He needs to see a doctor. They can measure cognitive loss. It doesn't matter whether it's called dementia or Alzheimer's. And there are treatments your FIL can be started on.

We had him on different meds a couple of years ago and they were discontinued because they were doing no good at all. He has just gotten progressively worse.

I don't think it matters which one either, but I suspect the problem is dimentia. Alzheimers normally begins much earlier in life and he would be much worse right now at his age, if he were able to survive it that long. I've seen more of what you describe in people of his age range. My dad passed away in 2005 at 100 years old and between 90 and 95, he displayed some of the symptoms you describe but was completely lucid in most other respects. He definitely did not have Alzheimers. But, as you say it doesn't really matter exactly and means he has to be monitored and trusted less to be on his own.

I agree, he should see a Dr. specializing in elder care. Does he live with you? Is there a special unit/home that cares for these seniors You can talk to the person in charge. As these people sometimes become very violent as time goes on it is NOT safe to have them in your home, especially if you are gone all day, or have children.
My Aunt got so bad she would chase people around with kitchen knives.

Actually Alzheimer's is seeing things no one else sees or not recognizing simple objects. This was a test given to my Dad.

My Mother has Dementia, her problem is short term memory loss. Not the same as Alzheimer's.

Gayle

Very easy simple test for Alzheimers. Draw a big circle. Ask the person to put numbers for the time on the face of the "clock". Alzheimers can not get the numbers in the correct order or position.

My Mother suffered from early onset alzheimers, and I was really stressing out; as early onset can be genetic. I went to a seminar at UW, and the very first thing they taught us was that.

Having said that, at his age, I agree what does it matter really.. Kathy

They're really just names, and sometimes Alzheimers is referred to as Alzheimer's Dementia.

What you're describing, though, are classic Alzheimer's symptoms. The statistics show that by age 90, almost anyone still livig will have some degree of Alzheimers disease.

My MIL became very obsessive compulsive with it--things had to be just so. She had patterns that she followed for almost everything--BUT she'd forget to put on her pants and roam around in her underwear. Or she'd ask me to 'take me home', when we were sitting in the living room of the house where she was born and had lived over 80 years.

Seriously, though, don't bother to argue with your sister. Everyone copes in their own way. If she can't face the term Alzheimers, it doesn't make any real difference does it?

He isn't living alone, is he? Is there someone keeping an eye out overnight? At some point, it's common for many Alzeimer patients to start roaming at night. Sometimes just in the house, sometimes they get outside and get lost.

And of course, he does need to be seen by his dr. There are new developments all the time in the treatment of the various kinds of dementia the elderly suffer--can't hurt to give some of the new meds a try.

Good luck--I always say Alzheimer's is a disease that affects the family far more than the patient. My MIL got so sweet and happy with it, while we all suffered.

Whatever the 'official' diagnosis, give your Alzheimer's Association a call--they'll be able to help with a lot of info, suggestions and often will provide someone to come in and sit a few hours a week to give the main care giver some time off.

At 90 years old you have a 50% chance of getting Alzheimers. My mother died of it in 2001 so I am very familiar with the illness. The medications don't really work. There are many books on Alzheimers, the 36 Hour Day is a good book. At this age he will just live with the memory loss and you will learn to live with it too. Does he live alone? He should not be living by himself.
Donna

The "seeing things that no one else sees" is very familiar, my mother would be reading things that she saw on the wall and also think someone was in the house after her. We lived next door and I had a baby monitor over there and my daughter found her shut up in her closet one time and huddled in her bathroom one time because she thought someone was after her. We eventually had to put her in a nursing home. She was in her 90s when she died.

One time when I was over there an old friend called and listening to her talk to the friend, the only clue the friend might have gotten from the conversation of her condition was when my mother mentioned one of their group and asked how she was. She had died some time before. I was just amazed listening to that mostly coherent conversation.

My FIL lives at home with my MIL. She is starting to have mobility problems and we've hired daytime help to fix meals, snacks, and make sure they're okay.

Sometimes his conversation is normal and responsive, but other times he's confused. This happens more when he has to make a decision or a choice.

The problem is that his constant touching, moving and relocating of objects is driving her mad especially since she doesn't feel that well. In addition, he's becoming mean and argumentative when he disagrees with something that's asked of him. Last week he threw a bottle of shampoo at the wall because he didn't want to shower or shampoo.

We have discussed their moving into assisted living and he's lucid enough to say he is not going to leave his home.
Unless he is completely unaware of his surroundings he will have to be sedated or restrained if they leave their home.

My MIL is willing and wants to leave the house, but he's keeping her there.

There isn't going to be a good solution to this situation, but we'll try to do the decent thing when the time comes.

I agree about not getting bound up by the specific terms. People cope in different ways. The most important thing is that your father continues to feel loved and cared for.

I took care of someone for *five years* who had Alzheimer's. It's a tough road.

The link below is a DVD I watched about people dealing with loved ones who had Alzheimer's and it helped me. I also wrote a review at this site, telling of my own experiences.

