I just got this email from the Washington Gardener yahoo list: This is a first "heads up" to keep this collection in mind as you starting winding down your summer harvest -- we will send out another reminder just before the event. If you are in Virginia, you may find it more convenient to drop off your harvest donations at AHS River Farm. The contact there to arrange a drop off time is Jessica Rozmus at jrozmus@ahs.org. Feel free to pass this note along to any area gardeners. Washington Gardener Hosts Fall Harvest Collection for the Hungry Washington Gardener Magazine is again hosting a fall harvest collection for Plant A Row for the Hungry. Clean out your summer garden and bring your excess edibles to Washington Gardener MagazineÂs headquarters at 826 Philadelphia Ave. Silver Spring, MD on Sunday, September 28 between 3-6pm. Your donations will be sorted, weighed, and delivered to local area food banks for the needy. Every donor who drops off excess harvest at the event will receive a special Plant A Row marker for placement in their garden next year so they can proudly mark and set aside a row for the hungry in our local community. Plant A Row for the Hungry is a project run by the Garden Writers Association, which Washington Gardener Magazine supports as an Allied member. The concept is simple. There are over 70 million gardeners in the U.S. alone, many of whom plant vegetables and harvest more than they can consume. If every gardener plants one extra row of vegetables and donates their surplus to local food banks and soup kitchens, a significant impact can be made on reducing hunger. Food agencies will have access to fresh produce, funds earmarked for produce can be redirected to other needed items, and the hungry of America will have more and better food than is presently available. Washington Gardener magazine (www.WashingtonGardener.com) is the gardening publication specifically for the local metro area  zones 6-7  Washington DC and its suburbs. Washington Gardener magazineÂs basic mission is to help DC area gardens grow better. The magazine is written entirely by local area gardeners. The content of the magazine gives real examples that residents of the greater DC region can use immediately in your own garden. Washington Gardener is a local, independent, and woman-owned business based in Silver Spring, MD. The publication is dedicated to promoting the best practices for area gardening. To subscribe to our magazine: Send a check for $20.00 payable to Washington Gardener magazine to: Washington Gardener, 826 Philadelphia Ave., Silver Spring, MD 20910 OR click on the "subscription" link at http://www.WashingtonGardener.com to subscribe online using a secure credit card transaction. # # #

I think there's a lot of over generalization and gender stereo-typing going on here. I find usually both sexes are at least partially at fault when their relationship isn't great. Women can and are often just as harsh as men, can scream just as loud, throw just as many plates (or punches) and be just as controlling. This labeling is hogwash IMHO. My husband has asked me to ask him stuff nicely too? What does that mean? Last time I checked, he was still male. And, I'm confused...if you're male and you yell, it's because that's how guys are are, but if you're female and you yell, it's because that's the only way men will listen to you. So, men get the blame for both men and woman yelling or acting aggressive? That just doesn't seem fair. I don't agree with the stereo-typical "He's a guy", "He must...", "Guys think", "Guys do...", ... comments. It's not that gender info can never be useful, but it seems like it's often just getting to the point of negative stereo-typing and male bashing. I understand that some people have had very bad experiences with their male relationships, but that doesn't make all men dogs. I have a feeing there's a lot more going on with this poster and her relationship(s?) than she has admitted. There's always two sides, and the one thing I've really noticed learning and have found very important about relationships is that there's "always more", a lot more, to the story.

An excellent post Silversword -- And very true. How about a few word pictures from the other side: Mr. Cheerleader He applauds your successes with genuine happiness, and knows that a win for you is a win for the two of you. You're on the same team, so your victories are his victories as well (though he'd never claim the credit - you did it), and cause for genuine celebration. He's proud of what you accomplish, and has faith in your abilities, and has no illusions that your strength is his weakness. You find yourself doing more, taking more risks, and feeling more confident because you know he supports you. The Accepter He knows you're not perfect, but loves you the way you are, quirks and all. When confronted with one of your mistakes, he forgives you easily because he recognizes he's not perfect either (and he can tell you where). So you can actually feel safe and comfortable admitting your imperfections and confessing your mistakes because you know his love for you is not conditional. If for once in your life, you spent $300 on a pair of red shoes (and that $300 won't mean the mortgage is late), he'll smile and say "Those must be some shoes! Let's see them." And you'll love him all the more for his acceptance and vow to only buy $300 shoes when they're that special. Mr. Curious He wants to know about your day, your friends, your job, your past -- not because he doesn't trust you, but because he wants to really know you. He wants to know what events shaped you into the wonderful person you are, to understand your perspectives, your values, your world view. He understands that what happened before you met is no threat to your relationship and what you do on your time away from him is rightfully your own choice. He wants you to have fun when you're not together, and wants to hear all about it when you get home. Mr. Other Side He doesn't always agree with you, but he does always agree that you have a right to your own viewpoint, and he'll take the time and make the effort to find out what it is. When you disagree, he won't immediately stomp off or resort to name-calling or other insults. He'll try to find out why you feel the way you do. If you feel strongly about something and he doesn't, that in itself is sometimes enough to decide the issue, assuming you afford him the same courtesy sometimes. He may end up thinking you're crazy on a certain point, but he'll never start there! ;-) Mr. Math Not. He does not keep score. If it's 'your turn' to cook dinner and you've had really a hard day, he'll either jump in and do it or suggest eating out. When the baby cries in the middle of the night or the toddler gets out of bed for the umpteenth time, he'll take a turn. When you jump in and do something for him, he'll see it and thank you for your thoughtfulness. He doesn't waste his mental or emotional energies keeping track of who does more for the relationship. He genuinely wants to do his fair share, and perhaps a bit more, just to make you happy. Mr. Charming OK, maybe not in an obvious way. There may be a spare tire or a shiny spot on top, or he may stumble for words -- but you can learn to spot him by the way he treats others. He genuinely likes his mother and sisters and says so. With very few exceptions, he speaks well of his co-workers and former girlfriends, and his friends speak well of him. He's kind and polite to store clerks, waiters, other drivers and subway passengers. These guys exist too, and it's worth our time to find them!

Leslie, it's definitely MORE than the age thing. And I'm totally sure part of it is because she is my SD. Why? If she were MY child, she would *not* be so helpless. It's not the spills or simple things like that, it's much more than that. For instance, last night SD spoke with BM on the phone. SD immediately launches into baby talk with her BM. Sorry, but baby talk is not spoken here. Never. Ever. There is no reason for it and it's not cute. If that makes me a wicked stepmother, oh well. But this is how SD's mother speaks to her. SD can talk to her mother like that, but save it for her mother's house. Not here. Please! And no, I'm not blasting BM's. This is her child and she can handle things in her household however she sees fit. Only, I don't have to agree with her and do what she does. And I don't have to allow her techniques and philosophy to spill over into our home. Mikkella, it seems that my SD and yours were cut from the same mold! My SD also constantly tries to correct our 3 yr old, even when the little one is doing nothing wrong. Worse yet, if I am correcting the baby, SD will chime in. Again, I think she's looking for some sort of power in her life that she knows she can't get at BM's. Her mother gives her no freedom, no choice. If kids aren't allowed to begin making small decisions in their life (clothes, what to order for dinner, what sport to play, etc.) how can they progress to the big important ones? I guess I sound upset and bitter right now. I'm not, really. I'm just tired. She wears me out with her neediness, and when she's here it's difficult for me to work. And no, I don't let SD see my frustration. That's where you guys come in! Hmmmm ... I guess I better pay the fees to stay here, huh? :-)