My daughter has kept her 'married' names (3 times)...I think because our name IS difficult and her married ones have been very simple ones. Does that help? Nanny

My SIL did it after she divorced her first husband. Took her maiden name back.

When her and my DB married she just added his last name to her maiden name. "just in case". We all scratched our heads and asked each other WTH she is thinking!

I started using my maiden name the day I filed for divorce. It took me all of 2 minutes to get used to it again.

Didn't take me long at all. It's a pain getting all new ID and such though.

If it didn't take you long to get used to your married name, I wouldn't think it would take long to get used to your maiden name again.

I don't think I ever got used to my married name so it wouldn't be hard to go back to my maiden name but I probably won't due to the kids.

Go ahead..change it back..

How is that done? Do you just start using the maiden name or is it court authorized? Just curious....

Does it create any problems with getting a passport or on a credit app?

I'd change it back too.

Kept my maiden name when I got married.

You don't need to go to court or spend any money. Not in Canada, anyways. The only things you'll have to pay for is a new drivers licence. They may want to see your divorce papers. I just walked into the bank and told them to change my name back to my maiden name. Told my boss to change my name on my payroll. Called health care and had them send me a new card with my maiden name on it.

Whatever you did to change your name on everything to your married name, is what you do to change it back.

In CA it is part of the final divorce papers to specify whether or not you want to change your name. I don't know how OK does it. The first thing to change is your Soc. Sec. card and you need a legal document to do that. After that, everything else is easy. It doesn't take any longer to remember your new name than it does to remember your new address or the current year when you write a check.

Here in PA it is easy to resume use of a prior name, they note it in the divorce decree and when I did it there was no charge. I had no children so it was a no brainer. If I had children I would not have done so.

Some states require listing in the paper also--such as listing your name (new and old) is not responsible for any debts after (date, I think) . I have seen this in CA because it releases responsibility for any debts occur ed by your spouse that happens. You could ask your lawyer for the wording. Also there are ways you can list your married names on certain documents to prove that it was legal during a certain period of time. Again, talk to your lawyer. Somewhere I remember some people using a AKA and my DD did list both names on her DL for while. Whatever you decide good luck.

I took my maiden name back twice. First time at his request. Second time because of difficulty in friends pronouncing it. The name change was so stated in the divorce decrees. I did need several copies of the divorce decree to change legal documents. Most accepted photo copies. I think SS wanted to see a certified copy.

I took mine back after a 2 1/2 year marriage.. I remember my ex being hurt that I did it. He thought I should keep his name. Not happening!

I kept my married name for a while after the divorce. It was the late 80's and my kids were young. I thought it would be easier if the kids and I had the same last name. And at that point I had used my married name longer than my maiden name and felt I had "earned" the use of it. I guess if I had hated my ex I would have felt differently. And when I remarried a few years later, I still kept my ex-husband's last name for quite some time, for a variety of reasons. I work for an attorney (California) and when I finally decided to take my "new" husband's last name I asked my boss how I should do it. He said that for a woman it's as easy as just using the name I want and have everything changed accordingly. The DMV and SS office did try to give me the runaround, though. The DMV said that I should have my SS card changed first and when I went around the corner to the SS office they said that I should have my driver's license changed first. I told them that somebody's got to give, so SS took care of the card and I went back to DMV and took care of that. That's how easy it was for me.

As a man I have never had the opportunity to resume a maiden name, however having been divorced 5 times I have certainly played the "Name game" a couple times.

Now before you ask why I was divorced 5 times, let me explain so we can get back to the subject at hand; I have one firm, none negotiable rule in any relationship whether it is sealed by marriage or not and which applies to both parties - "If you are going to sleep with somebody else-TAKE YOUR BAGS WITH YOU and don't look back, end of discussion!".

Now for the name game:

While it is customary for the bride to take the husbands surname when they get married, that is not mandatory. In some states the bride may continue to use only her maiden name and in some states the husband may assume the brides surname.

In many states it is common for the wife to continue using her maiden name and add the husbands surname. A prime example is our Secretary of State and former First Lady who uses both her maiden name and her hubbies surname as Hilliary Roddam Clinton.

Whether husband or wife, if a name change occurred at the marriage, at the divorce you are given the opportunity to restore your former name (maiden name).

Although not mandatory, Resuming the maiden name is a nice subtle way of announcing your divorce is final.

If a name change is occuring in the divorce action in most states it is openly stated as an article in the divorce decree, however some states require you to file a separate name change with the court. Generally if you have an attorney he/she will ask you beforehand and prepare all the necessary paperwork.

MAKE SURE YOUR NAME CHANGE IS FILED WITH THE COURT- In some states if you just resume your maiden name without having officially filed the change with the court if you sign a legal document using the maiden name you could be charged with "Fraud by Negotiable Instrument". (My mother learned that the hard way when she resumed her maiden name without filing with the court. Two years later she had a car accident and the insurance company refused to pay stating that according to court records no such person existed and she was perpetrating a fraud, and the court upheld the insurance company was right.)

