Hey, I can't see the point of a silver cake server either. Somehow I've managed to serve a lot of cake without one, and it would be just one more piece of clutter cramming my kitchen cabinets (actually to be honest I would have sloughed it off years ago). If there isn't one borrow-able from a family member the catering company or the hotel will have a fancy server for the cake-cutting ritual. Trust me, the caterers or hotel staff are not going to use it to cut the cake up for serving - they'll be going at it back in the kitchen with real knives. BTDT. When DH and I were married, we had an extremely small budget but DH's family was quite adamant that we get properly married in church (and we were ruthless in paring the guest list down to 55, had it been up to them there would have been 250!). We eliminated a lot of "wedding magazine musts" that we thought were pointless and usually big wastes of money and the Wedding Police did not arrest us for doing so. We skipped the dancing because neither my father nor I could do so (he was an amputee and I was doing well to stay standing up at that point, I actually had to sit down through most of the actual ceremony) so that would have been very awkward, and we were actually very pleased that the parish hall's insurance did not permit serving alcohol because that cut costs a great deal and we would not have to deal with drunk guests and even worse drunk driving. I'll admit I can see a big TV and video game unit being rolled into one end of the ballroom after the cake and a dancing period and time to circulate and chitchat, and the B&G (still in meringue-gown and tux) giving the guests a Guitar Hero serenade. But then, several of my friends are hugely into Guitar Hero/Rock Band and that's what they'd do, and then they'd start inviting people to play with them (the new version of Guitar Hero, coming out 9/1/09 - just in time for them to start practicing! - is a four-player format) and sing along and cheer a good performance. Why can't a formal wedding reception turn into a heckuva party, anyway? Who says it has to stay all within the wedding books' notion of "romantic"? Why can't the groom's interests (especially since they ARE shared by the bride) be considered instead of pushing him into the standard artificial self-propelled-tuxedoed-mannequin groom role he doesn't seem to be happy about just so some great-auntie isn't offended? It's not great-auntie's wedding. It's B&G's wedding and G matters as much as B does. (And goodness knows great-auntie will probably have enough to chew on with all the tattoos anyway, since the B doesn't sound like the type to wear long opaque sleeves and high necks to hide them. LOL) People will be talking about that wedding long after the details of a more generic wedding have faded into a blur. I do like the idea of a beer (and perhaps wine) tasting bar, maybe instead of the standard hard-liquor bar. It'd likely be cheaper and probably fewer people would get wasted. (If one can't make it through a few hours without a hard-liquor drink, even with annoying relatives around, one has a problem.) Have they considered doing a double cake - one traditional froufrou cake and one fun-and-funky one like they do on the Food Network show Ace of Cakes? It seems like it would fit their personalities.

While those bridesmaid dresses were not something I would pick, I think they did look better in person but not on all the women, unfortunately. My photos were somewhat blurry. What I don't like about bridesmaid dresses in general is that unless all the women look the same, have the same body style, the same dress will not look good on everyone. This was noticeable at this wedding. I would love to see a wedding were the maids dresses could be made different for each person. With my wedding almost 29 years ago, my maid of honor was concerned about her arms. We had the seamstress make sleeves on her dress but not the others, which has spaghetti straps. It looked fine.

Son had a large wedding and reception but because it was in the afternoon, no dancing. But if we did have a song it would be Celine Dion's "Because You Loved Me." His small high school graduating class sang that to the parents then they gave the mom's a rose. Talk about crying! DIL knows what a close knit family we are and she loves how close I am to my son's. Now that she's a mother of a son she really understands the special bond between son and mother which is not like the old saying goes, "A son is a son until he takes a wife, a daugther is a daughter for the rest of her life." Heck, I still get onto my children! I'll always remember Barbara Bush speaking about Jr., "Just because he's the President doesn't mean he can put his feet on my coffee table!" lol

It is an important day for sure, but Auntjen made some great points. Here's some stuff we did for my daughter's wedding and it was a beautiful ceremony and great fun at the reception. - Dress on sale--that should be a given. Daughter made her own veil with a ring of flowers from Michael's and tulle. - Bridesmaids (only 2) dresses were made by groom's grandmother at minimum cost. - Kept guest list to mainly family (86 people). - Found a florist--a young girl with an impressive album of her work that did the chapel and reception (not in the same place) for practically nothing. It was beautiful. - Wedding was at 1 p.m. followed by the reception, so we had a couple of canapes (including some really good crab somethings) followed by finger sandwiches, beautiful strawberries dipped in chocolate, veg. platters and other finger food. Too early for a big dinner. - We served beer, wine, sodas, water and coffee. Mixed drinks were available, however. - The reception was held at a hotel on the water and the reception room had french doors leading out to a deck where they set up the bar. Nice water view. The hotel was new and they were looking for repeat business or hoping for new business from the guests. - No band. They didn't want one since they don't dance. There was music, just no band or DJ. - No favors. Don't know how that custom got started, but I don't buy it. - Splurged on the cake. Man, it was good! People are still talking about that cake today. There wasn't a single piece left and it was a big three layer. The whole thing was way under $2500. Granted it was 14 years ago, but it was inexpensive even for then. Whatever you decide, I hope you have a wonderful wedding and life. Enjoy!