I have had many moronic days in the kitchen, but the worst one was when I start at 5:00 pm on a Sunday and preheated the bottom oven where we keep the pizza stone, to 500 degrees for one hour. Then I make the homemeade pizza, go to the bottom oven and open it...it was cold. I had accidentally heated the top oven. So. Hubby, who must be much smarter than me, put the pizza stone in the top oven, which was already 500 degrees. Meanwhile, I turned on the bottom oven to 500 degrees, not realizing that he put the stone in the top oven which was already hot. So, 60 minutes later, go to put the homemade pizza in the bottom oven, and the pizza stone was in the top oven, which by now was no longer hot. So, finally we got our heads together, and moved the stone back to the bottom oven where it goes, and preheated the stone for only a half hour or so. Needless to say, our hopes for an early supper were shot. We ate at 9:30. Hubby looked at me and said, "What will happen when we get old and forgetful?" So then I removed my head from my butt and washed my hair.

From my "Essentials of Finer Chinese Cuisine" cooking class: SIMPLE VEGETABLE FRIED RICE Master Recipe 2 tablespoons peanut oil 2 eggs, beaten 1 slice (cross) fresh ginger root 4 mushrooms, diced 2 cups cooked rice ½ cup bean sprouts, coarsely chopped ½ cup frozen peas, thawed ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon white pepper 1 stalk green onion 1 tablespoon soy sauce Rub rice with wet hands so all grains are separated. Heat ½ tablespoon oil in wok over medium heat and add eggs. Cook and stir until soft curds form. Remove from heat and break eggs into small pieces. Heat remaining oil in wok over high heat and add ginger and mushroom; stir-fry for 15-30 seconds. Add rice and toss until heated through. Add sprouts, peas, salt, pepper, green onion, soy sauce, and cooked eggs. Toss just to heat. VARIATIONS: Chicken fried rice -- after cooking eggs, put in small dices of ½ chicken breast (boneless, skinless); remove from wok before adding ginger and mushroom and return with sprouts, etc. Eliminate sprouts. Shrimp fried rice -- put in 2-4, coarsely chopped shrimp (as you would the chicken) and add 1 tablespoon fish sauce or oyster sauce. Eliminate sprouts. Santa Maria style (with linguica, chicken, shrimp) -- cook Linguica (1/2 small link, diced), chicken (1/4 chicken breast), shrimp together (2, chopped). Season with 1 teaspoon SM-style seasoning (eliminate salt and pepper). Eliminate sprouts. Sub chicken stock for soy sauce. Add 1 teaspoon (more?!) Tabasco. Toss in 1 tablespoon finely chopped cilantro just before serving. VELVET CORN SOUP WITH CRAB MEAT 1 cup Crabmeat 1 slice Fresh ginger, minced 2 tsp Cornstarch 1 Tbs Sherry 3 cups Chicken broth 1 cup Sweet corn, cream style 2 Eggs, separated; yolks lightly beaten, ONE white stiffly beaten 1/4 tsp Salt 1/4 tsp White Pepper Marinate the crab meat in the ginger, sherry, and cornstarch for 30 minutes. Heat the chicken stock. Add the corn and bring to boil. Add the crabmeat mixture and again bring to a boil. Turn heat down and gently stir in the egg yolks, then fold in the egg white. Serve immediately. Garnish with chopped cilantro and/or finely chopped green onion. "LIONS HEAD" (MEATBALLS) 1 pound lean ground pork 4 ounces shrimp, shelled, de-veined, chopped ¼ cup sliced water chestnuts, finely chopped 1 teaspoon fresh ginger root, minced 1 stalk green onion, finely chopped 1 tablespoon soy sauce 1 tablespoon dry sherry ½ teaspoon sugar 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1 whole egg, lightly beaten 2 tablespoons peanut oil SAUCE 1-½ cup chicken broth 2 tablespoons soy sauce 1 head Chinese (Napa) cabbage (1-1/2 pound) 3 tablespoons cold water 1 teaspoon sesame oil 1 tablespoon cornstarch 1. For meatballs, combine all ingredients except oil in large bowl and mix well. Divide mixture into about 12 portions and shape into balls. 2. Heat peanut oil in hot wok over medium-high heat. Brown meatballs, shaking or stirring occasionally so meatballs brown on all sides and keep their shape, 6 to 8 minutes. 3. Transfer meatballs to a larger stockpot or deep saucier pan. Add chicken broth and soy sauce. Bring to boil, reduce heat, cover and simmer 5-10 minutes. 