I'm all for education being a "full time job". But what happens when parents aren't capable (OR WILLING, like mine!) to make that happen? How do you imbue kids with the resources to "adapt, improvise, overcome"? Personally, I think that is the more important question. Mericifully, I learned from the 'rents to "live lean". I can "squeeze a dollar 'til it hollers" with the best of them. I think it's important to give allowances. My parents never did that. Aside from occasional baby-sitting gigs, in a very rural town there were no jobs available. If I wanted to go to the movies I had to ASK for the money and justify the popcorn. IT SUCKED. I determined that once I had a job I'd never "go beggin'" again. How my practical parents missed the importance of an allowance escapes to to this day. Work=gain. Pure and simple. I was never able to hold a job until I was 18 (there were no jobs in my town and my work/study job the first one I have had!). Use of the family car was purely discretionary. MY use of it was predicated on my GPA. Straight As earned a sizeable insurance break... and use of the car! I may not have paid for the insurance increase, but I damn sure EARNED the "break". A speeding ticket or ticket for a moving violation would have grounded me for between 60-90 days. A car was NOT a "god given right" when I began driving, it was a priviledge, subject to parental vagaries, lol. My parents did a CRUMMY job of imparting to me the most fundamental aspects of establishing a "budget". They did it wonderfully themselves and I was a good "study", but they failed woefully when it came to actually TALKING about money and its management. Talking about money was like talking about sex... everything was cloaked in time-honored "mystery". A total fu**kin' waste of time! A HS student who works should pay "room and board". Put the money in an account for them (identify this as "savings" while stressing the importance of rationing a paycheck!). Talking about money and how to use it for your greater benefit is crucially important. Money is a TOOL, something we all have to use. Learning how to use it effectively begins with "baby steps"... savings, budgets, forestalling immediate gratification. The sooner kids learn that it costs money to live, work, and how to provide for that, the better off they will be in long run. They need to be informed that you have to take care of the BASICS before you can begin to "blow money". Savings. Basic budget. Fun money. I'm 47, with no kids. I've paid every note I've assumed before the term was up. I've never bounced a check. I work in the "trades"; work ethic was part and parcel of the way I was raised. But it would have been a lot less stressful had I been given the basic outline before I was 18. For me, it was as though I was dropped into the "deep end"; needlessly frightening and stressful. Years later I've only just become comfortable with the notion that I can actually SPEND money on something other than basic necessities. You shouldn't have to be honest, hard-working, and in your 40s to feel comfortable with your finances. This feeling was an option for me 20+ yrs. ago, but I was too afraid of money then!

Mary, My intention in telling you this, I hope you can see his side a little better, because I think I might just get it. I just got my degree (political science with CJA as an addtional major) after 23 years of attending a university! Yea! Hurray! Finally. Needless to say, I am not interested in being a police officer any more at the ripe old age of 40-ahem, er something. I am too old. And yes, you need to be a young spry kind of person to wrangle bad guys. So I keep thinking to myself, what can I do with this freakin' degree? You know what you can do with a CJ? Parole officer, probation officer, police officer, or a corrections officer. That's it. So with his blown knee, he can't do the most lucrative and interesting one, police officer. I can see he'd have no interest in doing the others as he'd be dealing day-in-day-out with those society has found too hard to handle. Not just kicking them into a jail. Or maybe he hadn't thought about the others. I am still trying to brainstorm for myself, so maybe he is too (aside--I wish I could be a detective without being a beat officer. That would be interesting!!!). So basically, he's lost everything he's worked for, for the past few years. And has to start from scratch.

As much as I love to decorate, I'm a very practical gal. I like for kids to be able to help in the designing of their rooms, but I have the last word and "Practicality" stays as the most important determiner. With each of my kids, I've let them pick the main colors of their rooms. They got to choose their comforter, but it had to be machine washable and with nothing on top (buttons, bows, tufts, etc) that would cause it to look tired, etc. too soon. I used a plain bedskirt that would go with just about anything. Sheets, to me, are very important. Most kids sheets are 170-180 thread count. I HATE those low quality, scratchie sheets! So, their sheets were always plain, in white and pale pink or blue, 100% cotton and at least a 350 thread count. The results were easy to wash and the colors always worked with the other set. No wallpaper borders or crazy colors on the walls, as ~ IMHO~ kids change their likes and dislikes too quickly. Instead, I bought inexpensive poster frames, inserted a couple posters that they liked and hung them on their walls. The posters were a lot easier ~ and cheaper~ to change out when they wanted a new room . . . but I only allowed them to do that every few years. A comfortable rug to play on was also a must for me. And, for many years, they had a big long white, relatively inexpensive shelf unit in their rooms. This provided most of the decor for the room (after their comforters), and they could put what ever special toys or collectibles on that, along with their many books. They always loved making their persoanl decorating statements on the shelves and could change them to their heart's content with no extra $$ on my part. I bought most of my sheets at Penneys until I discovered Target and Walmart, but still bought my sheets only when they went on sale. We're a family of readers, so a good, stury bedside lamp (with a 3-way bulb) and sturdy, big nightstand were always important for us, as well. Oh, and black-out shades on their windows, which were especially good for afternoon naptime and in Summer, when it stayed light past their bedtimes. Lynn

LOVE it! Lots of stimulation there for the young mind. Also, you have a lot of choices for sheet and pillow colors. I would pick one of the colors from the bedding and do an accent wall. And put in a big mirror at her level--very helpful for someone learning how to dress herself... and essential for dress-up time! Her taste is going to change as she grows, so how about getting a few poster frames (the lightweight college student kind--I think an adult frame with glass would be too dangerous in a child's room) and having her pick out some posters? You can turn this into a fun way to learn about color. There are all kinds of sources you could look at--here are some of my thoughts: * Vintage Disney * Etsy --oooh, I found one that's PERFECT. Check out the link! * Movies --if she picks Disney princesses, that's OK, it's her room * IKEA OTOH, if you ask her, you might be surprised at what she comes up with. Looking forward to pictures! Here is a link that might be useful: Etsy alphabet poster