huh, I thought it was just my imagination! it feels like something's just WRONG this year. I'm guessing it's because of the wild weather swings we've been having, but still, everything leafy just looks absolutely miserable in ways I've never seen before. I'm pleased to be getting normal looking flowers on two of my brugs, but others just flat out refuse to grow leaves, much less buds. more than half of them are less leafy than they normally are in like, late march or early april. but perennials and wild plants that are in-ground are looking the worst. my boyfriend's grandmother's lilies were brown and rotten at the base and the flowers were deformed (she's grown them for many years and never seen them like that), and the leaves of the skunk cabbage in the woods here that are normally thick and lush? are all tiny, yellow/brown and broken looking. I just can't figure it out! bizarre.

Thanks ya'll :). I just got back in from out of town and when I looked at this thread again, the center part of the headboard kind of reminded me of a crown, LOL. Well....he IS a little prince :). My hubby is a big guy so the king sized bed was a must as far as he was concerned. He doesn't like his feet hanging off the end of the bed. That's actually my husband's pillow. At night, Pepe sleeps under the covers with his back against my back and his head on my pillow. He's a good snuggler. He has no clue he's not a wolf though......even wolves have to sleep somewhere! Our bed is very high and he used to not be able to get up there by himself so I put a cedar chest with a blanket on top of it at the foot and he has no trouble now.....as you can see. The cat doesn't appreciate it much though, LOL since Pepe is now able to sometimes interupt HIS naps ;). When I die, I hope I come back as one of my animals! Kristi

I would definitely talk to the manager at the store where you bought the shower head - every single salesperson should know if they have any familiarity with what they are selling at all - that a rain shower is no substitute for a regular shower head. THey should work with you to replace it with something acceptable. You did not go to HD or shop online and if these bricks and mortar stores want to stay in business they need to make good on the customer service promise - remind them of that. I too thought they looked cool when they first came out and then I went to a couple boutique hotels that had them installed - TG I had that experience before we started our renovation. I also have thick wavy hair and it was ridiculous even trying to wash my hair. We have a very simple shower head and I love it - there is a name for it - it is basically controlled by a lever and has no fancy massage settings - just a nice single function steady stream - we chose one with 8 water jets. Looks kind of basic and old fashioned - not really a design statement but very functional. I can be in and out with rinsed hair in minutes. I did put a rain shower in our pool bath - it comes straight down from the ceiling and it is just for quick kids rinsing after swimming in the pool. It is also our powder room bath for guests so the look was definitely part of the decision. THere is a handheld for anyone wanting more pressure but it is definitely not a regular use shower. I wish you the best of luck. It is so disconcerting when you spend all this time effort and money and it falls short of your expectations.

