I am getting things potted up for the swap. I am focusing on bringing a smaller number of larger trades this year. I stopped by a nursery to find some cheap pots and talked them into selling me some of their 6" square pots (probably about 1/2 gallon ones) for $.20 each. Last year Oakland Park had nice 4" ones for $.09 each, but they didn't carry them this year. So far I have rhubarb, chocolate mint, lemon balm, spiderwort, lamb's ear, evening primrose, Golden Tiara hosta, misc. var. hosta, and Michaelinsis daisy potted up into 1/2 gallon or larger pots. I also have quite a few small starts of Penny's Worth daylily, a nice little daylily with yellow flowers. It kind of looks like a miniature version of Happy Returns. I also have plenty of tomatoes. I have about 60 varieties started this year. Some I only have a few of, but many of them I will have extras of to bring to the swap. We will be potting up some other things to bring as well. We usually bring the dogs into Columbus with us when we visit. But I don't see how they will fit in the van with all of the plants. It looks like we will have to leave them with friends for the weekend. We are looking forward to seeing everyone on the 15th. James

"I'm confused. If the relationship has been sexual why did you ask that first question ... Have you ever had a relationship (NOT sexual) with a younger man??" A one-night-stand would qualify as a "sexual relationship" with a younger OR older man. I wanted to clarify, and wasn't interested in anyone's 'one night.' "On the first visit, his Mother introduced me as her daughter-in-law!" He moved back to DK and had told his entire family about me/us, and obviously the word 'marriage' came up. I don't find this odd at all. "It will be 2 years in Oct. since I last saw him on his 'summer visit' and we had a wonderful dinner." Did I ever insinuate *he* wasn't having sex? As far as i'm concerned he *still is* a free man who I just happen to be in love with. Many women equate sex as love. Many men equate sex as sex, and that includes married men who stray, but still love their wife. I never had expectations of him 'holding out', nor will I until we've come to a decision where this is going, if anywhere. "There *will* be a relationship first, as we still probably don't know each other as well as we should. " I never implied we *didn't* have a sexual relationship. mrsmarv, I myself am very cautious, and have 'feelers' for people or situations. Maybe i'm too close to this one to have inclinations 'there's something more behind this', but i'm not one who thinks negatively, either. "at the beginning of our relationship I asked if he's *sure* he's straight and not gay or a homosexual. We've talked about it very openly..." We were having dinner in an area known for having a large number of gays living there. As we were walking back to the car, a man turned around and checked out his ass. He also, very openly, said it had happened in DK also. I have a son who is gay, and also worked with 2 gay men where I was last employed. Out of curiosity I asked my son's opinion, and he immediately said his 'gaydare' wasn't picking up signs. The two men I worked with, and introduced him to, said absolutely not. He not a big man, is attractive, and has a nice physique, and these may be physical characteristics certain gay men look for, but not all. Not to be too suggestive, or blatant, but there have never been any suggestions of anything other than normal sex. Bisexual? Anything's a possibility, but one may also have a preference if that's the case.