4. While meatballs are cooking, core cabbage, remove hardest stems, and cut leafy tops in half. (Save hard leaf bases for another dish.) Place leafy tops over meatballs and simmer 5 minutes more. 5. Use slotted spoon to transfer cabbage and meatballs to serving platter, meatballs on top. Blend cornstarch, water, and sesame oil in small cup. Stirring constantly, slowly add cornstarch mixture to pan juices; cook on high heat until slightly thickened. Pour sauce over meatballs. Garnish with thin sliced green onion and/or whole stems of cilantro ("Chinese Parsley"). Ground turkey can be used in place of the pork. Use 2/3 pound turkey and 1 cup cooked white rice. Also add a touch more soy sauce. CHICKEN AND ASPARAGUS WITH BLACK BEAN SAUCE 1 Tbs dry sherry 4 tsp soy sauce, divided 5 tsp corn starch, divided 1 tsp sesame oil 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts halves, cut into bite-size pieces 1 Tbs black bean sauce (or just chopped "fermented black beans" and 1 clove garlic, minced) 1 tsp fresh ginger root, sliced ½ cup chicken broth 1 Tbs oyster sauce 3 Tbs peanut oil, divided 1 lb asparagus spears, trimmed and diagonally cut into 1-inch pieces ¼ small red bell pepper, cut into thin strips 1 medium yellow onion, cut into 8 wedges and separated 2 Tbs water 1. To make marinade, combine sherry, 2 teaspoons of the soy sauce, 2 teaspoons of the cornstarch, and the sesame oil in a large bowl. Add chicken and stir to coat well. Let stand 30 minutes. 2. Combine chicken broth, bean sauce, remaining 2 teaspoons soy sauce, the oyster sauce, and the remaining 3 teaspoons cornstarch in a small bowl; mix well and set aside. 3. Heat 2 tablespoons peanut oil in wok over high heat. Add chicken and stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Remove and set aside, covered. 4. Heat remaining 1 tablespoon oil in wok. Add asparagus, bell pepper and onion and stir fry 30 seconds. Add water, cover, and cook, stirring occasionally, until asparagus is crisp-tender; about 2 minutes. 5. Return chicken to wok along with chicken broth mixture (stir well before adding); cook and stir until sauce boils and thickens. CHINESE BANANAS FOSTER WITH COCONUT CARAMEL 2 small bananas, sliced crosswise 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted ("sweet") butter 1 tablespoon flour 4 tablespoons brown sugar ½ teaspoon cinnamon 2 small pieces candied ginger root, thinly sliced ½ teaspoon orange zest 3/4 cup coconut milk 1 pint Vanilla ice cream (or butter pecan) Melt butter in large sauté pan. Add flour, brown sugar, candied ginger root, and cinnamon. Add banana pieces and turn often until they JUST start turning soft. Add coconut milk and stir until smooth. Cook, stirring, over medium heat until mixture boils and thickens, then simmer 2 minutes longer. Serve over ice cream. From "Low Country, Up Scale" (for Chinese food with a twist): CATFISH AND BLACK BEAN SAUCE Ingredients: 1 Tbs dry sherry 4 Tbs soy sauce 5 tsp cornstarch, divided 1 tsp sesame oil 3 large catfish fillets, cut into 1" cubes (or about 2 lbs of "nuggets") 1 Tbs black bean sauce 1 tsp fresh ginger root, minced 1 clove garlic, thinly sliced ½ cup chicken broth 1 Tbs oyster sauce 5 Tbs peanut oil, divided 1 pound fresh asparagus, trimmed, cut into 1" 1 medium yellow onion, cut into wedges 2 Tbs water Directions: For marinade, combine sherry, 2 teaspoons of the soy sauce, 2 teaspoons of the cornstarch, and the sesame oil in a large bowl; mix well. Add catfish and turn to coat well. Let stand 30 minutes. Combine bean sauce, ginger, and garlic; chop together. Combine chicken broth, remaining two teaspoons soy sauce, oyster sauce, and the remaining 3 teaspoons corn starch in a small bowl; mix well and set aside. Heat two tablespoons of the peanut oil in a wok or large skillet over high heat. Add half the catfish and toss gently until catfish turns opaque (about three minutes). Remove the cooked catfish from wok, add another two tablespoons of oil and heat the other half of the catfish. Remove cooked catfish and set all catfish aside. Heat remaining one tablespoon of oil in wok. Add asparagus and onion and stir-fry for 30 seconds to one minute. Add water, cover and cook, stirring occasionally, until asparagus is crisp-tender (about 2 minutes). Return catfish to wok. Stir chicken broth mixture and add to wok. Cook and stir until sauce boils and thickens. BANANA EGG ROLLS 8 4-inch