Sudden change in 5 yr old behaivior..any help?

18 years ago

My son will be 5 in 3 weeks. He is in a pre-k program at our local school and has been the child every teacher could want. He asked good questions, listened, followed the rules, and did as he was asked. Since Christmas his behavior has been getting progressively worse at home and at school. It escalated to physical anger at school on Friday. He kicked a box, shoved a bunch of blocks off of the desk, talked back to the teachers, did not listen to one thing all day. His teachers are astonished. He went from being their favorite student to one that causes problems daily. His behavior at home is pretty much the same, except he whines constantly. Yesterday my husband told him on his next day off they would do something really fun together and they started throwing ideas around. Once they decided what to do our son pitched a royal fit because he coudln't do it right then.

I'm just at a loss. He is such a wonderful, loving, caring child that people compliment him on his behavior. Now this has happened and I was embarrased to be in the store with him the other day. I'm fine if this is a phase and we find a good way to deal with it and help him through this. I just don't know what else to say. Please help

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Comments (11)

freezetag
18 years ago
Has anything changed in his life? New house, new sibling, conflict between parents, loss of pet, etc? Does he have allergies, and is he getting plenty of sleep?

Other than that, I don't know. My 7-year became much less sweet and loving a couple of years ago, which I think is fairly normal once they start school, but not so drastically. Seems like there might be something else going on.
azzalea
18 years ago
Given the extreme change you're describing, I think you do have reason to be concern. If you can't identify any changes in his life that may be giving him stress, then I think you need to dig deeper. Sorry to suggest this, but is there anyone who could be abusing him? A babysitter, teacher, janitor, clergyman, playmate?

Sounds as if this has been escalating for about 2 months? If you haven't yet, it's probably time to speak with your pediatrician and perhaps an expert on pediatric behavior. If there is something medical going on (bi-polar, for example--I was just seeing a program recently about the fact that a lot of children who have it aren't properly diagnosed) it needs to be identified and treated. If he's reacting to some sort of abuse, then you need to find out from whom and get things sorted out there.

I'm curious--what explanation does HE give when you ask him why he's behaving like this? How does he assess and explain his tantrums?

Good luck.
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tegwyn
18 years ago
I know this sounds really basic but go get his ears checked. He may have an ear infection. That would explain the irrational behaviour. This time of year is notorious for viruses that lead to secondary infections.
carla35
18 years ago
I too tend to think many emotional issues are related to health and sleep problems. He could have a chronic sinus or ear infection like tegwyn mentioned especially considering the season.

I think some kids just go through stages where they like to test people and test their limits when they realize they can do things. Hopefully, it's nothing serious.

He hasn't by chance started watching a new program -- like Caillou (I swear that kid is too whiney) or Rugrats? Sometimes kids pick up bad behavior from shows that seem innocent.
popi_gw
18 years ago
I suppose the obvious things are sleep and food. Is he a good eater ? Does he sleep well ?
imamommy
18 years ago
Everything you described leads me to think 'abuse'. The things others have mentioned could be possible, but as you describe a 'sudden' change, usually that follows a significant life event or trauma. I would explore that more with his doctor or a professional.
sylviatexas1
18 years ago
what ima said.
Jonesy
18 years ago
I agree on the abuse. Take him to a doctor right away.
stir_fryi SE Mich
18 years ago
Maybe his personality is forming. My DD was always a cuddle-bug, sweety until age 4 or 5. Then she got such a temper!! She is now almost six and is sweet most of the time but when she is mad... look out. I do have to say though that she saves her anger for me and never acts out much at school.

He is probably just going through a phase in which he is finding his own identity/personality. It would be nice to think that he should/could stay the way he was at age four but not likely.
carla35
18 years ago
You may want to check out this post from the Parents of Toddler forum too. They have some specifics that don't fit yours, but you may get some ideas and gabysmom (at/near the end of the post) had some ideas that you may want to try.

Here is a link that might be useful: Parents of Toddlers
sc_gardener
18 years ago
Who is he hanging around with i.e. playdates, at school, etc. That age they are little copycats and if they see a behavior they think is cool... like they see a bigger kid doing it, they will repeat it. What TV shows is he watching? I know many little boys who are forbidden to watch certain action TV shows.

Take him to your pediatrician to get a complete check up.

Sudden change in 5 yr old behaivior..any help?

Comments (11)

freezetag

azzalea

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