Trisha I am so sorry.I am battling this with one of my dearest friends.My thoughts and prayers are being sent your way.Hugs and lots of love for you.

You did not say, but I guessing that you found a breast cancer. Its no fun; Its worrisome; and a scarry time. I can vouch from experience that it is beatable. My wife had a brest cancer 10 yrs ago (and she is still here). It scarred the urine out of us, and she was so sad. She opted for a masectomy. During that procedure, they also removed all of her lymph nodes on that affected side - It turns out that was unncessary. All the nodes were clean - and then I was angry, because it affected her quality of life for the remainder of her life and it wasn't necessary. 1.5 years later, the recommemded procedure changed to a less radical one. Advances had been made, and continue to be made to this day.

We survived, as you can too. The message here is that it is not necessarily the end of the world for you, just an inconvenience that is to be overcome, much like the final exam in college before graduation.

Lean on your husband. Confide in him. Express your fears and hopes. Now is the time to be open between the both of you. If you have not made wills, do it. It was this event that forced my wife and myself to write our wills. We had been talking about that, but kept procrastinating. Now, it became urgent. By all means, do not view writing a will as a final act in your life; It is not. It is merely a chore that needs to be done no matter the circumstance of ones health.

This is not the end of your world; It is the begining of a new phase of life that needs to be met head-on. Live your life one day at a time and give thanks for each day given. There was never a guarantee of life span for anyone, so live each day such that you'd be comfortable if you were called to account for that day.

Many are praying for you.

Trisha - I would also consider getting a second opinion. A good doctor never minds this; in fact,s/he should encourage it. I would want a doctor who will fight hard for me and not emphasize statistical deadlines.

I just spoke an hour ago with a dear friend who tomorrow is probably going to receive a diagnosis of colon cancer with mets to her liver. Right now she is glued together with the help of anti-anxiety medication. Do consider this if your doctor allows it!

My heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you. And the KT is always here for you.

Trish, I'll be keeping you in my prayers. My sister is starting radiation on Wednesday, for breast cancer. 2nd time for her. It sucks.
Leslie

((((Trisha)))) I'm sorry you were given such a poor prognosis. Doctors aren't always right, listen to others and get another opinion. We're here for you to talk to anytime. Lot of Kters are going through or have gone through what you're facing now.

Its good to know that you felt comfortable coming here Trish...hugs to you...myself,I cannot imagine what you are going thru,but with all the help here,your journey will be somewhat easier

Trish, you've been given a lot of good advice already, so I'm just gonna give you a hug ((Trish)) and tell you that you sound like the kind of person who has a lot of fight in her AND a lot of reasons to live. Let us know how you're doing. We care.

{{!gwi}}

It must be terribly hard. I just got home and haven't read all the responses, but I would encourage you to

a) get a second opinion
b) research the best medical treatments (including chemo delivered in synch with your circadian rhythms--discussed not too long ago on this forum)
c) research the best alternative treatments and supplements

Re the third item, I've read good things about turmeric and resveratrol for cancer patients.

(((Trish)))

Susan

Aw Trisha, want you to know that you'll be in my prayers--Please get another opinion! You can beat this!

Hugs, Donna (^_^)

I'm here to add my Prayers! Cancer invaded on our lives in Aug.2007 when my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer!
We never ask for and were never offered a "prognosis"! Reason? Neither of us felt that his Doctor(or ANY Doctor)could make that "call"! We're all "terminal" from the minute we're born. We both knew that if the Drs. gave him 6mos., a year, 5yrs...they were talking about the cancer taking him. But, we were also very aware of the fact that something else could take him (or me) at any given time. So, what did we do? We made the best of everyday we had. We loved each other and our children. He actually told during all this that "if he never got any better than he was at that moment...he was happier than he'd ever been in his life"...and he meant it. I lost my husband of almost 40yrs. on June 21,2008....to a heart attack! So...cancer (the d@mned demon) did NOT have the final say!

The Drs. are not always right! There was/is a guy that was on the lung cancer forum I used to visit that was given 6mos at the time he was diagnosed. That was 9yrs. ago!

I hope you have many many years ahead of you, but the reality is that none of us really know how long we DO have. If there's anything good to say about cancer, it's that it usually gives people time to love,fall in love again,talk and say things we should have been saying all along.

Know that my Prayers are with you!!

Get a second opinion. My BIL was given such bad news by his first doctor, and then they found a talented doctor and some medical trials that turned it all around.

I agree that you should get a second opinion. Please don't give up, fight with all you have.

There is an interesting book about breast cancer and the connection to dairy called "Your Life in Your Hands" by Jane A. Plant. I think I got my copy used on eBay very cheaply.

(((((Trisha))))))

Please do find another doctor for a second opionion. I had a wonderful doctor when going through my bout with breast cancer. I don't know what kind of area you live in. Is there a cancer center in a city near you that might offer more options?
I agree that getting an antidepressant is also a good idea to help you cope.
You will be in lots of prayers. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. God bless you Trisha!

