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husband a financial nightmare!

15 years ago

Hi everyone,

Can you stand another "what should I do story?" My husband and I have been married 5 years, together 8. He has 5 grown children and 9 grandchildren. I have one son who is mentally ill, seriously, and lives in a home I bought for him a number of years ago.

In any event, my husband kept a secret post office box, where he got his mail. He ran up tens of thousands of dollars in credit debt, and decided to file bankruptcy, this is at least the second time he's done this, maybe three times.

In any event, he has lied to me, I honestly believe he cheated on me, while I took care of his elderly Mother in my home.

When he filed bankruptcy, he used my homes as assets, which they were not. I've owned my home for 18 years, the other home, the little house my disabled son lives in, I've owned for 6+ years.

He doesn't pay any mortgage payments, he has lost everything he had, he sold my new pick up, 32K, and he sold it for 18K, forged the title.

I want to sell my house, and move. I don't know if I want to stay married. I adored my husband, with every part of my being. I have given thousands to his kids, helped them in everyway possible, taken his grandchildren on camping trips, bought their gifts, they are wonderful kids, as well as their parents. With the acception of his daughter, who never calls me unless she wants something.

I've done all the graduation parties, baby showers, you name it.

Now, with my son's illness and my husbands spending problem. All my savings are gone, my beloved ski boat, gone, my brand new camper-gone, my new truck- gone. All I have left is my homes, which are at risk because of him using them as HIS assets.

Our romantic life if almost non-existant, I told him quite bluntly, that if he did not start acting like a husband, I would bring in a "stunt-double" to do the work for him.

He then put out, his comment, "all I have to do to keep you happy is give you a 'jump' two or three times a week."

I read many of the postings, are men that dumb? Our problem is, we give them all that we have to give, and once they've used us up, we're trash.

My previous husband was a wonderful man, good to me, good to my son, excellent employee, we had a wonderful life together. He passes away, so this is all his fault.

I am partially disabled, so I can't work a full- time job until I adjust my education. I did have a position with the California office that I applied for, excellent benefits, wages, etc. I was dismissed from the position because they do not hire you if you have been involved in a bankruptcy. That's how I found out my husband used my homes and income, etc.

After all of this, he started taking credit cards out in his son's name, ran up several thousand dollars in debt, his son who is in college had no idea, I told him, after my husband refused to close the accounts.

I have no idea of what's next. My son would end up in some horrible flop house if I lost his little house. The mentally ill in this country do not have many options, and live on a very small income. His little house at least assures him a decent roof over his head. Plus something to call his own. He can afford to live there and when I die, it will be paid for.

Would you cut your losses and just be rid of someone like this? I had him go to therapy with me, (under the threat of divorce) he went three times and stopped.

I am terribly afraid of losing everything I've worked my entire life for. He's 68 i'm only 51, and have a long way to go yet.

This man, left me 2000 miles away from home, alone in a hospital, just so he could go home and not be nconvenienced, I was terribly ill, my heart would not beat fast enough, they didn't know why, so they kept me, and he left the very day I was admitted. Devotion? I wouldn't have done that to my dog.

He opts to sleep with the poodle, rather than me, I've asked him to put the dog in the other room, so there was room in the bed for me, he refuses.

What would you do? I've talked until I'm blue in the face. It doesn't sink in. He works a part-time job, and is gone everyday, working sometimes, sneaking off to play golf, or whatever other times.

What is your impression? This is just the tip of the iceberg.


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