Adults need to be talking to other adults. Adults who need help need the help of other adults.

Some adults do not know this, or they might really need help (in either of those cases though children can be taught to redirect the adult verbally or to stay far enough away that they can leave in order to inform another adult). Older children will be better able to notice distinctions in situations, and they might already have their own internal understanding of whatever rules they have. Older children can also talk about what they notice that gives them cause to avoid particular people or situations (in case they do that in a way that their parent finds to be troubling in some way). They will begin to develop insight into how they evaluate situations and make decisions to act or react-- this is all very very gradual though and people develop at their own pace. Younger children who may need blanket type rules can learn that adults talk to other adults-- period.

From a young child's perspective, the 'reward' in participating in a conversation or human exchange is not something they can be taught to always avoid or refuse. I think some verbal reactivity is probably a biological drive or developmental drive that people have. Children in particular, because they are developing have an inherent need to interact with others to varying degrees as they grow into adolescence and adulthood. Because of that, 'not talking to...' type commands are not likely to be very effective in action.

Even adults who are in a position to possibly help another adult who is in need fall prey to a set up, or don't know how to say 'no' in practical situations as appropriate. Being able to own one's self is an effective base on which to build self defensive strategies or habitual behaviours (for people of all ages). Children need protecting, and they also need to learn and to be taught how to be in charge of themselves in developmentally appropriate ways that work well within the context of their family structures-- good adult role models for this are essential.

The CA case was especially scary, because of all the stories they have done on this exact scenario. Even older kids tend to fall for the "Can you help me find my lost puppy" con. I can remember being such a softy for animals as a child, that I can envision me going with a stranger even when I was as old as 11 or 12. I guess that this guy saw those same shows (I think Oprah and 20/20 did tests where they found that the 'lost puppy' scheme was the most successful con).

There is an excellent book called Protecting the Gift. It puts a whole new light on how you raise children in these times and ways to protect them.

Ginger

In light of what's going on, I still see parents letting their children lag behind at shopping malls, etc. We were out at an outlet mall that is mostly outdoors (sidewalks to shops, etc. ) and a woman was walking way ahead of her two children...next thing you know 2-year-old junior is lagging behind. How can these people be so stupid? It wouldn't take but a second for someone to grab that kid while her back is turned. You can never be too careful.

Phyllis,
I have been so paranoid with my 4-y-o lately. I guess the thing that scared me more than anything was the Texas WalMart thing, because that woman was only looking for about a 5-second opportunity to pounce. No sneaky "come help me find my lost puppy" ploy.

I'm very paranoid. But there's that old saying, "I may be paranoid, but it doesn't mean someone's not out to get me."

I'd rather assume the worst, and be overprotective, than have any regrets.

You're so right, TreKaren. I'm paranoid about other peoples' kids and I don't even have any of my own yet. Your post reminded me of the time I was leaving Walmart through the exit by the board where they post all the missing children's photos. One little girl noticed it and asked her mother, who impatiently yanked her along, if all those kids were taken from Walmart. Her mother said no and hurried on. People don't even stop to think. I can remember being scared when I was young because Adam Walsh had just been kidnapped, and this was in the early 80's even. How awful.

I saw someone on television recently who was talking about how to keep kids safe. Seems he was selling a book but I don't recall the name of it. Anyway, he said the first thing every parent should do is tell their children over and over 'THERE IS NO PUPPY'. Stress it over and over, remind them often so they will understand that no matter what someone says, there is NO puppy.

Anyone catch the footage of Carlie Briacci being kidnapped? My husband speculates that the man told her that her parents were hurt. We just can't think of any other reason a girl tthat age would go without making a scene.Sandy

Contact your local megan's law organization. They did an awesome workshop at our local school & I walked out of there with my mouth hanging open. You'll learn things you never knew. We also have to remember it's not all about "stanger danger". Child molesters & kidnappers are usually people we know well!!!!

Michie

Resurrecting this thread in light of Shaun's Bathroom thread. Might be a good idea to toss around prevention and empowering strategies for our kids.

Here is a link to Missing and Exploited Kids website. I love how they say 'DonÂt forget your older children. Children from age 11-17 are equally at risk of being victimized'.

This website is huge, I just linked one of many pages.

Here is a link that might be useful: Safety rules - a beginning

Excellent reading. Thanks Jess.