My Delphinium that I transplanted late last year is re-emerging! :-) I have four Foxgloves that never died through the winter that I just separated and spread out a bit more from each other. It looks like I've lost a couple Lupine, but I sowed plenty more this year that will do more than replace them. I'll just miss having the taller, earlier blooms. The perennial Poppies, I have two that are pretty large, and another two that look kinda wimpy. I sowed more this year because I've decided I want a mass of them in the future. I sowed some annual breadseed types too, which I hope will fill in. I think some from last year will reseed as well. Verbascum "Southern Charm"....It almost looks like I'll never be without that plant! When I think I've dug it up and moved it, it's still coming up in the old place. I have two plants in the old spot and the one in the new spot is doing well too. I love it, so this is a pleasant surprise. Achillea-- I have 3 kinds and they NEVER EVER DIE! The clumps are so huge I have no idea what to do with them. They were green after the snow melted, and they don't care how cold it is. Tarragon-- anybody want some?? That and perennial Babys'Breath are absolutely insane. They take over like no bodies business. I have to divide them twice in the growing season to keep them in control. They are both starting their rampage already. Hollyhocks and Malva-- I'm wondering if I killed my black HHs. They aren't showing themselves, but the root won't come up either. I think it's alive, just slow. Malva Zebrina reseeded in the lawn. I dug it up and put it in the bed. The Melitta Altissima (I think that's the name), Vanilla Grass, Gaillardia, Cirisum, and Ligularia are showing signs of growth-- it's like they never died either (although the G. looked peakish for a while). I have one thing I can't identify that is popping up. I can't remember what I planted there, but I think it might be Maltese Cross. So now my challenge is to make sure these guys are all in the places I want them. I can't believe I have this many plants (and that I know the names of them)! Linda

Oh, please. I think it takes an incredible amount of gall for customers of a big-box retailer to kill, or otherwise let die, perennials, woody ornamentals, etc., purchased from said big-box retailers and then return to that store, dead plant in hands, and expect a refund for their purchase. Where is that old-fashioned ideal of assuming personal responsibility for the plant's demise and, thus, simply forgetting about it? When I kill a plant, I'm not going to expect the seller to replace it for me, unless the seller of that plant happened to be a professional landscaper who installed it in my garden, in which case I would expect him/her to assume the responsibility of replacing the plant if it should keel over. It's not as though you've purchased a defective Waring Blender from the merchant. If you kill the vegetation, please buck up and let it rest-in-peace without expecting a money-grubbing refund. The plant was probably robust and vigorous when purchased. If it weren't robust and vigorous, I'm sure you would have left it in the store. You win some; you lose some.

The plant retail business is not for me, thankfully. I've seen enough, like all of you, to know that most consumers are common-sense-challenged when it come to plants and keeping them alive. It's one thing for a plant to not flourish under correct conditions and ask for a refund, but people generally abuse their plants and expect garden centers to refund money. Most of the time, the plant is planted in the wrong spot, not hardy in this area, overwatered, or underwatered. A neighbor of mine bought 6 jasmine trees and planted them around his home outside. Of course they died over the winter becayse they are not hardy for this zone. He actually dug the dead trees up and returned them to the store. A friend of mine asked me to look at her dying shrubs and plants which she paid to have put in by a landscaper recently. Everything looked bone dry and I asked her how she was watering the plants. She indicated that she sprinkled water over top of them, but the thundershowers lately did the job so she didn't even have to water with the hose! Where do you begin with someone like this...LOL. I had to explain that overhead watering is not the proper way to water, how much water plants require, especially new plantings, and that pop up thundershowers only wet the soil surface and do nothing really for the plant. She was ready to call the landscaper and have the plants returned, geez. The hanging basket people get me the most. They water the plant and it comes out the bottom of the pot, but they really have let the plant dry out so much that the soil is repelling water down the sides and running out. They return the plant half dead and wonder why. Basically, they didn't know how to water the plant properly. Etc...etc...etc...The only good benefit of half dead returns is that they may get clearanced and I'll buy them to rejuvinate and plant at local schools and public places.

