Adella,

Sigh, I feel your pain. Potty training is the ONLY part of the toddler years that have me second-guessing having another child! That's the truth!

I can offer no advice, except that "This too shall pass."

During her 90% trained days, she always had an accident (a poopy one) in Target. It was a guarantee. I did everything I could to anticipate it, prevent it, whatever. I finally told DH that she was not going to Target anymore until she was 100% trained.

Even now that she's trained and five years old, she still plays the potty card anytime she doesn't want to do something. And parents can't say, "She's bluffing" because like you said, most of the time they really have to go. But I do know of more than one occasion that she didn't have to go, but just wanted to manipulate.

DD never had an issue wearing big-girl pants as long as she got to pick them out. Seems like he'd be willing to wear a cool pair that he has input on.

Like I said, not much advice here! All I can do is commiserate!!!

Well...I'm an old fashioned grandmother type mother here. Potty trained my 2 kids without any problems....and saw 7 grand children become trained.
And what I discovered is the family that was afraid of making the 2 year old mad....afraid of a scene, had trouble with potty-ing until a little after 4 years......where the other family that just said.....sorry, you're old enough for big kid underwear....and that's what we are wearing today. Scream and holler all you want, but nothing will change.....had kids that were trained before 3 years, reliably trained....go by yourself trained....pull up your own pants trained.
After a few times peeing in their shoes, they catch on!
Linda C...the mean old grandma!

Linda,
In my case, DD was in big-girl pants during that time of not being 100%. She didn't care if she peed in her shoes, or pooped in her clothes. I have also heard that moving on to the big-girl pants gets them trained because they hate the sensation. Not my kid!

Not sure about the poop accidents, but I came to think that she went from 90% to 100% overnight due to some mysterious bladder maturity growth that finally happened. Can come up with no other explanation for that loooooong period of accidents.

For some reason, she felt empowered.....and didn't need to control you with the potty issue.
For a lot of years, kids learned not to soil their pants well before the age that is the norm these days....do you suppose we have suddenly evolved into a species of creatures with late maturing bladders? Do you suppose your great-great grandmother washed on a washboard the diapers and other clothing, or her children for 4 years?...2 or 3 at a time?....and stoked the fire and made her bread etc?
I know my children pottied themselves by 2 years.....and I know my brother and I did.....and I know that my grandmother said her children were trained before 2 ( my brother is 10 years younger....and my grandmother lived with us...so she expressed her opinion.....a lot!)
It seems that Freud started the whole "anal retentive" thing. We used to put a child on the potty at 6 months for a little while at a "certain time" each day. If by chance, they performed....the bells and whistles all went off! But...it got them used to the potty....and I used that time to put on my face, brush my teeth and curl my hair.
Now it seems we are afraid of scarring a child's psyche by putting them on the potty too young.....but not afraid to give them Karate lessons at 3.
A child that has never worn a disposable, nor a pair of waterproof pants will be very uncomfortable when wet. And you'd be surprised at how fast they catch on to how nice it is to always have a warm, dry bottom.
I think that after...or about...age 2 it becomes a control issue.....the child is using the potty issue to have some control. I belive it's the same sort of thing that sometimes leads teen age girls with parents who are perfectionists to become anorexic. It's the one area of their life over which they have total control.....when to eat and when to poop.
I suggest finding another area of her life to control....like total choice on what to wear....
But....please don't misunderstand.....I wouldn't want to return to the cloth diaper, wash board days for anything!!
Linda C

My 2 1/2 yr old DD is not interested in pee pee or poop on the potty. We sit her on there in the morning, Pre-school sits her there 2-3 times a day, and we do it again in the evening a couple of times. She will not "produce". She sits there, and then she says "all done", but there is only water in the toilet.
We have offered the finest of bribes from candy, praise, stickers and fun activites. We have also gone down the "don't you want to be a big girl, like the rest of the class/family and go on the potty?" to no avail. The daycare teacher says that sometimes they just aren't ready, and she will when she is. What is the deal here. How can some kids be eager to go and others just not care? We have an older son that didn't become fully trained until he was 4, we were under the impression that girls are quicker. He was at least trying at this point. She is like the potty rebel. We were told to stop pushing an try again next month. Anyone else have a late bloomer?
Jainie

Funny, I always heard that boys were quicker. All in all, 2-1/2 is not "late". So relax, let her bladder mature a bit more, and try again later!

I would try the boxers but resort to pull ups until he is ready.

AND YES, kids have to use every public restroom they come to. (Clean or not) Believe it or not this stage continues until they are about six. I've seen it in my children, my friends children and my grandchildren!!

Ds likes the boxers now that DH has convinced him that it is really neat to snap the waistband. He still prefers to run around the house naked. I dressed him several times both today and yesterday. That lasts only as long as he doesn't need to use the potty and then he is naked again. At least we aren't using a lot of diapers. We went out of town this weekend. He made us stop every time he needed to use the potty. He'll wear the pullups when we leave the house, but only then and at night.

We're going in the right direction, but now I'm cleaning up his potty messes from when he cleans up after himself. I hope at least that #2 learns from big brother.

My son is 11 months and I guess I'm living by the old school, because from the time he was 6 months old he's been sitting on the potty. I'd show you the pictures, but I'm sure in a couple of years he would want to kill me. We sing and read books while he sits. Sometimes he goes, sometimes he doesn't. I know that it's hit or miss right now, but I'm hoping that this will make it easier later. His favorite place in the house is the bathroom. I let him flush the big toilet once a day, which he loves and he knows that there are always great toys and books in there. My mom even has a special basket in her bathroom for his stuff. The bathroom is the first place he heads in her house.