Every time I let our big-bucks architect draw me another picture, I know it's only to get me over the next hump. Because, ultimately, it's all up to me. He can be so-so, but I still need that drawing to get me past stuck. It feels like a real trap sometimes.

I still have to check and recheck everything, and make all the phone calls and initial contacts. I'm just not able to leave it up to someone else.

Except for my dear old friend, who's so good and perfect and wonderful, but she's slow and I can't push her like I can push the so-so architectural company.

I really don't enjoy the process at all. I hope you have more fun than I am having.

I am lucky to have a husband who understands constuction. Our KD made a few mistakes. If I had to do it all over again, I would ask for referrals and maybe see other people's kitchens.
After our kitchen was done, and I am very happy with it despite the KD not because of her, I found out mistakes she made in a neighbors kitchen that were far more costly than mine.
You need to get persoanl referrals. Start asking around!

We got ours from word of mouth. So far everything has been word of mouth (sometimes the "mouth" has been this forum). We asked on my husband's workplace electronic bulletin board, "We are planning to do a remodel. Blah blah blah (specifics). Has anyone done something similar? Who can you recommend? Can we see your XYZ?" We got several contractors' names and several architects' names. We asked the contractors about architects, we asked the architects about contractors. And narrowed in.

Then of course everyone at his workplace knew we were doing a remodel, and we were then referred to a KD by still another colleague. We saw the referrer's place and figured it wouldn't hurt to talk to said KD. From having interviewed all the zillions (it seemed like) architects and contractors, AS WELL AS READING THIS FORUM OBSESSIVELY (important), we had a massive list of likes/don't-likes for the kitchen (though we were still keeping open minds). It didn't seem to take too long in talking with our KD before we realized she 1) understood what we were saying, 2) knew what she was talking about and (3) made some interesting suggestions that showed that she had "heard our words."

We had, after all, interviewed zillions of architects and contractors. Usually we spent about 2 hours with each, going over the house room by room, but it didn't take 2 hours to come to our conclusions about the architect or contractor.

So yes, ask around.

As far as expectations being over the top, I'm thinking of starting a new thread, "Oh you hateful Gardenweb-Kitchen-Forum-ers! You have sharpened my eyes - way too much!" :) Between the posters on this forum and our rental house landlords and their 14-page single-spaced Instruction Manual for their house, I feel like one of those crime shows where my eyes are like zoom-in microscopes on fingerprints (that stainless steel surfacing ought to be a boon for crime-busters!), dirt, dust, mold, but now I include cracks, scratches, dents, mis-alignments, and the like. I try to keep a lot of these thoughts to myself but when I was at hubby's office yesterday, I was thinking "pretty marble table - wow, chipped already!" or "this is what you want your cabinets NOT to do" and other helpful insights like that. :)

drb

I agree that referrals are the best way to find a good KD. We went through initial stages of interviews with some large kitchen design firms and found them to be ok, but also had the feeling of cookie cutter, roll out the next one kind of attitude. We didn't feel connection. Finally, our dear friends recommended their KD, who had done a wonderful job in their home and has over 40 years of experience. He is an older gentleman, who's sons and grandsons do the heavy construction work and he does design and cabinetry. Ed is meticulous and a true craftsman, he understood our vision immediately, is enthusiastic, warm and funny, but a taskmaster. Everyone on the team respects his knowledge and wisdom and we know we will have one beautiful kitchen in a couple of months. We have been planning for months with him, and well worth the effort and are confident in our choice.

So I guess you need to find someone who understands you, your vision, your needs, wants, lifestyle and work with you to create your kitchen space. Much luck to you!

I very much relate to your "indifferent" designer. My experience with our designer has been very disappointing. I was so excited to hire her but I feel like she has really been mailing it in and that I am just one of many clients. She gives me what I ask for and really not much more. I think you hit the nail on the head - they are thinking about it for just a few hours - you are living it.

Honestly it has undermined my enthusiasm and confidence about the remodel and set us back months. I felt like I interviewed enough people but I guess not. Your post intrigues me because despite our designer's mediocrity I am so fearful of having another mediocre experience and wasting more time and money that I think I am going to stick it out with her and just make the best of it. It is too overwhelming to start again (then again we got all the way through the construction docs so I am in pretty deep).

Anyone have a good bay area referral?

We started out with Google and Angie's list. I first did an internet search for KDs in my area and found a few who had great websites, where it was clear that they really thought out each kitchen and weren't just using the same basic template for everyone. I then looked each one I liked up on Angie's list to see how they rated. Most of them were A's and B's. From there I narrowed it down to three, and then had all three come out to the house to interview. Each one quoted us a similar estimated price for our wishlist, but only one really seemed to take the time to really think about what he wanted to do for us. He took notes when I talked, started scribbling down his own plans and ideas almost immediately, and seemed really excited by our vision. He was also our favorite out of the website search, because his site showed before and after pictures and had a story for each one about what the family wanted and how he achieved it for them. He was also very realistic, honest, and clear about his pricing and how it would be broken down.

In the end, we made a great choice. If you don't like who you're working with, interview a few people. You'll find the right match.

Many folks in our neighborhood are remodeling kitchens. I love the holidays because there are many parties and opportunities to take a look at the remodels. I fell in love with one kithen and simply asked for her designer's name. Still early in the process but good so far. I originally I started working with one designer but she would only continue if I used her cabinets (way overpriced IMO). I wanted the freedom to shop those around so we parted ways. Something to think about when interviewing KDs.