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Parents of Infants

first time big sister

21 years ago

Hello:

Don't know if this is the right forum or not, but I'll give it a try. My sister is having her second daughter in Jan. Her oldest girl is 11. What can I do for her to make her feel special when the new baby comes? any gift or book ideas? She has been the only baby for so long and has a tendaceny to be jealous.

thanks in advance.

Martina

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Comments (5)

Adella Bedella
21 years ago
I don't know so much what you can do for your dn, but her parents need to get involved in helping with the baby and taking care of her. At that age, she is old enough to give the baby a bottle, help dress her, change diapers, etc. If dn is involved in taking care of the baby, she won't notice how much attention the baby is getting. She is at an age when she needs to start learning more about responsibility and helping others. My parent had more babies when I was 8 1/2, 10, and 12 1/2. I never experienced any jealosy. I always enjoyed having the new babies around.

I guess you might try to tell your dn how you and your sister always enjoyed being sisters. You might try to give her a gift reflective of when you and your sister were little or maybe something like a necklace that is reflective of the fact that she is growing up and doing new things.
aileen
21 years ago
Maybe you can plan on taking her somewhere, just the two of you, to celebrate being a Big Sister. A special resturant if she is into that sort of thing. A special keep-sake sort of present might be something that she would treasure.

I went to visit a new baby with an older child. I DID NOT take the usual present for the new baby and I whispered that perhaps the older child would appreciate being the reason for the visit and I gave the child a big soft squeezable stuffed animal. His eyes lit up, I think it must have been the first time that anyone had paid any attention to him first since the birth of the baby.

The mother thanked me later. She said she had not really realized how much he had felt left out on the gift giving.
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nadine01
21 years ago
when i had my 2nd one 6 months ago i was very gratefull for the people that brought my 3yo a gift. she was pretty miffed about this new little brother she now had so it made it a lot easier for her, also we bought her a doll that she had been wanting and told her that it was from her new little brother.

nadine
MarionR
21 years ago
I have 5 children (8 years apart) and 1 granddaughter. When my childrens' siblings were born, I gave the children gifts that they gave to their new brother or sister. This eased bringing home a new baby as the other children had something to welcome the baby with and were quite excited to give her the gift.
talley_sue_nyc
21 years ago
11 is pretty old, actually--she won't have the jealousy that younger kids would. Just be extra sure that you talk to her specifically at any family gathering, seek her out, and talk about NON-LITTLE-SIBLING stuff. Not even, "gee, everyone's fussing about the baby, let me talk to you to make up for it."

My daughter is 8.5, and is very well adjusted. If she were getting her first baby brother or sister, I don't think I'd do that much specifically other than making sure there was time and attention for her alone, and apart from her big-sister role.

She may be so excited about the baby, being her age and able to comprehend, that she may not need much.

And if she has a tendency to be jealous, she's gonna need some practice getting over it. She may surprise you!

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