NOW GUYS-PAY ATTENTION HERE---- The law requires that when you get a divorce decree you must file a public notice stating you are divorced and that you will no longer be responsible for any debts, public or private incurred by your former spouse. The notice is usually done by posting in the local newspaper, although a small note on the courthouse bulletin board will also suffice, BUT DON'T YOU BELIEVE IT- That may suffice for legal reasons, but there is one more step I would strongly advise you to take.

Serve an official written notice to all banks that you formerly held joint accounts with and all credit bureaus in your area. If you fail to notify them and your spouse happens to accumulate bad debts, those bad debts can inadvertantly end up on your credit report and your credit goes down the toilet, and I can assure you, it is hell to recover that silly little mistake.

My sister kept her maiden name when she got married for professional reasons, she didn't want to bother changing it for her state pharmacist license. She's still married but sees no reason to change her name. But it was a little crazy when she went to school conferences for her kids and had to explain her "different" name.(Miss W vs. Mrs S.)

I have had my current last name 38 years longer, than my maiden name. But since we both stay in the same general area, I want a division.

I already had my credit card company send me stuff for Mr. and Mrs. even so I had his name taken back off, and requested and received a new credit card. I ended up canceling that card.

With the different last name, and the different address and phone numbers, I am hoping the alleviate another instance like that.

We will see.

At any rate, my girls are grown and gone, and feel fine with the notion of mom having a different last name in the future.

As the new address isn't causing me a problem, I am thinking the different name to sign paperwork will be fine as well.

Moni

A different name will be very fine - just make sure that you specify in the divorce documents that you are returning to your maiden name. You will probably need that for things like driver's licenses and other legal docs. Some in your family and friends will continue to refer to you by your married name. Just calmly point out your "new" name when you hear them use it.

In the future, if you apply for other legal things, forms will ask you for your name, and then there will be a line asking "have you ever been known by any other name?" That's the only time I've ever had to refer back to my first married name.

Making the break name-wise is part of the moving on process! You clearly want to make the break.

I'm on marriage 2 now and when DH2 and I married, our marriage license clearly says that "after marriage, she is known as maiden name". No more name changes for me!

I went back to my maiden name after both my divorces.

Most of my friends knew me as my maiden name anyway, but it did cause some confusion with work, because I started there as Toni C but changed it back to Toni S a year or so later.

Something I forgot to do after I divorced: CHANGE YOUR W-4 at work! I didn't think to do that, so I've owed Federal taxes the last 2 years.

It's changed now. :-)

what the attorney i had made me do, was sign as susan s(married name) s (maiden name) it was a little confusing but it worked for the time i had to use it..

now at my age and number of years married (41) if i ever got mad enough at dh , i'd probably not care...

what can be just as confusing are first names...mother was georgia blanch...well her aunt georga passed and her gm couldn't stand calling her georgia...so it was blanche...

along comes retirement and the feds used her correct name...so after 80 years of being "b", every appt we'd sit and forget when a nurse would come asking for georgia, lol...

Yes I went back to my maiden name. It wasn't confusing to any of my friends and I am really glad I did it. I really don't understand women who do't go back to their maiden names after a divorce, frankly. I divorced him, I certainly don't want his name following me around!!!

I'm one that uses both my names.

Legally it's hyphenated..because at the time of my marriage I was a professional and had built up a reputation under that "name"..

After being a stay at home mom for 12 years I was known by my married name..(I never changed my Social Security card. It's still my maiden name only.)

I work for our school district under my maiden name. I have had W-2's filed under either name. Some years I get a letter from the IRS asking if the person (My married name) is the same as this person (maiden name). I sign it stating yes..and never have had a problem with taxes at all.

You can be and do what you will as long as you are honest about it. :)

Our Pastor goes by her maiden name because that who everyone knows her at. When she got married about 2 years ago, she kept that name on all the church stuff etc and her husband is fine with it. We kid him and her about his bills and her bills etc. They really do have a good sense of humor and both are well respected in the community. They probably will never have children for various reasons, but are great with kids.

I am a hyphenated woman LOL. DD's last name is the same as DH's. If we weren't married when she was born, she would have my maiden name as a last name. She understands why my last name is different than hers, and I would have no qualms about dropping the married name off if I get divorced.

If you were to get married tomorrow and change your name, you and other people would have to get used to it, right? So this is no different.

Dances.

I resumed my maiden name when I divorced. All it took was a sentence in the divorce decree. I then changed my name with Social Security, and everything else.

When I remarried, I kept my maiden name. I didn't want to go through all the hassle of changing everything again. This probably confuses a few people, but I'm too old to worry about it!

I went back to my maiden name.It was easy,had it longer than my married name.No children lawyer said it was best to take my name back.Good thing I did.Next day ex took a loan out in both our names.I would have had to pay it if I still had his name.Cut all ties.If you want his name stay married.

Moni -- I know from your posts that you were born in Germany. Is "Moni MaidenName" a US citizen or only "Moni MarriedName"? I wondered if that could present a problem.

