Well, I just calmly asked DS when he got home about the math project, he started crying and said that he was afraid that if he didn't do well it would bring down his grade. I told him we'd email the teacher and ask, but I thought that this was an opportunity for extra credit, and that it wouldn't hurt his grade if he didn't do well. He agreed that it sounded interesting, and even after she emailed back that it would be graded, wouldn't tell us how much weight towards final it would be, he still thought he'd try it. We have never put much emphasis on grades, I don't know where he gets his anxiety and perfectionism from but as I said it's been from a very young age, well before school. But it's like anything he's afraid to do - once he tries it, and does well, it'll give him confidence. I told him if he doesn't do well on this project, he doesn't have to do any more "challenges" this year. I think DS did well on the tests and in school b/c we do take time to explain things to him (again from a young age), read to him (and now he reads by himself) all the time, and take the kids to places like the science museum and the art museum, not just "children's museums". Really I don't want to push him to take tests and do more work, but this was an opportunity to do a research project, gather data, analyze it, and draw conclusions from it - much more challenging and "real-world" than rote arithmetic. The teacher said that it would take the place of up to 2 nights' HW per week for the next 5 weeks, so it was not "extra" work piled on. My kids love learning and are definitely opinionated, but DS tends to be a bit "lazy" (maybe b/c he hasn't found his passion - except Pokemon?) and I'm just trying to challenge him to go beyond the bare minimum he needs to do in school - not that he does just "passing" work but it could easily slip into that as the coursework gets harder, if he doesn't get excited about *something*. If he never learns to study and research, what's he going to do in HS and college when he finds that he can't pass a test just by having done his HW up to that point? "Good enough" is good enough in some things, but there should be something that he can get passionate about (like when he was little and devoured the whole "100 Things You Should Know About..." series on his own). Maybe by extensions and modifications to the easy (boring - he never talks about school) classes he's taking now, he can *find* something to get excited about. Maybe not this year, but maybe in Jr High or HS? Maybe in a summer program? I don't know. I'm just afraid he's already gone on academic autopilot. He asked us to stop reading him bedtime stories when he was about 6-7. I have to screen a lot of the books in the Teen section of the library for him, b/c the content is too mature. But when I find a good book or series (he loves fantasy series) I get them for him. As I said, he found The Hobbit on his own, he read Narnia years ago, he's read Twain and T.H. White (was really into Merlin about 2-3 years ago). Occasionally I'll hand him a nonfiction book - he read A. Lincoln and Why Evolution is True this summer. He's still very interested in paleontology, archaeology, and astronomy, whenever I find an article in the WSJ on a new discovery or theory I point it out to him and sometimes we'll do research online to find out more. But it's not like he'll just pick up a nonfiction book on his own anymore. So I'm hoping that by requiring more research of him for his science and social studies classes, he can be motivated to explore more and maybe rekindle those interests (or find new ones) without me having to "find" interesting stuff for him. The kid is a walking encyclopedia - I don't think he forgets a single fact about nature or science or history once he's read it. It's just that "commitment to exploration" that's missing. And it's been creeping up on him for the past few years - seems like the longer he spends in public schools, the less interest and effort he puts into anything. When he was a toddler, preschooler, kindergartner, even 1st-2nd grade I'd say, he was just interested in *everything* and always wanted to find out "more". Now he seems apathetic about learning most of the time, unless DH or I point out something about a new scientific discovery and then help him research it. Most of the time he just wants to read (or re-read) fantasy books and play Gameboy. I hate that thing! My mom got him a used one at a yard sale last summer, then he begged us to let him use his own $ to buy a DS (but we gave it to him for Xmas instead), and now he takes it *everywhere* (except school). He plays it in the car on a 15-minute drive to go out to dinner, to my parents' house, etc. and plays it all weekend and nights after dinner, except for when he's reading. Of course I don't mind him reading LOTR, but I think he can stop re-reading Redwall and Warriors and other series that he read years ago and find something *new* and maybe a bit more advanced? I mean, I have my favorites I used to like to read over and over again (anything by Michener!) but I'd go a year or more before rereading a book - there were so many *new* books to read!

