Oh and I used to look really great for my age...this time two years ago...and then I went through a messy divorce. My skin looks clammy, I've aged and I even put on some weight but it's all to do with the circumstances I found myself in! Someone recently asked me if I was perhaps menopausal and I mentioned to them if they'd been through all of the stresses I'd had to go through recently, they'd look the same way too! It had absolutely nothing to do with any health problems apart from stress through the circumstances I found myself in. Why is it when men in particular see a woman who is looking in bad shape, why does he have to naturally presume she's going through the menopause, just because she happens to be over 35!

Uh, it sounds like you've had a bad time of it.... if you aren't hot flashing or night sweating, I'd doubt that you are menopausing. Around 40 is the time when it gets really difficult to manage weight, stress or no stress.
Sounds to me that it is now a time for you to take care of yourself... spoil yourself.... you know, looking good is the best revenge. :o)
Personally, I wouldn't want to have a baby late in life... I have a 2 year old nephew and I realize that being in my 60's at his most active time would just be too much for me. It would be selfish to want a child that late that I couldn't keep up with. So I gave up on it.