wow! Thermometer... I think that really hit me...seriously..I don't want to lose my family... guys are guys...and they'll come and go right? But your family is yours forever and you'll only have one. ehart1218, I can only guess that you are a very young woman. People naturally become offended when their age comes into question, but I don't say it to offend or belittle you at all. I say it because it is apparent you do not yet possess the wisdom that the benefit of time and experience begets. Like your parents, I am trying very hard to get you to open your eyes but fear I am failing miserably. Your situation is not a battle between your family and your man. You keep turning it into that, but this is not about choosing one over the other. It's not about the importance of family or anything of the sort. It's about what your parents are saying that you have to open your eyes to see and analyze. Talk to your parents calmly and with an open mind. Ask them what it is they object to about your fiance. Examine each individual complaint. Ask them why they make the complaints. As they enumerate their grievances, ask them "What's wrong with that?" with each one. You will be giving your parents the opportunity to school you. Please don't be so grown to think you know everything or that your parents have nothing left to teach you. Analyze and work through everything they say without becoming angry. They can show how a woman should be treated by her boyfriend/husband, or at least how she should not be treated and what she should not tolerate. You will be giving them the chance to explain, incident by incident, what he did/said that was embarrassing and disrespectul to you, or when they were embarrassed on your behalf because you didn't know to be offended at the time. Most parents don't think to school their daughters in this manner while they are teenagers. Don't fault your parents because no one ever thinks to do it. If more parents did, then there'd be far fewer women in abusive relationships and putting up with their husband's disrespect. Your parents are not trying to make things bad for you. They understand the natural course of life, and that you will one day marry and have children. They are very much looking forward to it. They just don't want you to make bad choices in life and can see this will be a very bad one. That is what I meant when I said they can see your future. You met this guy and fell in love with him. Perhaps he is very good looking. Perhaps he has a good education and a good job. I'm sure he has many good attributes in his favor. Your parents fell in love with all those qualities too.....at first. But then, as I said, the benefit of time - as all things are revealed in due time - and the benefit of acquaintance - as you spend time with a person, you get to see them for what they really are - brought them back down to reality. In the beginning, they thought their daughter had quite a catch of a guy, but he has shown them a very different side of himself. Trust your parent's wisdom, and trust they only want the best for you. Also, go through the pages on this forum and read a bunch of the posts. You will find on these pages the exact same complaints your parents have....the exact same mistakes most of these women have made....the exact same mistakes your parents are trying to prevent you from making. Mom and dad are trying to fortify you. They're trying to make sure you have the self-estemm and self-worth that a woman should hold for herself. The kind of worth a woman possesses that helps her recognize when she is being treated badly. Understand something else, please. You met this guy, and he did and said all the things you liked hearing. He gave you some attention. He brought you into his world and made you like it. It could have been someone else and can still be someone else. Someone who loves and cares for you in the way that you deserve.

bnicebkind Please read my posting carefully and dont misunderstand or assume things. I did write that it is the husband that should tell her. Her 'business' is limited as well. What she does in her house is her business and what i do in mine is mine. In most situations, the biomom is jealous of the relationship adn has left over emotional baggage that has not been dealt with. I'm a very understanding person and please dont tell me to take the high road. I've given millions of chances to my husbands exwife and all i've become is an escape goat to everythign when seh doesn't get her way. And no she doesn't think of her kids. She doesn't even appreciate on how well i treat them help them in homework and i'm always considerate of her and never talk bad. But all i get to hear is how the kids love me and how she hates me for that. I understand but i am the one being the big person here. Not the biomom. Considering she is also a druggie i dont think highly of her either but i never say anything bad of her in front of the kids. She is the one who is controlling and to the point where she will damage her kids in the process without a second thought. You do not know my situation and Like i wrote before. Please read carefully. If you did , you would know i am married already. and havea child of my own. My eyes are very wide open and have been since young. I've lost my mom to cancer at the age of 11 years old. Have had two stepmoms. So i have much experience and knowledge. Plus not everyoen is understanding or kind. Take that into consideration for your thoughts. People who are jealous dont give a hoot about anything but themselves and this is waht this biomom is. If cookie is worried that the ex is going to snap then there is obvious reason to worry. Its biomoms business to know who will be involved with her kids. But beyond that, especially if she is purposely sabotaging relationships, it is NONE of her business. If she wants to know something she may ask her husband but chances are when the tables are reversed and her exhusband asks her, she will tell him its none of her businesses. You see, people like this, are not understanding. Therefore there is not much you can do. It would be great to all get along in this world. But its reality here. Not a dream.

I just want to make the point that any trees need to be a good distance away from the front of the house. As I looked at the pictures of the house, I realize that there is a similarity in the angle of the roof (of your neighbor's house) to our house. The angle of the roof, along with the limited amount of eavestrough (for the front of that house) means that when you have a downpour, the eavestrough is going to have to be free of any tree debris in order to have the water go down the drainpipe freely. Also when you have such a steep roof angle, when you have a heavy rain storm, all roof debris washes into the eavestrough making it potentially get plugged! Then you have the eavestrough pouring over with rain water drowning and ripping your plants below. The eavestrough then begins to loosen and angle away from the house making the problem worse and worse. This I have learned from experience.

You could put the TV by the French doors between the window and the French door there if it fits leave the couch where it is and you could put two chairs with the TV is at currently