Back in the Dark Ages, when my parents divorced, a woman ceased to be Mrs. HisGivenName MarriedName and became Mrs. HerGivenName MaidenName MarriedName. It was one way the world knew she had been married, but was now divorced. Women of multiple divorces just kept adding sirnames! (While a divorcee was married, she was Mrs. HisGivenName MarriedName.)

Example: Miss Jane Smith married and became Mrs. John Jones. They divorced and she bacame Mrs. Jane Smith Jones. She did not become Miss Jane Smith again because she was not a 'maiden'. Current use of Ms. confuses the title as an identifier, which may be a good thing, or an attempt to change history?

It's likely I would keep my married name if for some reason we divorced. I took his name because it was much, much easier than my maiden name.

I've also made it my name in my business dealings. It has been my name for 30 years, and I am known in the public (separate from the DH) by this name.

I also didn't care for my maiden name - and geeze - I hate the term "maiden" name!!, LOL. Let's call it a "family" name.

The DH never, ever pushed me to take his name, and was kind of surprised when I chose it.

No kids = no reason for me to keep his last name.

My friends all knew my maiden name so no big deal there.
Just a hassle changing everything and I swear if I ever get married again I will not change my last name.

Daughter got her degree before she got married and kept her original name.

After our divorce, Sue, who became head of food service at a substantial hospital, continued to be known as "Susan Baker".

I never did change my name.

Now ... I just have to remember what it is. A few weeks ago at church I had it turned upside down, and when people pointed it out, I just said that, if I forgot who I was, all I had to do was look down.

I guess I hadn't needed to have done that - I can read upside down ... I think. I could yesterday, anyway.

ole joyfilled

I wouldn't go back to mine at all, to hard to pronounce. It would have been to confusing for my boys.

I kept my married name only because of the kids. I kinda wish I had changed it now.

Like Vala my maiden name was hard to pronounce and I was glad to finally take on a simple surname. I think I married him for the "easy" name. LOL So I wouldn't have and would not change it to this day if I were divorced. Besides we have kids. My son would always carry the name anyway. I would feel like I was distancing myself from my DS.

If I were in a short marriage that didn't have children I might feel differently. But probably not. My maiden name was a PITA.

I did. Once I had the final decree, I went back to courthouse to change my name. It was very easy to do that part.
I will recommend getting several notorized copies of the change from the county prothonotary.
What took a while was getting all my bank accounts, mortgage, credit cards, license, business cards, and club cards changed. Club cards were actually the worst...you would think it was a matter of national security to get frequent buyer cards changed!
I also had no children.
On a side note...I have discussed this subject a couple times with the guy I am seeing now. I have told him flatly that if we marry, I will keep my name for professional reasons...I will hyphenate for all personal and joint situations. He was less than happy....so I told him he was free to change his name to mine if he'd like...it was pretty quiet night after that!

Salgal, my present husband knew and understood my reasons for keeping my former husband's last name. But after a few years he asked if I thought it was time I changed it. He said that if I liked, he would change his too. He said that we could both use my maiden name. We didn't do it (nobody ever pronounced it correctly), but I loved him even more for offering.

salgal - if this topic comes up again just get out a Scrabble board, pull out all the letters in your last name and his and then play with them until you create an entirely new last name.

......just a silly idea LOL

"If you want his name stay married."

Amen, Sistah!

"He was less than happy"

The night before my wedding, way back in the seventies, my beloved & I got into a huge argument over the name, ending in his standing up & pointing his finger at me & declaring, "If my name isn't good enough for you, we aren't getting married."

hard to remember I was ever that young.

Anyway, I cried & hollered & told my mother & my aunts that he was being a butt & why did it *matter*???, & they said if I had doubts, I should call it off.

but everybody had given us presents, & everybody had come in, & the flowers were at the church...
so I talked myself into it;
("if it doesn't matter, sylvia, why are you making such a big deal out of it?")

I was in that marriage for over 5 long, miserable years, during which I didn't even have my name to call my own;
it was like I was a dog ("Toto McDonald").
I was an appendage at best, property at worst.

The day I filed for divorce, I changed back to "myself" at work, on credit cards, on my driver's license, everywhere.

It was heavenly.

Wildchild, my maiden name was Sisemore, you can guess how it was pronounced. Mrs. Sis e more, it was supposed to be pronounced Sizemore. So glad to get rid of it.

It's all in how much you adapt. You changed before, if it was a problem, it's something to consider.

However the US isn't like Canada apparently. You can't just randomly change your name, legally, or everyone would be skipping out on debt, dodging criminal charges and more. It's not overly complicated but there is a legal process and each state is probably different. Usually in MN it's handled with the divorce, and with divorce being a commonplace thing, I'm sometimes amazed people bother with marriage anymore. Anyway, the people I've known who changed it had to file an affidavit declaring why they're changing it, and outline debts, criminal background and the like. Usually it's not a big thing but there is the process of notifying everyone, including the Social Security folks, IRS, banks, creditors, debtors, credit report agencies, utilities, etc.

One hint on whether you'll have issues is whether you have trouble writing checks in January! How long does it take to adapt to writing the new year? If you want it, do it. There's no requirement you change it if you don't want to.