I feel badly reading your email. It's not a good feeling when you so need help and the person you love doesn't recognize it and react. There are probably parts of you that resent your husband right now that he's not reacting to the situation, that he's not stepping up to the plate, especially since you know he is capable of doing so. I am sure that's frustrating and hurtful - and hard to get past. I am a person that has trouble asking for help and when I do, I expect the person to react. The resentment I feel just having to ask, I can't quite explain. Admittedly for me, I expect my husband to be a mind reader. But the reality is, I know another person can't be that "gifted" but in my mind, I know I have felt this way. Some times guys just don't get it. And they literally need it spelt out for them, which sometimes in my mind X's out the good that they do b/c I had to ASK for it. I agree whole heartedly with that advice on communication. As hard as it is to admit when you need some help ... and as hard as it is to say the you are hurting - you need to do it. BUT how you do it is key. In a screaming argument, isn't the best of times for someone to really listen to you (I know from experience). But I think with your situation, some actions might need to take place before a real conversation can happen where there is a positive connection for both of you. Now, having said all of the above, I hope you realize that I do understand where you are coming from. However, I'm in a different boat (feeling more and more like I'm on my own island as I can't find ANYONE out there feeling the same feelings I do) ... my situation is opposite. My husband is very helpful and doing all the right things on a daily basis with helping around the house. This is our first. We haven't been intimate since I told him we were pregnant. As much as I love him ... it hurts a lot not having that connection. It just doesn't "feel right" ... it really makes me sad. I'm sure there are a bazillion reasons why we don't -- tired, working too much, etc. But I feel myself making comments, not nice ones, and part of it I can't explain. I do get mad at myself and try to figure out where this "mean streak" comes from b/c I'm really not a mean person by nature. It's like this underlying frustration I feel ... I hate it. I hate the lack of connection ... and I hate how I react to that. Even when my husband does something nice for me, at some point I'm making a comment about something, critizing him. He's left feeling hurt, I'm sure and frustrated and definitely not wanting to be intimate with someone like that. And I'm left feeling frustrated and feeling terrible about myself for reacting that way. Sex truly is a big piece of a relationship. Sometimes it's used in horrible ways, keeping it from someone as leverage ... I don't believe that's the case with me. But it does feel like I'm being punished, though I know he doesn't mean it. I've talked to him about it -- I remind him how long it's been. I'll even mention that I'm in the mood ... or call him at work and try to say something flirty. We come home from work and nothing ... sometimes I think it's because I'm not the best wife, i.e. my picky comments and I admit I'm not the best housewife. I could be better organized ... I'm definitely not one of those girls that does the cooking every night (he mainly does but sometimes we share) and I don't go ironing his shirts for work. That's not how our relationship has been. I work two jobs so I'm gone more hours during the week than he is. I guess I'm trying to get you to see the perspective on the other side. I guarantee if your husband knew how much he was hurting you, he'd hate it. I know I do. I may not say that to my husband, but I do hate when I'm mean. though I like the idea of going away for a weekend with marriage counseling, that might be tough depending on your guy. If he's up for that, you have a HUGE bonus as not many are open to that. If he'd be willing to do that then absolutely go for that. If that would be too much, I think you should clear an afternoon and evening. If someone could take your 4 year old for an overnight that would be perfect. Plan something that you used to do before any children - whether it's a restaurant you used to go to or whatever ... something that brings that connection back to when you first got together. The key here is to communicate what you are planning, meaning say to your husband, "I am planning something special for next week" For the dinner or activity, just enjoy each other. Avoid talking about work, bills, household stuff ... put yourself in a good frame of mind, i.e. focus on fun things - focus on things you used to do -- things you used to find fun together -- then, this one might be hard but focus on 3 things that you love about your husband (again keeping out the negative, they do have a way of creeping in). Bring up these good times, reminisce about them together. Then slip in, "oh I love how you did this or that" .... thinking if you're anything like me, that's going to be hard but force yourself to do it at least 3 times. BUT catch is, you CAN NOT follow it up with, but you don't do that anymore, or why don't you do that anymore (again, something I've learned/still do and it's counterproductive). Be the first to reach your hand out to his. I know, it might be hard especially since how you have been feeling. BUT this is a reminiscing night, you're focusing on the ONLY POSITIVE things in the past that brought you together, and the things you love about him. I'm pretty confident you can focus on 3 things to get yourself to reach your hand out and grab his. I'm not sure your reasons for not being able to have sex. If it's a health thing that you can't then of course, that is off limits. BUT if it's uncomfortable, possibly there is something else you could try, i.e. another position or "other"things to try. I think the key here for you to communicate that it feels uncomfortable BUT that you think having a physical connection is important and you are willing to be "creative" if he is willing to be patient ... let him know that you can't guarantee anything but that you'd like to try. I'm hopeful that after an evening of connecting with your husband at a basic level that you will get some "feel good" feelings and genuinely want that physical connection yourself. Again, hard part -- keep your mind focused on positive, no matter what. Reality is, you don't want a divorce ... you don't want to lose your husband when you have two children with him. You want the husband you had earlier. I believe you can get there ... but it'll take effort on your part. Relationship are all about the give and take ... right now, it might feel like you are giving a lot by doing something like this. But put that aside, because if it works, the feelings you'll receive in return will far outweigh the effort you put in. best of luck to you ....