I don't like any of it but if budgeting and paying bills is a household chore I actually do like doing that. I think of household chores as cleaning. I pay someone to do just about everything at home - not laundry. DH and I both do laundry and I don't mind that. I rarely iron anything. We have a weekend lake place and I do all my own house work there - where I happen to be on "vacation" this week. I've spent nearly two full days doing all that stuff I despise. Vacuuming, dusting, cleaning bathrooms, cleaning carpet stains, washing windows, plus grocery shopping for holiday entertaining, laundry and some yard work. At least I'm getting some exercise plus I get to do it in a great setting. And I'm all done now except for cooking and entertaining guests and I like that part.

Hi I am a 58 yr old husband married for more than 30 yrs. My wife is a RN now for @ 5 yrs. We do not get along at all. We don't speak to each other unless we are in a verbal fight. We have been living in this house like this for more than 10 yrs. I have a beautiful daughter 22 yrs old. Finished college and has a great career in behavioral health. I also have a 30 yr old son with 2 children supposedly sharing half-half custody with their (moms). They are here more with us than they are with their (moms). I don't work and permanently disabled since since my back surgery in 1997. I still love my wife even though she does not anymore, but I'm ok with that because I am just built like that. This is a volatile relationship 24/7. We no longer communicate on anything unless we're in each other's face. I do not put any hands on her or my children ever. We may have our disagreements but no hands and I like it that way. That is only half of the issue. The other half is my 30 yr old son son who does not plan anytime soon to grow up and support his children. Mamma takes care of everything, and I do mean everything. She earns a very good living with her career, not to mention she is a very intelligent woman about to get her masters degree real soon. But I believe that she is the one who does not want to let go of the 30 yr old and his kids. I don't have a problem with him staying here, but I do have a problem with his attitude, disrespect and his sense of entitlement to how and when he needs things. Oh, did I mention he does not work, nor is looking for work. He don't need to because mamma takes care of all his needs no matter what it is. My 30 yr old does not contribute and can't contribute to this household except for being a referee with me and my wife. Which I must admit is a good thing believe it or not. But like his mother he to is a very hot head waiting under the surface of calm. On January 7th 2018 @ 6:pm my wife goes to work as usual, and I normally prepare her lunch so she doesn't have to while she gets ready. I totally forgot to put these drinks that she takes to work in the refrigerator so to be cold when she drinks them. She took it as an ultimate personal disrespect and all out verbal assault ensued. I was totally caught off guard with this. And as she relentlessly continued with this tongue lashing, I did the worse thing buy saying to her. "why are you being such an ass about it it was an accident, I didn't do it on purpose. When I said that, it was no longer about the starbucks refreshers. She said some very nasty things on her way out the house, and it angered me, and said to her well bye or good-nite and that's what send her over the edge. Now it wasn't about going to work, now the gloves came off. The last thing I said after a brutal tongue lashing from her, I said " I promised myself the very next time she goes of like this was going to put a stop payments from my disability direct deposit benefits to her bank acct. There was no turning back for her a that point. As my son tried desperately to keep her from getting to me, she managed to break his half hearted attempt to hold her back. She ran right up to me and gave me serious beat down to my face. While both of my hands were in my pockets holding on to my cell phone. Now my son said that I stuck my neck out at her while she was in my face and that gave her cause to physically assault me. Me personally I don't recall doing that but my daughter said the same thing so it must be true. After the beating that I took, she began screaming for the whole world to hear. " I want him out of here screaming at me telling me to get the f%#@k out! I never once removed my hands from my pockets at all. Eventually she went to work and we haven't spoke about since. I normally stay as far as I can from her because I fear that things like can happen so quickly, that there's is no time to think. I realize my actions in this already hot relationship. I do hold myself accountable for my actions and my responses that night. I just wished it never happened period, I wish I never forgot to put those refreshers in the fridge for her. I wish I never said what I said to insult her that way. Because I was being mean when I said those things. And I didn't have to do that. I should've just kept my mouth shut, and let her go on her way and none of this would not happen. God forgive me. But I know the damage is done. I don't know my tomorrows anymore and I don't know my family anymore. The energy in this house is very toxic, and I pray each and every day for some miracle but I can't see anything, or any hope insight. I give up.

Unfortunately, the problem isn't the adult child living at home, but the mother who is putting her adult child ahead of her marriage. Now, I firmly believe that a birth mom needs to put her UNDERAGE child ahead of any non-birth man who may be in her life (date, fiance, husband), but once a child is old enough to make their own way--they should. Obviously, this mother hasn't learned the first rule of being a parent--that your job is to make yourself obsolete. In other words, it's a parent's job to raise their child to be confident, self-sufficient, self-supporting, independent. I honestly fear there is no answer to your problem, if the boy's mother choses to enable him to be a slug. YOU don't have the power to change things (other than removing yourself from the situation). This mother and son have such a disfunctional, odd relationship, that nothing you do is going to break through to them. Good luck, though

I'd invite them over for a specific Sunday, then at that gathering, talk to each little conversation group about your wonderful experience having regular Sunday afternoon 'family open houses' with your own family and how you're hoping to start the same tradition with your new family. Then for the first few weekends, maybe give a call on Thursday or so with a casual "We're grilling shrimp -- Will you be able to make it?" It'll be great if you can swing it, and I'll cross my fingers for you.