Trisha I went through this with two sisters, one 50 and the other 52. The older one need double mastectomies. We went to three surgeons at top hospitals in Boston to hear what they thought. They were all different thoughts so she chose the one who said he would do his very level best to remove as much as could be taken and he did. She had 22 or 25 nodes positive and was given a 30% chance of a five year survival but he also told her not to believe it, to go and live life and make plans, take trips, laugh each day and keep stress at a minimum. it's been 15 years, she's the talk of the hospital and she's still doing well. So my advice to you is to not believe it, Live like your well and do yoga for relaxation. Try to watch funny shows. When the fear gets to you, tell someone and have a good cry and then work to laugh again. My prayers are with you and I'm sending my best thoughts of healing on you. Live in love with life.

Try to take it One day at a time.

What a BEAUTIFUL thread. I wish I could say just half the uplifting and loving thoughts already said. I can only echo each one, and say that I will be adding you and your family to my list of friends that need all the good thoughts and prayers we can send your way. And add your name to the "red shirt" Thursday's. And, I am so glad that you chose to let the KT be part of your journey. Nanny

Trisha, with your drive and determination, I know that once the shock wears off, you're going to do what needs to be done for your health and survival. Love and humor and thinking positively will help, but you need a little time to get to that point, honey. Good luck and know that we're all here to help in any way we can.

(((((Trisha)))))

Trisha, first of all, get a second opinion and check around for your cancer specialist. Some are mater of fact and others very supporting.
Keep a positive attitude, think how good it will be once you are over that obstacle in your life. I am a cancer survivor myself and right now a niece and a friend are in the process of just getting chemo and radiation. Their doctors, as well as mine have said that a posiotive attitude is already half of the battle. You can beat it and we all are here to help you.

((((Trisha)))))
I will be praying for God to heal you and to give you strength to fight this.

Trisha, saying many prayers for you.

I am so sorry. Know that you will be in my prayers each day.

Trisha,

I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this, but you will undoubtedly receive lots of support here and from your family, too. I would be honored to pray for you.

You asked "If you were told you had 8 months to one year left, what would you do?" Well, as much as I admire and respect the people who choose to fight, I don't think I have it within me to follow that same course. Sure, I might feel differently if I were in that situation, but I "think" I would concentrate on palliative care, which focuses on advance planning and making the remainder of life as rich and meaningful as possible. Rather than trying to reverse or stop a disease, palliative care is more about managing symptoms and letting patients choose how their end of life will go. (Whereas hospice deals with the very end, palliative care is for months and sometimes years.)

But as I said, I admire people like ruthie who are up for the fight. And I wish the best for you, too. Hang in there! I believe attitude has a lot to do with outcome!

Trish, I have been there and done this, too. It is the the hardest thing that a person can hear when they tell you that you have cancer. It has been 17 years for me since that time and I have had many people that have been told they have only a short time to live and they are still here. My sister had various bouts with cancer and was told several times she didn't have long. She lived almost 15 years before leaving us. Don't ever give up. Try to keep a positive attitude along the way. You will have good days along with some bad. As the song goes, Live like you are dying.. We all should do this.. They have made terrific advances with cancer and it can be won more times then lost. I know you will be on the winning page. Keep in contact with all of us and know we are all here for you. I will say some special prayers for you and your family..

Love, Susie

Healing prayers and thoughts coming your way.

Carol

Trisha, I'm so sorry to hear this. I would definitely get a second opinion. I also have colon, liver and lung cancer. The colon and liver have been taken care of and I will have lung surgery in the future. I expect my doctors to have as much hope for my future as I have. I wouldn't settle for less. Like others said - take care of yourself and be positive. You can beat this!

I've been thinking about you since I read your post yesterday, and echo all the good words already given. Yes, seek another medical opinion....I have a sister and daughter who have had mastectomies and the usual rounds of chemo and radiation, and are doing well. I also had a mother who had a mastectomy and lived fifty years, so I know it can be beaten. My caring prayers and thoughts go with you.

Sending prayers and healing thoughts your way. I know family members who have been told the same thing from their doctors. They are still around and kicking years later! Staying positive really does help. NancyLouise

Hugs and prayers.....Stacy

Trisha, you are in my prayers.

Nothing to add except that you will be in my prayers as you embark on this unexpected journey.

Maura

My heart goes out to you. Having had colon cancer, I totally understand how you must be reeling from your cancer diagnosis. I will be praying for you. I have to agree with others who advise you to get a second opinion. I don't think you have an expiration date and I wouldn't want to be under the care of someone who thought I did. (((((((trisha))))))))

I like to hope, I would go for a second, and maybe (most likely) a third opinion. Then sit down with my honey, and come up with a strategy. It would all depend on the prognosis I guess.

