The gagging could be from what is called "silent reflux"... I didn't even know i had it until i went to the doctor with an ear ache which was also contributed to the reflux. When you are laying down the acid can creep up and then in turn make you cough and gag. I had nausea as well for many years from this and did not even know it. It is quite common in perimenopause as it relates to hormone fluctuations. I take an OTC Zegerid at night for the reflux and it has helped a lot. Also, not eating a few hours before going to bed may help as well. Not sure if this is what you have but it sounds like it to me. As for night sweats i found that at least 30 minutes of exercise a day, walking or running helped tremendously. It also helps with my anxiety and nervousness that also comes up out of nowhere at times. The only thing getting me through is the thought of making it to the finish line and this being over fairly soon... i hope! Good luck

If I remember correctly (that's a problem in itself!), the test for estrogen level was pretty definitive - I was below the level that I was supposed to be, and I think the doc tested me again in about 6 months without an improvement. By then, I knew without them telling me that the remaining ovary wasn't working and that I was going in to menopause. My mother also did not provide any info. She, in fact, said it wasn't that bad. For me, it's been 10 years of hell. I started with hot flashes about every 1/2 hour, and now I'm about every 1.5-2 hours. That's a lot (or not much) of disturbed sleep. I do remember something that my doc told me, but I haven't really researched it - women who have less body fat have more severe menopausal symptoms because they don't have any or have less stored estrogen. Not that that will make you feel any better! Still, my exercise kind of keeps me sane and out of the "poor me" mindframe. Hopefully, this isn't really menopause for you. I have seen some comments about hot flashes from women going off the pill - maybe doc can answer whether that's common.

GM, a couple of years ago I was put on Effexor to try to wean off of HRT. I'm sorry I cannot remember the specific side effects, but I ended up back on HRT. I happen to be extremely sensitive to most medications and I've tried a lot of AD's because of chronic depression(in addition to menopause). I've never been able to take any of the SSRI/SNRI's(Effexor is one). These meds in general kept me up at night, made me jittery, and some made me itch intensely. That being said, Effexor did help with my hotflashes. You might ask your doctor if you can start with the very lowest dose you can, and work up from there. Maybe start with a regular release instead of the timed release you've been given so you can split pills and start with a very low dose. And, if it doesn't eventually help with your symptoms, it's very important to wean off of these drugs gradually, not by stopping cold turkey. Another drug that has been used for hotflashes is Neurontin(Gabapentin). It is I believe an anti-seizure drug that is also used 'off label' for neuropathic pain, hotflashes, and more. I tried this one too(I have FMS along with everything else), and I couldn't even get up to a therapeutic dose(typical in my case)before I had bad side effects, although it did help with hotflashes. And, it has helped others...I'm just very sensitive. So if you are against, or are not a candidate for HRT, I would give these meds a go, being careful to start at the lowest dose. Good luck to you, and keep trying! You deserve some relief!

This is an excerpt from something I received in today's mail: It's Thanksgiving afternoon. You've had turkey, stuffing potatoes, cranberries - all the fixings. You've had pie (both apple and pumpkin). And right about now you're thankful you're wearing pants with an elastic waist. It's time to watch another game or perhaps figure out which sales to hit with the start of the holiday shopping tomorrow. But isn't there something more to this holiday? Thanksgiving is the perfect opportunity to slow down and take stock of what's really important in your life. So before the meal, or right after, while everyone is still seated at the table, invite each family member to state something they're thankful for....Here are a copy of suggestions to keep the good thoughts flowing throughout all the holidays and into the upcoming year. 1. Accept, Acknowledge and Appreciate - Let these replace the Three C's - Complaining, Condemning and Criticizing. 2. Do something for someone else - those less fortunate than you. 3. Put it all in perspective - It's often easy to lose perspective on exactly how much we do have. It's easy to feel less than satisfied with your lot in life...Remember, what you have is always greater than what you need. 4. Focus on the positive - Keeping a positive outlook will change your entire perspective, as people have a tendency to remember the bad things as vividly as the good. Keep a gratitude journal containing only positive entries. Look for positive outcomes from tough events. This goes on but I think the bottom line is to keep things in perspective. I'm a perfectionist, too, and we completed our kitchen remodel about 18 months ago. I know where you are coming from, but if you focus on the fact that you have a new kitchen and it's a great improvement from what you had before, your perspective will probably change. Get that positive journal going with daily entries - you'll most likely find you ease up. As a last resort, ask yourself 2 questions that were regularly asked of me during our remodel - 1. Will this kitchen bring us world peace? and 2. Will this kitchen solve world hunger? Bottom line, it's only a kitchen. Happy Thanksgiving.