Rose

Here is a link that might be useful: DVD on Alzheimer's (at amazon)

We moved my mother into a retirement home when she was diagnosed. She did not want to move either. We had no other choice so we just moved her. She started out with her own apartment and I decorated it all in Laura Ashley. She liked the way it looked and was not upset. The tough part was after 7 years she wandered out and we had to put her in the nursing home. That was really bad and did not work out well at all. She always refused to bath and brush her teeth. Everything was a constant struggle. The only comfort I can offer you is you are lucky he is 91.
Donna

Sounds very much like Alzheimers to me. My mother had it. She was not beligerent or compulsive but some of the other symptoms are very familiar to me. No, I don't think it really matters. Some people are just afraid of the word, "Alzheimers". It's such a terrible disease.
There are a few good drugs out there, but they only work for a short time.

OF interest to some of you ladies may be what happened to my wife at 70 years. She developed Lung Cancer, then later on had dementia for two days only. The reason they knew she had dementia was the fact she was unable to put on or unhook her Bra. They become very inept. She became very mean. The medicine they gave her really worked. FYI

Alzheimer's is dementia. It's just one of many things that can cause dementia (the umbrella term for memory loss and confusion). Your FIL's anger and violent outburst sound Alzheimer's, but I'm no expert.

My DH had progressive dementia for ten years before he died. The doctors never did agree on what caused it, but they agreed he didn't have Alzheimer's.

Susan

Alzheimers is a form of Dementia. My mother has Alzheimers, (or has been diagnosed as such) Actually they can't positively test for it while the person is living.
Dementia is a general term.
My mom has had it for about 12 years now. At first it showed as her not remembering things, having panic attacks, and becoming less social. Now she very rarely speaks, walks only when assisted and is now living in a long term care facility.
Our local Alzheimers Association and Community Care were a huge help to us. They can help arrange for inhome care, and tons of info and support. My Mom lived at home for 11 years with my brother until he found it too difficult to care for her.
Don't hesitate to call them!
My mom has some good days, and then there are some that are not so good. I treasure each one.

My mother was diagnosed with dementia by a psychiatrist (who was whackier than she was IMHO). The first symptoms were her seeing things. That part of it got progressively worse. She had women on her screened porch, a little girl that "wouldn't eat anything". Mom even made her homemade noodles and chicken (we kids were never too sick for that meal). She lived with DH and me until she wanted to move back to Indiana. Eventually she stopped talking altogether--which was sort of a blessing because she developed a really bad potty mouth after she got sick. She, who had never sworn in her life now swore like a sailor.

Whatever you want to call it, it's a heartbreaking disease for the family. We children shed many, many tears after visits.

I don't really know if my parents had Alzheimer's or not, but I do know they both suffered from MID....multi-infarct dementia. My mother also had Pick's disease, which is another form of dementia. I suspect that by the time their dementia was well underway, both developed Alzheimer's, as well; they were both in their mid-80's when dementia became painfully obvious. I decided it didn't matter what the precise diagnosis was; it's all heartbreaking.

You say your FIL and MIL are living alone? with just daytime help?

Not good. Especially if she's starting to have physical problems.

Let me just tell you a couple of stories--not to terrify you, but to open your eyes. An older couple my husband knew were living alone like that. One day he visited, and found the woman totally black and blue--all bruised up from head to toe. She'd promised to keep her husband home--then one night, she woke in the middle of the night, to find her husband battering her with something heavy (I forget what)--he thought she was an intruder--she was badly injured and, of course, had to put him in a home at that point. It's not unusual for Alzheimer's patients to think their loved ones were strangers (and evil ones at that).

Another couple I know--he has Azheimers, and one day she had a major stroke. Thank goodness he was able to call for help--but he didn't do it right away, and she's in really bad shape--will be months in a rehab facility, if not longer.

Another Azheimer's couple? The husband was injured. The wife called her daughter's work (thank goodness, again)--because she 'couldn't remember the number for 9-11'.

What would MIL do if FIL left the house in the middle of the night? Would she be able to follow him and get him home? What if she had a medical problem? Are you certain he'd be able to get her help? and you really cannot predict how the disease will progress. He could be one person today, and someone totally different tomorrow.

Please, don't allow your parents to be alone at this point in time. If you can't convince them to move to an assisted living facility, then you need to start having younger family members stay with them. Or another alternative that might work well for you--how about hiring one of the ladies (usually from one of the islands) to come in and live with them. You can go through an agency, so that they're checked out, they're very reasonable. Usually they can stay for about 6 months on their work visa, then they often have a friend or relative who can come and take over until they're eligible to return.

My mother was furious when we put her in the nursing home, but it had to be done. I was a widow and was working to support my three girls, so even though I lived next door it didn't work out for her to stay in her home. The first home we put her in had a woman who yelled nasty words all the time and my mother said "Oh dear, I'm learning new words."

After a few weeks a vacancy opened up at the home where we wanted her to be and she really was so forgetful that she became acclimated quickly.

Come to think of it, I am almost to the age when she went into the nursing home!!! I will be 79 next month.

marygailv,

Yu know wot - 79 ain't so bad.

Ez long z ya hav all yer fakltees.

ole joyful

Thanks, joyfulguy, my fakltees are about the only thing that are working well. I am the one in the household to remind my 52 y.o. daughter of her appointments, etc.
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