What a great opportunity you had to give her the snow globe! Even though we lived fairly close to both sets of grandparents and I loved them all, I didn't interact with them much in elementary years or as a teen; but had "snow globe moments" with them from time to time. My mom occasionally mentioned my maternal grandma wondered if I didn't like her because I usually went off to read a book. I just didn't know what to say to her. When I was 12 we moved next door to my paternal grandma to be where we could help her. I never felt close to her really. She tended to be critical and to compare me to, well, pretty much everyone, but she meant well. In college I moved into my mat. grandparents basement apartment to be closer to campus. In my whole life they had never tried to correct me (something I feel is always best left to the parents!). While I lived there they just visited with me, asked me about school and work, told me amusing stories, etc. Never once did I use the kitchen downstairs. I always ate with Gramm and Gramp and they always acted amazed that I would do all the dishes when I "should be studying" or that I could carry my book bag with so many big textbooks. They were delightful and brilliant and the least judgemental people I know! They met my husband long before the rest of my family did and made him feel welcome, too. He feels as close to them as I do. Gramm's been gone nearly 20 yrs now, Gramp has been gone for 11. I still miss them both with all my heart! I think you're wonderful for wanting a close relationship with your family! Just keep loving your little one and be patient. Don't push the relationship. Love her mom, too. Grandparents can be a safe haven when the time is right! Wishing you all the best! Kay

May I ask how much Dad is actually home during daughter's visit? Your 'right of refusal' might work part of the weekend, but I think you may want to really think this one through before exercising it completely or inisting the entire weekend is off limits. The basic clause likely states in place of daycare, sitter, relative blah blah. If Dad is home on Friday evening by say 7ish and still has time to be there and spend enjoyable time with daughter...it may be best to go for having Dad pick daughter up at the 7ish (either your home or a neutral spot). Again, is he off and running early Saturday? Is it noon-ish before he leaves SM with daughter? Dad might have to bring daughter back before he takes off for the day. Where I'm going with this is that the child desires to see her father and even though she does not care to be left with the SM she does say she 'had a good time'. Will opening up your 'right' cause additional friction and 'games' between the situation with the SM? Does the daughter really 'hate' the SM time or is she (like Ima suggested) picking up on your feelings and the stress of others surrounding you when it come to her weekend? You were pretty stressed out earlier this last weekend. Did she feel/sense this building in you/other's in your family and maybe feel she was betraying you? Maybe feel she had to be home because her mom/others really need her there and get stressed/upset/sad when she goes away? In other words, is it possible that unintentionally you/others played a part in her building anxiety? You're not dealing with 'normal' people here. This father and SM are a bit nutty (based on your previous thread postings)...I guess I kinda fear what the nuts will do for 'payback' if you 'win' and stop weekend visits entriely based on the fact Dad is gone 'alot'. There is a chance it may be better to demand your 'right to refuse' and then work with them via the clause initially so daughter is not left for long stretches with just SM but also does go ...yes, it might mean a few weeks/months of extra running for you/dad while the daughter is taken back and forth. I just think you need to step back, look at everything, ask the professionals their opinions (lawyers, counselors, teachers who are aware and famaliar with what's going on) and weigh what might really be in child's best interest. Maybe 'conditions' could be used in bargaining your right to refual? Something along the lines that while Dad is 'gone' daughter can phone you once to let you know she is ok/having goodtime/miserable whatever. Dad can like it or not but since you do indeed have the first right to refuse clause he is under legal means to have to follow the clause. He can't 'deny' notifying you. He can't 'deny' you the 'right' to exercise the clause you both agreed to have included in the court papers. But the clause does not mean the daughter 'must' remain with you entirely, it merely gives you first chance to request in place of daycare, sitter, relative you get the option of the daughter spending the time he's missing from the scene with you instead...how detailed is your clause and how much room does the wording leave open to interpretation aka could drive a semi through the loose wording and loop holes?

Cindy, your talents are just amazing! She is just adorable! Like everyone else I am almost speechless. This is just OUTSTANDING! She must have a name because she is soooo cute. Anytime you decide to give classes, I hope to be able to attend. OR if you want a trip to Florida, you can stay here and teach me! No joke, come on down!

From Palm Beach Post.com: As Jim Dulin struggled mightily to steer his 30-foot fishing boat away from an ugly storm and into the Jupiter Inlet early Friday afternoon, he was startled to see a small boat heading the opposite direction into the rough weather. Among the dozens of vessels in the water, Dulin said the small boat carrying two young males was the only one not racing toward the safety of the inlet. “I said to myself, ‘Those kids are crazy,’” said Dulin, a Jupiter resident and commercial fisherman for 20 years. “There’s no way they couldn’t see that storm. The storm was really black, the temperature dropped and you could tell it was going to be a really mean one.” Although Dulin couldn’t be positive, he said it’s likely the passengers on the small boat were Austin Stephanos and Perry Cohen, the Jupiter 14-year-olds who have been missing since they took off on their 19-foot boat from the Jupiter Inlet.