perhaps tinged with a dose of desperation, I think that can change a perspective. Unfortunately, my wife still insists on keeping her boy protected, and the results have again been much like yours - I'm beginning to resent this child I love and felt had so much potential. My wife wonders why I don't take him golfing and be his buddy, but I'm finding my resentment building and just can't fake it. Not sure what you can do with your stepson with him being 17, but I just can't help but feel that a few body blows from reality might help - just wonder whether your wife would be able to go for it.