My friend confessed to me that she was having an affair. I kept quiet for a year. Everytime we got together she would be pissed off when I told her the guy she is cheating with is a liar. He is married and manipulates her everytime. I have seen her cry of desperation, do crazy stuff and yet she lies to her husband which is my good friend all the time. Sometimes she even uses me to cover her late nights or else. I know the guy she is cheating with superficially. I have made clear to her that I dont like him and I don't approve what she is doing. My girlfriend says that she loves this guy. So I told her if you love him then let your husband free so he can find his own happiness. She is been lying for over 3 years now. Recently he called me up to ask me for a Divorce Lawyer, when he called me he was so pissed because she was seen with this dude by his friends. When he asked me questions for more I wanted to, I couldn't lie. I don't condone dishonesty, especially when you have had thousand of opportunities to come clean. To make this short, she is a good girl just lost, he is a good guy but he can't seem to get her attracted to him anymore. He confronted her and the bomb was out. She of course hates me because I did tell. I am not a kiss and tell person but if someone comes to me asking for questions you better believe I will give answers. If I was in his situation, I would be very very hurt that not only my spouse was cheating but also my friends were aware, so humiliating! Truth is not for everybody and some people would rather die with a secret than to face an ugly situation. I have cheated before and I have been cheated on too. I know by personal experience that nothing is more satisfying that knowing you are true, you are honest and people make life choices. I feel sad I lost her and I would do anything to have protected her if this was good for her, but that other m@#$%^ Fu^&*( lied to her, used her. Friends help each other but also speak with the truth. That's my 20 cents. PS. If you do something, whatever that might be, there will be consequences. Good Luck to you all!

SHE MUST GET OUT. Period. This person could kill her - I am not exaggerating. The sooner and faster the better. Physical abuse is a deal breaker. Having said that, I realize that she won't leave him on her own volition...right now. But here are some suggestions: 1) Do some research for her - find a women's shelter that puts women in protective care and keeps their whereabouts confidential...the kind that basically helps them "disappear," and offers counseling on a daily basis. Have it ready if/when she's ready to consider it. 2) Unless she is convinced that she must leave, she will almost certainly return, even if she were to leave for awhile. Find a counselor in your area who specializes in women's issues and abuse issues, and encourage (STRONGLY and CONTINUALLY encourage) her to visit. 3) Call the cops. Ask them what you can/should do as someone who knows what's going on. They can advise you on what - if anything - you may be able to do if the situation you described happens again. 4) Keep her trust and be her friend so that you can be her confidante. You may be the only person she's telling and she needs to be telling someone. Even if you "push" a bit to get her out of her home, always let her know how much you care about her, and that you're there for her. Get her talking about the abuse (ask her how she feels when it's happening, ask her if she thinks it's okay for a husband to beat his wife, etc.). Also talk to her about how she sees herself - chances are she has a very low view of herself and you can help "re-frame" her views by telling her how valuable you think she is. Sometimes an "a-ha" moment is possible for a person when they begin to hear themselves talk. And keep telling her - with as much urgency as you can - that she should never be treated this way by anyone and that she needs to get out ASAP. 5) Find out if she's talking to anyone else about this. If she has family that are reliable and who know what's going on, consider putting together an "intervention," wherein everyone sits her down for a "come to Jesus" talk about the danger she's in. It's good that you want to be her friend. She's lucky to have you.

Iam going though the same thing. He complains about everything my daughters do. My 2 daughters 20 and 30 and my 7 Grandbaby. He does not talk to them for days. Every night when we go to bed he starts to bitch about them from they eat all the food, they r lazy and wht doesn’t my oldest get child support I tell him that is her business not ours. Well a couple week ago he told them to start paying rent 300.00 a each. They only make 9.00 my 20 pays To own car payment insurance and credit cards, my 30 old pays her bills and the day care bill of 400 a month. I told him they can’t afford that he don’t care and if they don’t like it they move out. He get mad if I buy anything for them. He says u always get defensive I tell I don’t I just don’t know why u treat them like that. They don’t disrespect you. In the other hand they stay in there rooms to not bother you. If they come to talk to me he starts asking wht do they want. He like making fun of my granddaughter( calling a cry baby) and my 20 (making fun of her weight)I tell him to stop and plays it off like I am kidding. Well two weeks ago my daughter told me she can afford the 300 she said I can afford 150. I thought buy telling her to go speak to her step dad he would listen and respect that she came to him and. It to me. I was listening to her explain the situation well he said that’s not my problem and just kept repeating it. Well she started crying and she told him. Why do u treat us like dirt. W you hve never like us and I hate the way u treat mom. Yes she did get load then I stepped in. He lost it and told to pack her stuff and get out. Then told me it’s them or me in front of her. She apologized to me saying she does not what to ruin my marriage. Well my girls r moving out at the end of the month but that is still not good enough. Now he is saying I don’t want them to come over. I was really. Now my son came to visit and he is telling me he is not staying here. I told him he is staying this week to help her sister with daycare. He was who gave him permission I was what. It turn into a huge fight. He said they do what ever they want to do. Mind me he has not spoken one work to him cause he is still mad at my youngest for the fight they had. He told if u don’t tell him to leave buy Sunday Iam going to. I was wtf. Those r my kids and this is my house. He said again Iam tried we should separate i was like look if that’s why u want go ahead. I know u hate my kids. He stayed quite and goes into the room and sulks. Iam i wrong for defending my kids. They have never disrespected him. Iam so over this fight with him.

Side topic: Salgal, it's a shame your ex didn't tell his half-sib WHY he dropped her. She must have been terribly hurt. What you've described is the natural familial attraction that bonds families. When it doesn't take place between young children within their natural families, and they first meet as adults, the love and familiarity sometimes feels sexual. At my search and support group we always warned reuniting adoptees and birthfamily members about this. Knowing that these powerful feelings could be confusing helped to prevent some terrible heartaches. Where people misinterpreted the feelings and acted on them sexually, it destroyed the development of a genuine family bond. An adoptee, having lived a whole life knowing he is 'different', separated from his genetic kin, is especially vulnerable to mistaking powerful feelings of connection. (This is entirely separate from an adoptee's love for the adoptive parents and siblings.)