Luvs, can you recommend a pearl paint that I could order online? I really wanted something that would have sort of an opalescent look to it, but haven't been able to find anything like this. So, I started looking at the pearl finishes. It'll be at least a couple of week before I can get back to a Michael's, so I was hoping to find something online.

Now that I have completely read the entire thread, I have one more comment. As far as mom putting things in the kids head. Maybe take a step back and look through a different set of glasses. This may not be mom's doing. He is 6. My dd was saying these things to me and to her dad at age 6 and NO one was saying them to her. She is now 11 and told me just the other day, 'I wish you and my dad could love each other'. It was completely out of the blue. We have been divorced for 6 almost 7 years and it's been quite a while since she has said anything like this. She did go further to tell me that she is grateful for my dh and for her little brother but that she just sometimes wished our family was normal. I think maybe a 6 yr old talking about mom and dad together is very normal and does not mean mom is telling him to say these things. The things you would be seeing from a 6 year old if their mom was telling them things would be actual actions and not words. He isn't going to remember to recite word for word what mom said to say to dad's new girl friend. He would be angry at you, disrespectful and he would not at all listen to what you say. And he would be distant with his dad. Those are signs of parental alienation. The child would be so pulled and would shy away from affection from dad if this were happening. Sounds like he just has a lot of memories that he wants to share. In the very beginning of my divorce. I was bitter. My ex had met one lady and they moved so fast. (they are married now). I dated here and there. My friends set me up, I met a guy through work. I even got in to a relationship that ended badly. I did feel like something was wrong with me. How did this man go on and find someone to fall in love with, to move in with, start a new life with and I was just still searching. Sure it's silly to an outsider but according to my therapist I am a very normal person with very normal feelings. What made me even bitter was the new woman was wanting to 'get to know me so that I would know who was caring for my daughter'. I didn't want to know her or what she had that I didn't. Yup, that's insecurity and again very normal. My ex was back and forth back and forth. We'd sleep together and then he would go back to her two days later. She never knew any of this but I was bitter and she pegged me as the crazy ex wife that wasn't over her man. Yup, I wasn't over my husband, my ex husband, my marriage, my divorce, my family, my broken home but he was but not really because he couldn't stay put. It was very hard and after a couple of years I met a wonderful man and I'm very happy with my life however there is still that little pang of, my daughter has two mom's. When she was born I never Invisioned that. Had I known, maybe I would have held her more or maybe I would have taken more pictures. Maybe I would have watched her sleep more because I would have known that I would miss many nights of having her in the next room. Divorce is hard on everyone and just because someone still has feelings and might seem bitter doesn't make them a bad person or crazy. I didn't want to hang out and have coffee with this new person. I didn't want her in my face. I didnt want her to answer the phone when I called because I surely was not calling to talk to her. I don't think I would have felt that bitterness at all had she just let me be and stay out of my co-parenting. She thought (maybe she thought I don't know) that I wanted to know what my daughter was doing when I wasn't around and honestly no, I didn't want to know. I was better off being blind and dumb but she thought she needed to inform me because she was just trying to let me know what kind of nice person she was. Nope I didn't want to know. And I really think had she just stepped back and stopped rubbing her new little life in my face, I could have just been blissfully ignorant and not felt bitter. I bet if you just step back and not even show yourself at all to her, that bitterness will die down. Don't answer the phone when she calls. Don't do pick up or drop off. Don't send emails. Just be your BF's girlfriend and the mom to your kids. Be kind to his son and love him be there for him and she will see that she didn't need to be bitter and her insecurities were unfounded. It took me a year or two to realize that I am in control of me and my relationship with my daughter is about me and me alone. I am the only one that can ruin what we have. But it does take time after a divorce to feel secure in that. I felt like a failure in many areas. But after a while I realized I am not.

Well, hope it turns out okay, but keep in mind what Sweeby has been trying to tell you, don't judge this little boy too quickly. If there is a medical reason for this child's behavior, punishment is not the goal, but a involved team (parent/school officals) working with the child would be. Seeing that the child gets the help and guidance that he needs to function in his learning environment would be a more suitable solution for both the other children and the boy. When I called the police it was not because there was a child with special requirements involved, it was because a bratty kid without any kind of medical disorders sprayed a can of mace in my kids face after school as kids were exiting building...kid got the can out of his mom's purse and thought it was the thing to do to the new kid in class he didn't like who was getting too much attention (in the kids opinion). I'm ignorant on the disorder Sweeby refered to so I just did a quick glance at the medical condition...if that is what is going on with this boy, he needs help, not punishment... he's not a 'bad' kid. The longer the school/parent denies a problem the harder it will be for the child and for the kids he goes to school with. My DD10 goes to with a boy who has some disorder (no clue what, it's none of my business) and this boy attends partial classes in the regular classroom and partial in the special ed classrooms. He does not have a learning disablity, kid is smart as can be and gets great grades, he just has trouble being in the regular classroom. He's been known to strike the other kids, be extremely disruptive during lessons and has on a time or two 'mooned' the class. Some days boy does realy well and spends the whole morning with class and other times daughter will say '_____ had a rough day today and took his spelling and science test with his other teacher' (he spends mornings in regular classroom unless there is a problem). He takes art and music with the other kids all the time (he's very talented, the regular class teacher always has the boy's artwork displayed with honors)and it depends day to day on whether boy has lunch with the other kids in lunch room or if he eats 'with his other teacher and her students' as my daughter calls it. There is only an odd rotten kid or two that tease this little boy, the rest accept him as their classmate 'who has a rough day now and then'. I truly hope things can be worked out for the little boy in your case, Mom2. I think it sounds like your son is doing the best he can with something he really does not understand the whys and hows of.

Sweeby, I've noticed that your advice here (in the short time that I've been reading here, a whole couple of hours) has been incredibly fair and sensible. Thank you so much for taking time to respond to me, it is very much appreciated. - On step 1, I'm right there with ya. I have printed it out and told DF to put it in a 3-ring binder. I wouldn't want to run the risk of her deleting it, so we have no intention of bringing it up to her. - On emailing - I told BF that he needs to do this. He started to, and then a strange thing happened - his email account disappeared. We aren't sure if she took it over, read everything, and then deleted his acct, but we can't figure out what else could have happened. We have since changed his passwords and things to ridiculous things that she couldn't possibly guess. But if she had taken it over, she would know we were watching what she's saying and would have stopped (she never has the guts to say things TO him, for obvious reasons). So I don't know... but I'll remind him to be diligent about it. They were married for 7 years so he knows her better than I do. He's hurt by her lies, but not shocked. - On being polite, we agree with you completely. She would only use it against us if we showed her the anger she deserves... so far, she has done enough to make herself look bad, and we will keep it that way. -Visitation specifics: There are any, besides that they must be at her parents' house, since that's where she lives. There is no "when" or how often in the decree. And I should clarify the distance thing - first, she moved to her parents' house, which is an hour away. Then we BF and I got serious, HE is the one who moved further away (but with the understanding that we could still meet up and get the kids). Now that she hasn't kept her word, he deeply regrets moving. We're both going to move to the area this winter to be closer to them. That's when our lease is up, also he's trying to get a certification during the next 4 months so he can get a better paying job. Between CS and health coverage, his take home pay is paltry. He couldn't even afford to pay rent anywhere without a roommate (he had a roommate before he moved in with me). Again, thank you so much for responding. It helps so much just to be heard. This crap is tearing me up.