egg-roll wrappers 2 medium ripe bananas 8 tsp apricot-pineapple jam/preserves About 1 cup oil for frying (3 parts vegetable oil and 1 part peanut oil is best) Slice bananas crosswise and then lengthwise to get four long quarters. Spread each wrapper with jam/preserves. Place banana quarter in center of each and roll up like an egg roll. Heat 2 inches of oil in saute pan on medium. Deep fry 3-4 at a time until golden. Cut each egg roll at a slant at the midsection and serve with vanilla ice cream and a good drizzle of Island Chocolate Ganache: Island Chocolate Ganache: Ingredients: 9 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 1 cup heavy cream 1 Tbs dark rum Directions: Place the chocolate into a medium bowl. Heat the cream in a small sauce pan over medium heat. Bring just to a boil, watching very carefully because if it boils for a few seconds, it will boil out of the pot. When the cream has come to a boil, pour over the chopped chocolate, and whisk until smooth. Stir in the rum. Allow the ganache to cool slightly before pouring. Joe

With ethnic recipes, I often use Google translate to go to the native language recipes, and translate back to English. I think this may be more authentic. dcarch From a Chinese recipes, as translated by Google: ------------------------------------------ Egg F Y This dish golden color, outside the focus of Hong within soft, bamboo shoots, crisp, OK for dinner or snack can. Material Ingredients: eggs, 250 grams, 125 grams of bamboo shoots Accessories: lean pork 25 grams, 15 grams of fresh mushrooms, Spices: onion 10 grams, 7 grams of salt, MSG 2 g, 1 g of sesame oil, pepper, 2 grams, 30 grams of vegetable oil Practice 1. Pig meat is cut into 60 x 3 x 3 mm in silk; 2. Xiansun slashing the skin, wash, cut into 60 x 3 x 3 mm in silk; 3. Mushroom stalks, washed and cut into 60 x 3 x 3 mm in silk; 4. The shredded bamboo shoots into the boiling water pot boiled about half a minute to salvage water dry with a clean towel; 5. eggs add salt, MSG, sesame oil, stir, then put pork, shredded bamboo shoots, mushrooms, onion Bancheng eggs; 6. hot wok, with the fire under the oil-shabu, the end away from the crater, with material Tieshao the eggs into the pot divided into six parts; 7. the pan back on the stove, while fried side under the oil and fry until golden brown, flip fried the other side, and then the next oil and fry until golden brown; 8. Finally, under the oil, simmered complex fried on both sides until cooked, can Dish and styling; 9. The end of the disc put 3, the middle put two into the top put a pagoda like.

I've never made these yet, found the recipe online, but I've eaten plenty of these dumplings. They are excellent in chicken soup (along the lines of a won ton)or just fried until crispy in a pan like a potsticker! My grandmother used leftover pot roast for the filling. Kreplach (dumplings) * 2 cups all-purpose flour * 1/2 tsp. salt * 2 eggs, beaten * 1/4 cup cold water Process flour, salt, eggs in food processor with the metal blade. With the machine running, add water. The mixture needs to form a ball. Knead for 30 seconds, adding either more water or more flour to get correct consistency. Wrap dough in plastic while preparing meat. Meat Filling * 1 pound ground beef or 1 pound leftover brisket * 1 onion * 1 clove garlic * 1 large egg * salt and black pepper to taste If you are using raw meat, cook it with onion and garlic in a frying pan. Otherwise cook onion and garlic in a small amount of oil. Put cooked meat, onion and garlic in food processor and process until just smooth. Add egg, salt, and pepper. Divide the dough into 2 or 3 parts so that it does not dry out while filling. Roll each portion into a very thin rectangle, and cut into 3-inch squares. On each square, put a tablespoon or so of filling, and close into a triangle, wetting the edges and pressing them tightly. Put finished kreplach on a floured surface to wait. To cook the kreplach, bring a large pot of salted water to a rolling boil. Drop the kreplach into the water, and simmer for 15 minutes. Drain well. Serve in traditional chicken soup. The parboiled kreplach can be frozen or refrigerated before using. If you have more kreplach than will fit in a single layer, separate with oiled paper or foil so they don't stick. Quantity, about 30 kreplach.