My DH just received his MAster's Degree this past weekend. I bought him a custom made frame for his Degree. The company is great to work with and the frame is gorgeous! Here is their website: http://www.usadiplomaframes.com/ Or, do you know what he'll be doing? Maybe a framed print for an office wall or something that represents something that he is interested in. When DH received his undergrad he received a beautiful clock from his Dad for his office. Just some thoughts, I hope they help! Gina

Thanks Kay I have sent the card, a recycled paper card, as he was an environmentalist. He used to ride his bike to the shops, along busy roads, because he didnt want to burn fossils fuels. He also got solar panels on his roof, for their hot water needs. Such a wonderful person...I feel quite sad that I won't see him any more, but I guess its worse for his wife and children. He was one of those rare people who showed an interest in others and didn't talk about themselves the whole time. A charming man. They had the funeral in their back yard because he didn't like funeral directors. He brings a smile to my face, and always will. Thanks again Kay, for your interest. Popi

Thanks everyone for weighing in - it's been great to read your responses! I admit that one concern I had with sending announcements was that it would seem to be a grab for gifts, which is not what I or my son would want. I don't think my family would see it that way, but I can't be sure about my ex's family. They don't send DS gifts on his birthday or at holidays anyway, so I don't think they'd feel obligated to send anything for graduation. I do think that the appropriate response to any kind of announcement like this is a card with good wishes, which is what I would hope for on behalf of my son. The actual graduation at DS's school is sort of unusual, at least compared to my own (long-ago) high school experience. There is no limit to the number of people who can attend (friends & family sit on the football field, seniors are in the stands) and so there's no issue of tickets, or of only inviting Aunt Sue but not Uncle Joe. Immediately after the ceremony, the new graduates are whisked away to a Grad Night party planned by the senior parents at a secret location. They're there all night and from what I've heard, it's loads of fun. So what this means is that any festivities that family members might want to have to celebrate graduation must be done at a different time. I can just imagine DS's grandparents flying all the way across the country and then not getting to see the new graduate, either right after the ceremony or because he's sound asleep the entire next day! (I think this is a pretty humorous image, but don't worry - I'd tell the grandparents what the schedule was ahead of time). We'll find a way to celebrate as a family, either before or after the actual graduation date. Having said all that, I don't think anyone receiving an announcement will actually fly across the country to attend the ceremony, and I'm terribly proud of my sweet son and want to share his accomplishment with his relatives.

Congratulations! "now, what would you do? is it understandable for me to be upset or not? is it normal to not even send a card or a small gift? would you say anything?" 1. What I would do is exactly what you are doing. Venting :) 2. Yes, it's understandable, I'd be upset too. 3. "Normal". Hm. Well, from what you've described it is normal for him and his relationship with your DD. It appears it's not normal for how he treats others. Unfortunate. But probably normal. 4. I'd say something if I thought it would do any good. And I'd say something like what was suggested above: DD worked hard, I know you're probably busy and it's easy to forget, but would you give her a call or send a card letting her know how proud you are? It would mean a lot to me. I received no gifts/cards/etc. for my college graduation from family members. My friends, their parents... they gave me gifts and I appreciated their tokens of pride so very much. For me, taking the time to really congratulate someone for accomplishing a goal is very important. Regardless of what it is. Your dd sounds like she's gone above and beyond many graduates, and that is worthy of extreme pride (so please don't take this wrong because it has nothing to do with your DD, just a generalization). My feeling is that if someone graduated Summa Cum Laude from Harvard or plumbing school it shouldn't matter insofar as they should be shown by their family and friends that their efforts and accomplishment did not go unnoticed. Praising someone for success (even if it's something that may be considered by others to be not that hard or unusual) is important. Acknowledging achievement is important. I have a friend who recently completed a marathon. Ten miles is not very much. I can run 10 miles faster than this person. I have another friend who has won the Ironman and many who have competed in similar elite marathons and triathlons. But I am so proud of her and I'm her biggest cheerleader. She set a goal, she worked toward it and she accomplished it! It's so cool to see her look of pride, and see her self-worth rise and to know that she knows that she is more capable than before. To me, that's cool. And if your brother is too ignorant to see just what a cool niece he has, it's his loss. Heck, I'm proud of her and I don't even know her. (((virtual card congratulating dd)))