I am not my husband but I can tell you why he would not consider the sex and times I offered> He felt that i was using sex as a blackmail to get him to wait on things he did not want to wait for in the community. He said we were trying to Ransom his life and he was not paying the ransom when The sex did happen it was in no way the way i wanted in 2013> He had just come home from three years of rehab after MRSA in his spine and its complications. Had been in a stress center for two weeks. because of an incident that happened in the Rebab in 2012 when his father told him he again thought he was going to have his way when what he was really going to do was shut his face and just accept what was decided for him and that did not include a vacation ever, He flattened his father with a stainless steel bed pan to his face and he threw a full urinal at me telling me i had nothing ever to say about holidays and vacations. HE was done and would kill the first person that got in the way of his rights when he was out of rehab. When He got out of the stress center it was on the worst possible evening, I was getting ready to go to an Awards dinner as a promise to his mother, father, and his fathers best friend. I started out of my room and ran right into his chest and His first comment home was good i was ready to go out, He had not been out in 31 years. Where were we going!. He Knew full well we did not expect him home that day. I broke down Crying telling him I had promised that evening six months before and I could not add him to the table at that late hour. He just said well it looked like His parents and his fathers friend may as well get used to broken promises just as he had the last 31 year. Back off this or that and i promised him we would have the sex life and vacation as well as the holidays he earned and wanted and then when i came time to keep my promise where did he end up again. Filling for someone else taking his time and I would make the same stupid promise again expecting him to fall for it. He said Now the Bill was due and I was keeping 31 years of promises to him before I even thought was keeping any to any one else.. I was trying to hand him a 100 and get him to meet us anywhere he choose after the event. I just wanted a Civil discourse why things had happened as they had> He was not going to permit it and ripped my outfit to shreds and had his way about sex. Then he went after his fathers friend when he arrived and called my husband a crip and told him to get out of his way he was entering our home< He Through the man over the rail on our deck landing him face first in the Drive right in front of his fathers car. We think he was intending the man land in his mother and fathers lap. Over the years for everytime he w3as interfered with from @001 to 2009 he made sure somebody hurt over it even if he had to ambush some body. I Never understood why when his father and others used weapons to force him to work the holidays, Or when His father put his passport in his safe deposit to make him stay and work vacations Why he could not just Do as was requested and Take the times offered in exchange Instead of wait until the incident was finished and he worked then he would show up with a machinist sledge and break parts of people for daring to hold a weapon on him. I saw what he did to one man who thought drawing a pistol when he appeared at his home was going to stop his pain, My husband shattered the right hand, his arm up to the shoulder bad enough he lost his arm, all because he had wanted a holiday off and they forced him in at shotgun point. IN 2014 On Memorial day his father offered him 200 to stay away until we called him home. Before the end of the day he's taking a reservation my name was on away from another friend and telling his father he did not care if he was invited where I was invited he was to His father slapped him and called him stupid, His father flew over the kitchen island with the full force of a full fisted backhand breaking his jaw. He Had To be stopped from making the doorman at the club from getting his face ground into the pavement after pushing him to a public sidewalk and into the street. On the fourth of July that year they used Ketamine in a drink he had and Dumped him 30 miles out of Tow intending tio go back and get him later, HE Did Nor wait to embarrass everyone sending state police in To Search for the drug after they pumped his stomach. Two Friends were arrested in front of their families wives and children. They called it a joke, The police called it abduction with intent to do bodily harm and not a joke dumping a man in the middle of a county road and leaving him there drugged not with his consent. If My husband would have just talked to us then those men would be home with their kids instead of paying in prison for a joke. IN 2015 We were going on a cruise to Cancun My Husband Did Not care he was again not invited withy his rule if i was then he was.. It Made his father so angry he intended to use a ball bat to send him back home and stop hi9s defiance. His Father was hit so hard with an Upper cut before he took his swing it broke his neck. Latter in 2015I was offering the First Christmas dinner as a married man in 33 years, at home, To keep tensions down I gave him his plate and told him to go out to the barn and eat out there and if he wanted more I would get it at the back door He hit me in the face with the full plate yelling at me he was not some dam hand to e given charity. It Was his table , the food he had supplied and he was not eating in the cold barn.. He made everyone leave under the barrel of a 30 30 and I just stood and cried thinking why did it always have to be so hard to gain just a little cooperation. IF just one year we could have gone without defiance about sex, his work, and time out of the plant I think something that he wanted could have been worked out. I know after we ran into the problems within two years of his return home about vacation time, We had come back from ROME with a plan to Find A vacation starting after the New Year in 1988. I was thinking a nice beach and hotel for the same two weeks off in time it was just six months away. He Wanted me to keep the two promises i had made the last two years About sex And The mos5rt recent was any time, any where and any way he wanted, I Would Be both a Willing sex partner and travel companion if he stayed behind for that girl and her lazy fiancé to marry in ROME. I was not expecting him to want to drop everyone else at his fathers house and want to point the nose of the Van to Wyoming and His Grandfathers where he was from 1239 miles to the west. He had been hounded to go out there with me to introduce me. I just did not want a three week road trip after traveling all night from Rome, Every suggestion we mad for six months away was shot down. He Said did we realize he had not even seen the3 sun in seven years, What would he look like on a beach, probably a lobster. He got in the sun the first time In 2014 and he burned within five minutes so bad he blistered. I had no idea years ago when he left the Boats that sun was now a allergy for him.

SamKaren, let's be honest. What you were hoping for was your BF to come to his senses and turn things around. I think you need to read the book, "He's Just not That in to You." I am wondering too, if after his infatuation wore off, he is not interested on sharing you with other men. Although accepting at first, this may have become a turn off and you are no longer a priority. He has now made his feelings clear, no doubt about it. You should not be sitting home the entire weekend. Start looking in to things you can join. Food pantry, is there a local bowling club, a lunch bunch, where singles meet for lunch? Don't forget too, that making friends with other women often leads to more of a social life and possibly men. You like cats. Is there a cat club? Volunteer at a shelter? Are there young people in your building? If you are basically shy, it's hard to put yourself out there, but try to strike up conversations so you get to know who your neighbors are. This could lead to one friend in your building. The truth is, some of us have to work really hard to have a social life. Others are magnets and are included in more things than they can handle. I remember years ago when my youngest was in grade school. She realized that she needed to make friends and so we went through her class list and arranged play dates. It was interesting that no one refused, yet these same girls just didn't think to invite her first. Things greatly improved when she realized she didn't have to sit back and wait for things to happen. SamKaren, you are still relatively new to your area. Conversation can start with where is the cheapest dry cleaner, or the best Chinese food etc. Don't give the negatives here any thought. When you come here, it is what often happens. I have asked advise here and was shocked at how many people took the opposite view. I thought I was clearly right and came to vent! Yet, if so many agreed, it was time for me to see things differently. Some come across in a mean way, or one person couldn't understand why I posted the problem at all! Nothing should be insignificant. Again, for those of you offended by whatSamKaren might post, do not open them! We are not just about photos, recipes and talking about the weather!