Hi Peg It is good that you have gotten things off your chest, by putting all that down. That is probably all that you wanted to do, just want someone to listen. So I want to tell you that I did listen. You have done your best, try to enjoy the blessings that you have.

First of all you need to rule out a UTI. This could be part of the problem. It does not matter that she can hold it over night, she is not stimulated when she is sleeping. You need to realize that not all dogs are the same in this category. Some get it within a week or less, others take longer. *Pick a system, any system so you and pup wont get confused. This one has a good success record, and it will give you a good start. System. *EVERY SECOND (donÂt argue)! supervision is a must when pup is not crated. Have a leash on her so you can easily grab her and take her out when you need to. Set a timer so you can take her out about every 30-40 minutes, then GRADUALLY (over the course of a few weeks) increase the time you take her out by about 20-30 minutes. Increasing the time by to much confuses the dog. This is a MAJOR mistake lots of humans make when trying to house train a dog. *Immediately after she comes out of the crate, take her out. Stopping to put on your shoes is a major mistake. Get pup used to the commands "go poo" and "go pee". These commands should be a must, they are incredibly helpful when the weather is bad. *If dog doesn't do anything, that's fine, if it does, give tons of praise and give a "quality" treat, preferably one used just for training purposes. Consistency is the key. Dogs are creatures of habit and depend on a repetitive schedule. This is no time to skimp on excessive praise and treats when you are house training. Pup needs to associate being let out of the crate with yummy treats doing itÂs thing and huge amounts of praise. Boiled or baked chicken liver is a great training tool, dogs crave it and you really have their attention when you use it. *Daily walks at least twice a day (about 20-30 minutes each in the same area) are essential for dogs and getting them house trained. Walking gets things moving, dogs love it and it gives them something to look forward to. Try and feed a pup prior to the walks. Never free feed unless your vet says to. Pups have a high metabolism. Soon after it eats or drinks, it will need to go out. *Pups drink huge amounts of water. In theory yours should be able to hold it for (one hour for each month) up to about 9 months. In reality, if a young pup has been playing, it will gulp down lots of water, and just won't be able to hold it for that long. After pup drinks, keep an eye on it. Take it out in about 5-10 minutes and offer it relief. *You are making a very bad mistake being mad at your pup. When dogs do something wrong, itÂs the fault of the human in charge, not the dogÂs. You are going to traumatize her, make things worse and never get this under control. She simply does not know why you are mad. If you cannot catch her in the act, scold her and take her out, you might as well clean it up. Just a few seconds after the deed, she will not retain why you are scolding her. Using the crate for punishment is another mistake, it will confuse pup because this is supposed to be her safe sanctuary. You need to dig in and decide that you are going to get this under control, and do what ever it takes. Lest, your life will become very difficult. *Your pup won't be considered house trained unless it has no accidents for at least 9months! Also, there is a HUGE difference in a dog that is 4-6 months old and one that is 9-10 months old. They grow inside and out. Once they reach 9-10 months, their bladders are larger and able to hold it longer. Good luck! SG

Things have gotten crazy and out of control at the moment. A week ago Friday I agreed to meet with SM to go for a walk and talk about what is going on with kids and ex. SM is insisting that none of this is her fault and it is all the craziness of ex. Ex was taking meds for anger management issues and after feeling very depressed while on them, he suddenly quit taking them after moments of severe depression that included threatening suicide. The rest of the story of how things have happened have reminded me of how things were eleven years ago between ex and I. Things were not great but did I think they were bad enough that he would go home for a visit and come back telling me that he wanted a divorce?? No. Anyway, to make a long story short, I told her that as much as I feel her pain that I cannot be involved with this and that I never should have let her convince me to meet with her the first time. I thought that by understanding what was going on that I could be more supportive to DS. But in the end, it has made a lot of pain and bitterness that I never want to feel again resurface. I will admit, in many ways, I truly want her to feel the pain that she caused me but I do not want to be that bitter person anymore because I know that I am better than that and I deserve more than that in life. I was so bitter and hurt and angry for so long and now I feel free but bringing it all back has not been easy for me. I know that it is wrong to wish them the worst and I should forgive and forget and I have managed to do that for so long. I am trying to do that but I cannot as long as she is pretending to confide in me about what is going on. I do not think that she is being totally truthful about the whole thing anyway but passing the blame onto ex completely when I know from DS how often they fight and how SM hired a private investigator that caught ex with another woman. And I know that this woman was not the first nor probably the last. Anyway, now the SM is taking this that I have been nice to her for all these years only to find out that I have wanted ex back the entire time. For many years I was not nice but realized that I was only feeding the anger inside of me and making things worse on DS. So I learned to let it go and that the problem was not with me but ultimately the lying, cheating @$$ that I was married to. I have tried repeatedly to tell SM that I know exactly what ex is and I would never live through that again but SM still insists that if I did not want ex back that I would not be feeling all of these emotions. I told her that in ten years after ex broke her heart to try to listen to the new soon to be ex SM telling her about how the ex is doing the same thing again and try not to relive all of the pain that she experienced the first time (this was just the first time that I let my anger get a little out of control). Then she had the nerve to tell me that she thought that so many years ago that ex and I were separated when they got together. I had to call BS on that one because 1) she was calling my house until I had the phone disconnected because I was tired of getting hang ups when I was home and she thought that I was supposed to be at work and 2) my ex SIL covered for them and she knew we were not separated. After I found out for sure that she was TOW, I confronted SIL who told me everything. SIL felt bad for me and was truly beginning to realize the situation for what it was and SM for what she was. So after SM has continued to deny this, I hit the roof and told her more or less that she was getting exactly what she deserved finally after all of these years and that she was realizing that there was finally another SM in the works just like she was at one time. Not pretty!!! I am not sure that I truly want anyone to have to experience what I went through but I spoke before I thought about what I was saying out of anger. But it truly felt good to vent to one who caused so much pain in my life after all of these years. SM told me that she did not understand why after all of this time that I was finally telling her about this. But then I asked her when as she was sleeping with my husband did the three of us ever sit and include me in any conversations to figure out both sides of the story. So this all happened yesterday at the end of the day and I have heard nothing from SM or ex today but DS is supposed to go to ex's house for the night this afternoon. I would never repeat what happened or was said to DS but ex thinks (or so SM told me) that I will turn DS against him through all of this. I have told ex that ultimately I can think whatever I want about ex but I will not push my feelings onto DS. And I will not. DS knows the truth about what happened but I also told DS that I do not think that even if SM had not been in picture that eventually we would have split because we were young and dumb and were not ready to fight for our relationship. Time changes a person and I believe that I am a better person now but I feel that young, immature, scared, insecure woman resurfacing through all of this and I do not want to go there again. And I am not going to let ex and SM take me back there.

You all are so kind! Thank you so much! Your words mean more to me than you can ever, ever, know. I do feel better now that the decision has been made. However, today we went tile shopping and now we are both completely gun shy of color. If it has the slightest hint of yellow in it... it is out! We are also second guessing the use of Spanish tiles now. Although I only showed you the field tiles, there was also a behind-the-range and an around-the-hood deco tile arrangement. We are now thinking that no colorful tiles at all are on the order for the day. Now, this is day one mind you, of the new tile search. We spent half of today at it, and haven't seen the answer yet. But I will keep you informed of our progress. We have a few samples on order and we will see what comes of it. I really can't thank you enough!