That turned out great Anj. I'm so impressed by all the details. I like the "water" and the rocks and the working drawbridge--awesome! The "straw" on the roof, and the banners and knights and horses and all the other equipment really adds that realistic touch. I still remember being very impressed with the other one too. Tell DS it turned out great--and that's saying allot because cardboard is NOT that easy to work with. Luvs

Rosie: When I was growing up, my mother made me clean my room, help with the cooking, clean the kitchen after dinner and other miscellaneous chores (my mother didn't work). I did not however, mow the grass, scrub the floors, do the grocery shopping, wash the families (6 of us) laundry, help the others with their homework, pay the bills, plant the garden (although I did help weed and pick the vegetables), maintanin the cars and other household appliances. My mother worked very hard at home raising 4 kids while my father worked 12 hours, 7 days a week at Fords to provide for the family. I also went to school and got very good grades, participated in the band and played softball in the summer. At the time, I thought she was the meanest mother in the world, but when I got married at 20, I found out that I had no problem keeping a house, working full time, going to school at night and eventually having children. I was capable of doing all this because my mother prepared me for adulthood. I am very gratefully for that now. Take my stepdaughter for example. I entered her life when she was 15 (she is now 18). She lived with her mother for a few months in the beginning, but decided she preferred to live with her dad and I (and my boys)full time. She did not assist me in any way with anything to do with the house, but was very demanding about being driven here and there and asking for money as if it grew on trees. I asked for her help ie: taking her own dishes off the table and putting them in the dishwasher, etc, and she said she shouldn't have to do that because her mother made her do those things when she was 4 years old. This seemed to be a common excuse which her father and grandmother (who lived with them for 4 years) says did not happen. I didn't want to be a b**chy stepmother , so I didn't press the issue. She was getting good grades in school and was a cheerleader so I figured her time was better spent on those activities. Big mistake!!! She is now 18 and can't even make it out of bed for a 10:00 class at college. She has been late for work many times because she "just slept in" (I can't believe they haven't fired her). Her claim now is that she is 18 and is legally an adult and we cannot ask her to do anything. She began college in September and has now dropped out because she cannot balance, work (20 hrs wk), school 4 classes and socializing with her friends. She demands to be treated like an adult,but was never made to accept any responsibility, so she doesn't know how to act like an adult. I firmly believe that if she had been made to be a part of the family and take responsibility for helping in the running of the household, she would be better prepared for "adulthood". So now we have a disrespectful, inconsiderate, lazy 18 year old in our house that causes a terrible disruption to the rest of the family. How am I supposed to teach my boys how to be proper, respectful, considerate young men when they have an example just the opposite in the household? We have now thrown away $2500.00 in college tuition (which we can't afford) and she has forfeited a $2500.00 MEAP scholarship. What a waste!!! But let's not forget, she has lots of time to socialize with her friends now!!!!! That is really going to get her far in life. Kids need to know that life is not easy and having them help around the house is not going to cause them any harm.

I had a case of 'walking pneumonia' when I was a young healthy 19 yr old. I was living alone renting a room over a store, working a job, and attending college in a work/school coop program. I knew that something was amiss in my lung area, but being a young squirt with little cash, I thought I could tough it out and that it would get better, like a cold or flu. That did not happen. When I bent over while playing ping pong, I felt like something was loose around the bottom of my lung. After ice skating on a park pond, I walked to my room and went to bed. A 4 am, I awoke with an awful pain in my chest, became nauseous, and had difficulty breathing. I sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over because that seemed to be the most comfortable position. I sought medical help as soon as business opened that morning. The verdict: pneumonia and lung collapse. I could have died. The bottom lobe of one lung had collapsed and 1/3 of the other lung had a partial collapse. The Doc shot my rump with a double dose of penicillin and ordered me to go to a hospital. I rode a Greyhound Bus back to my hometown where my parents lived and entered was hospitalized. I was there 3 days while they monitored my lung because if the lung did not refill and re-attach, surgery would be needed. After 3 days, I was sent home with a week's amount of pills and was told to lie around, do no heavy work, and periodically perform a lung exercise to aid re-inflation. I wondered why I was so groggy and sleepy much of the time. I did a lot of daytime napping and that was not normal for me. It worried me a bit and made me wonder how long it was going to take to get better and regain some pep. After a week, I took the last of a little white pill - and then I woke up! It had been a sleeping pill. The label did not identify it as such. Among other pills, the Doc had given me sleeping pills to insure that I did not feel like going outside for activities. My advice: If you got pneumonia, do not mess around. Get medical help. It is too dangerous and your lungs could be damaged beyond repair.