Actually my older ones are more interested in the Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches and my 14 yr old DS wanted one for a pet. I don't think so. lol The elementary school that my kids attended had raising Painted Lady butterflies as part of the science curriculum. They were each given Painted Lady eggs, a special food (it wasn't leaves) and a small cage that they had to clean (frass became a favorite word lol). Once they made a chrysalis they were attached to the inside of a mesh tent. The school has a courtyard that was built with help from the Chesapeake Bay Foundation and a butterfly release party was the highlight of the unit. I hope this is still part of the curriculum by the time my youngest is in grade school. They also got to hatch duck eggs. I miss their being in elementary school. lol Karyn

I live in the great white north now, but got the cactus bug when I lived in Phoenix for two years. I found that I couldn't keep any Crassulaceae outside in the peak of summer, as they all died. It might have something to do with overnight lows being too high for CAM plants to initiate gas exchange ??? Purportedly some people can keep some of these non-cacti outside in the shade, but I couldn't. If you live in Phoenix, go to the Desert Botanical Garden, which is in between Tempe and Scottsdale. Look around for your plants. If you don't see it growing there, it probably can't be done. I didn't develop a good way to deal with this in my little house, but probably the best thing would be to have it inside but in a sunny spot, and set your plant outside again in late September. They should be deliriously happy from then until May.

I would like to thank everyone for their input. It has drawn my attention to items that missed my focus and brought more perspective. I understand I have issues I carry with me from my past and perhaps counseling could resolve these this is something I will arrange. It has made me feel so much better though just to hear of your stories or opinions. My friends dont understand what Im going through so this has made me feel less alone. Thank you. I dont think my wanting to have a family with a man who hasnt had one before is a fairytale. I have always wanted this for myself and I guess Im going through a grieving process as I am letting something I have cherished for so long go. This dream for me is precious as it would be the opposite of what Ive always had; it is possibly a means to no more pain and hurt and I guess Im trying to protect my possible children from such feelings. Just to clarify: my boyfriend has not seen his daughter since late last year. His ex-partner refuses him access to his daughter. My BF was paying maintenance up until about a month ago; he ceased payments in a futile attempt to trigger his ex-partner to contact him to arrange regular visitations. The court system has not been involved as yet my BF and his ex-partner had a personal arrangement. My BF wants to see his daughter and I wish he did, so I could understand exactly my place in this equation, and explore those feelings I know will emerge e.g. how I feel the first time he sees her since weve been together. As an example last Friday night was in part spent watching a baby video of his daughter. It made me sad and sick and Im still working through those feelings. Tonight he talked about how he held a baby today that was quiet and described how his daughter would cry if held by a stranger. Im still experiencing anxiety at hearing this. I dont want my boyfriend to already be a father. To juxtapose my feelings to possibly highlight what Im now experiencing: when I discussed having children with my former long term partner I would feel happy, excited, warm and would have a few butterflies in my stomach but it felt special. When my current BF talks of his daughter it fills me with the abovementioned negative feelings and dread. When we talk of having children (as he wants two more) it doesnt feel special but just like something else thats going to happen in an ordinary day. Its like the colours of the rainbow have been washed out and the rainbow is now in shades of grey. I definitely need time to process my feelings and what Im going through before making a decision. Thank you all again. Sincerely Midnight Fairy

The only way to make it to the other side is to leave this BF, which I hope you did. He is not appropriate for you and you are not appropriate for him, regardless. He can't make his 4 YO child go away and nor should he be expected to. You, on the other hand, clearly know you do not want to be a SM under any circumstances. Enough, already. . . time to move on. And, hopefully, you did!