Mad, yes, furious, yes, trying to get even... I don't know.

Above all, try to take every day in stride and make the best of it, I guess.

Of course, this is all guess work, as I am not in your shoes.

Lots of hugs, good thoughts, and best wishes are heading your way.

Moni

The first thing my husband and I did was to cry all the way home from the hospital..

Then, we came home and cried some more and told our children...you need to get the crying over and then start the fight...

We found a doctor we had confidence in and did everything he recommended...we got second and third opinions and then went with this doctor...

I'm still here after nine years...I didn't have breast cancer, I had kidney cancer, but you just have to do your best and follow what the doctors tell you ((hugs))

Trisha, I'm adding my prayers as well.

I agree with getting a second opinion.

We are all here for you, enfolding you with our prayers.

Oh Trish, I'm so sorry.

Lori

Trisha, hugs and prayers to you!

No advice, just (((hugs))).

Trisha....I just wanted to wish you strength and courage.
I also agree with many others that you should get a second opinion. Doctors ARE NOT always right.
Your mind is a powerful tool. Decide to fight this tooth and nail and make sure to get plenty of support from family, friends and support groups.
I am praying for you and your family.
((((((Trisha & family)))))

I second (third, fourth, fifth...) the idea of getting a second and third opinion--very important imo, not just for a time diagnosis but for your care as well. You know you have a ton of prayers here and I hope you'll check in again.

Like Rachelacey wrote, you don't have an expiration date and no one can tell you how long you have. So many people beat the odds and chances are you will be one of them!!!

Trisha, stay strong, not for your family, but for YOU! I am thinking GOOD thoughts for you for a POSITIVE outcome.

Trisha ~ I am sending warm and healing thoughts and prayers to you and your family. I wish you the strength, courage, optimism and determination to deal with this.

(((Nora)))

I can not imagine all the thoughts that must be running through your mind and heart right now. I hope that you will go for another opinion and that you will also be able to find a local support group. When a dear friend was diagnosed all of her friends came together to give her support while undegoing treatments etc. We helped with drives, food, visits etc., I hope you will find the same. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Oh boy, that's rough. Seems strange that they still give timelines because everyone is different.

I don't know your details but I too know of many who have beaten the odds - one friend is in her 10th year of what was inoperable lung cancer and she runs circles around me, literally.

Don't discount seeking treatment overseas because they have made many advancements these past few years in different countries.

I'll be thinking of you but work on keeping your general health in tip top condition once things settle down some.

I didn't read the other responses, but I have to answer your post. DON'T believe everything those doctors have to say. My first one told us I am a stage 4+ and there is no stage 5, goodbye and good luck. My current doctor has given my realistic hope of remission and a real life eventually. It's been a long haul since Nov 2, and will be a lot longer. A total of 18 chemo treatments and only 3 down, 15 to go. Maybe more surgery, radiology, and chemo again. Time will tell.

I hope you find some wonderful back-up emotional support to see you through these times, my family and medical team have literally kept me alive, especially emotionally alive through the hard dark painful times. Hugs, prayers, and blessings to you.

I am so sorry to hear your news. Please know that I will think of you often and send good thoughts and prayers too. Please check in with this wonderful group of people...the KT is like no where else on earth.

Let us hold you up if you feel the need...

Susan

My sister overcame her breast cancer battle, if she did, I bet you can too.
Her words> first your get sad, then you get mad, then you decide to kick this cancer in the butt!!

You go girl, I know you can manage this and come out a winner.

We are always here for you to talk to.

Trin

Trisha,
There isn't much i can say that hasn't already been said.
I just finished Chemo on the 5th of this month for BC.I had a bilateral mastectomy,followed by chemo,i didn't need radiation.

The day i knew i had BC i cried for over 4 hours,we did call the dr and ask for an anti anxiety med.

I have a good support system of family and friends,and i have a very good attitude,always have had that,and that's what got me thru the rough spots.

I'm sorry you had to join this sisterhood,but you can get thru this with faith,determination and a good attitude,"This too shall pass".

Only God knows when our time is up,dr's just guess.
Remember God is still on the throne,and prayer changes things!! I'll also add you to my prayer list.This is all doable,rough sometimes,but doable.
((((((((Trisha)))))))))
Kathi

Trisha, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this. Allow yourself a bit of time to be, as you said, "freaking pissed", and then get on with the business of kicking this thing to the wall. I am a firm believer in a positive attitude. My sister was diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, and the doctors told her she probably had no more than 8 weeks to live, and that treatment probably would be useless! After the initial shock and anger wore off, she told them that she accepted their diagnosis, but was too busy to die just then, and that she would let them know when they could start their 8 week countdown, and to bring on the chemo and radiation. We lost her last year, 16 years later! Fight back Trisha, fight! You'll be in my thoughts.

Elisabeth