I love gift shopping & try to put a lot of consideration into the individual(s)/event involved. It just makes me happy when I see their faces light up when I hit it just right. I've had a few misses but, fortunately, not many. Christmas '09, my DDIL was tired & stressed. She'd had a difficult year with both her mother seriously ill & I had also contributed to the family's health concerns during '09. They had moved twice with 3 kids in one year, had a job relocation, & their car's engine blew up. For Christmas (and with lots of physical help from DH), I put together a "Here's A Few of My Favorite Things" basket for her including philosophy Hope In A Jar, Micro-Delivery Peel, Purity, a Godiva chocolate candle, a terry cloth wrap to hold her hair up when she gave herself a facial, etc., good quality nail files & clippers, Ojon Swa shampoo & conditioner, spent a few hours making her a hand-painted "Do Not Disturb" sign for the bathroom door, & tucked a package of cookies in with the other stuff. I wrapped the items in a set of new extra fluffy white towels & put everything in a Peterborough picnic basket. I had fun & she must have called me 6 times just to say what a great gift it was & that every time she hung that sign on the door & turned on the shower she knew she had to call again to say, "thanks". But, I have the time to fuss putting things together & because we don't have to buy for dozens of people I can comfortably spend a bit more per person. And, I also don't adhere to the rule of doing for everybody equally at the same time. So, I can spread out the expense over time so everybody gets something special...just not at the same time. About 10 years ago when our kids reached the age where they were starting their own families, taking on mortgages, & working long hours getting their careers established I wrote them each a letter explaining to them that it was my preference that instead of giving me gifts they each send me a hand written note telling me what had gone right during their week or share a funny story of something they'd recently experienced. Now, a decade later, I've got a wonderful collection of my kids' memories that someday when I'm gone they'll get to re-read. Each holiday they share, in these letters, personal things that don't get talked about when we're together. I don't respond to their letters, per se. I find a way to acknowledge something they've written if it's appropriate & always thank them repeating how much it means to me. But, it's lead to an unspoken closeness with my kids that I love & can tell that they feel the same by the words they write. I think responding to their letters would be embarrassing for them. It's just this little "secret" I have with all 3 of them. They tell me their fears but also what they've accomplished. I've learned more about each of them through these letters than in any conversation. I can't tell you how much I love getting their Christmas & birthday letters. Sometimes though they surprise ME! Once I received a cooking class gift certificate at Johnson & Wales from one of my kids as a gift tucked into his letter to me on my birthday. Along those same lines, I also told each of them when they had their own families I expected them to spend Mother's Day with THEIR family & NOT come to visit me. I had my time. Now, it's THEIR turn. I think it helped by giving them permission from me for what I knew they all would want...to spend Mother's Day with their own family. They each call me around Mother's Day but not always on the day itself. Gift giving/receiving can take so many different forms. It means something different to each of us. Problems come in when two people have different expectations. My deceased MIL was a tough one around gifts...I never was able to understand her expectations. As a result, I believe I failed to live up to her desires. I tried everything from handmade items to 18k gold...just couldn't get it right. I finally decided it wasn't my gift choices that were wrong. She just had some type of personal thing in her head around gifts that she didn't share so nobody could please her...maybe, that was the whole point. She wanted to believe we "couldn't get it right". Who knows??? I don't like gift cards although have been known to use them. On my grandson's 16th birthday I gave him a gift certificate for a year's gasoline. (It was an gasoline credit card I allowed him to use for a year.) He'd just gotten his driver's license & it seemed appropriate. Another time one of our kids was taking a get-away weekend to celebrate their wedding anniversary. I asked some innocent questions about their plans & then tracked down a nearby good restaurant, purchased a gift card, & made arrangements to have it placed on their pillow at the hotel. To this day they do not know how they ended up with that dinner. :) Anyway, I love giving gifts. Trying to fit the gift to the event/person is fun for me. I would hate gift shopping if I felt it was an obligation or that I had to somehow keep each present similar to what I got others. Nobody knows what to expect from me, nor when. Sometimes, they might receive an inconsequential Christmas present & then unexpectedly get a mystery package in February. Other times, they might get an elaborate Christmas present & just a book of Dunkin' Donuts certificates for a birthday. They all know though that as the world goes around and time passes their number comes up. Because I try to put a lot of personal thought into each gift I just am not able (mentally or physically) to come up with something just right for everybody just because the calender says it's a certain date. For those presents that are sorta obligatory like weddings of not too close friends, baby showers for the daughter of a second cousin...that kind of stuff...I stick to tradition. I've even given wedding present gift certificates...a gift certificate to a picture framing shop near where that person lived comes to mind. I didn't know the people at all...had never even met them. We used to receive lots of, IMO, inappropriate invitations to weddings of DH's staff's family members. Hard gifts. For a baby shower where the Mom to be isn't somebody I know well, I like to give a high quality blanket. Hard to go too far wrong, IMO. I usually buy white. I don't care if it gets dirty! I just make sure it's washable. lol Oh, also once I give a gift I forget about it. I don't care if somebody gives it away. If I were to care one way or another it would, IMO only, no longer be a gift. Gifts are not supposed to have strings attached to them. My Mom told me that gifts with strings were not really gifts...they were salaries. If my DDIL would have chucked last year's Christmas present I would have thought, "Well Tricia, guess you got it wrong that she was stressed, needed some alone time, and something to pamper herself in the process of being alone would be good. Think harder next time her number comes up!" :) This is a fun thread & in answer to the original question...it would not hurt my feelings if you returned a gift I'd given. I would probably feel badly that I'd failed to hit the right chord but that would be my fault...not yours. I never buy anything from a registry. I don't even look at registries. /tricia