A jug of Febreeze. I'm quite sure the guys in my son's dorm never did laundry the way you and I think of laundry...they Febreezed--EVERYTHING--shirts, jeans, sheets, towels, probably their armpits...lol I second the OTC med/first aid kit. Send the minimum until you know the kiddoes your son will be rooming with. Things like Sudafed can be abused. Still...I wish we'd done this. There was one very miserable night when my son (no longer in the dorm) called to tell me he was sick. Based on past experience, I knew immediately he had strep...probably 103 fever, raging sore throat, chills, in short he was alone, several miles from a store and miserable. I can guarantee you I spent a miserable night as well. While he was at the pharmacy the next day, I made him stock up on Tylenol and such. Extention cords and power strips. My son's dorm room had two outlets. Boys seem to need their electronics...Xbox, DVD players, Speakers system. Hopefully you can coordinate with the roomie so they don't overlap too much. Personally, I'd love to see game systems banned for dorms, but I'm sure schools fear no young men would come to school. lol Remember, you can't prepare for every instance. What you hope to see when your son or daughter goes away to school is some of the resourcefulness you've taught over the years. Do they know how to find information? Do they seek out the best way to do things? Can they face a challenge and deal with it? (Like getting a ride to the store when they don't drive. It's perfectly do-able.) Have fun and remember to enjoy these next few months.

Having been a personal financial advisor for over 20 years, I've called a number of tax preparers to ask whether, when they've finished doing a client's return, whether there are many who ask how they may rearrange their affairs slightly next year in order to reduce their tax load. Almost all have said that very few ever ask such a question. I say that they've got to be kidding - that when I have someone prepare my tax return, when they've finished they know quite a bit about my financial affairs. Seems to me that if I don't ask for some suggestions as to how to reduce, defer, etc. my tax load, I'm being *very* *stupid*. At very least - letting a golden opportunity go by unused. I hope that those of you who read this and have professional tax preparers do your tax return will take advantage of that opportunity. I can't believe how many Canadians - even some bank employees - don't know that when a Canadian taxpayer who owns stocks in a Canadian corporation that pays dividends prepares his/her tax return, they pay a much lower rate of tax on those dividends than on employment income, the resulting pension (apart from a small deductible) or interest income. All of the latter (the kind of income that most people earn, by the way) are taxed at (guess what?) top rate! So much for our Federal would-be Prime Ministers in their debate last night vying with one another as to who wants to make the most tax cuts. Our neighbours to the south have been making large tax cuts - while running huge annual deficits. What kind of sense that makes I have yet to understand. Good wishes for a wonderful New Year. ole joyful

Well stated CelticMoon. I am glad to hear you can help. Your nephews illustrate the point about why evaluating parent participation is important. I cannot understand why some investment bankers kid would be entitled to the same level of aid which is what would happen if parents were not required to disclose their finances. So there is less money available for those who cannot afford it. Do you honestly think the average millionaire would say, oh my kid who got into Harvard will not go since he did not get enough aid and I want him to go to Z College instead so he can work his way through? While there are always the exceptions, the average wealthy person is thrilled his kid is at a good school and is more than willing to write the check. The truth is that a gifted student or athlete in that of Celtics nephews situation has an excellent chance at a good education and a combination of scholarships (usually from the school), grants (school or businesses or government) and low interest loans (not all college loans are). Scholarships and grants do not have to be repaid. Often they are not even based on academics or sports, there are small ones out there for kids from a particular area, interested in a specific hobby, that type of thing. Apparently there are now web sites that identify them. So really poor kids who are gifted still have a shot. Its the ones who are average or are mildly gifted but whose parents are neither poor nor wealthy enough to comfortably afford college that need to worry the most. Even if you make 150k a year, putting 3 kids through college at 40k each, good luck. Also, says this Mother of Five (all 10 and under), schools look at how many kids you are sending to school at one time. I changed my planning after the 4th and 5th were born because now our situation was different! Either he is a child and I am resposible for him or he's an adult and I'm not There is no reason for my child to suffer for a principle. The reality is without filling out an aid application, my child will not be eligible. Bottom line this is the way the system works, accept it or write to your congressman to have universal college education paid for by the government. Some states had almost that when I was in college. Schools ranger from 7k -10k a year while UT at Austin was about 500 (no idea what it costs now). You can argue that he should work his way through and leave the aid money for Celtic's nephews, fine. You can also argue that since it is unlikely he will qualify for aid you do not want to hurt his chances of admission (yes this does happen when a kid is on the fence, they will take the one who does not ask for money) or reveal your finances to strangers. Ok I can accept that. Or that giving him more than X will severly endanger your own retirement, I can also accept that. Unless your child plans a future in the military (which is possible given your background and West Point is free but is not possible or desireable for everyone(no offense different strokes) or has an entrepenuarial bent or a talent in sports or sales or a vocation, the best way I can see to give my children their best shot at money and position and job satisfaction is to encourage them to go to the best college and graduate school they can get into. Sure if there is an equally good cheaper state school, by all means PLEASE attend. To arbitraily say, ok the government says I am no longer responsible for him even though I was responsible for him yesterday and was even willing to pay yesterday but I am not paying today, please. It is arbitrary. I agree with you that it does seem odd that you could no longer access his medical records or school records after that day. But this was not a rule he invented. I believe I have the responsibilty to raise a child until he is a functioning adult in a career that his intellect and education suite him for. If I worked so hard for 18 years to raise him, why would I dump him just as he was nearing the finish line? Why does my child have to reinvent the wheel? Just because my DH worked his way through school and took out loans, why does my child? My parents paid my way and if possible I would like to pay my childs. Frankly my parents taught me a lot more about money management than did DHs. I had a lot of educating to do when we got married. He rarely discussed money with them except to hear what they could not afford. Now that he makes his own he feels a certain entitlement and is sometimes a little overly generous with himself. I keep meaning to read Rich Dad Poor Dad. He had no idea how to use credit or invest. I cannot believe the crap he invested in when he made his first money. As for carrying a balance on credit cards at 15% while paying off his 5% student loans, do not get me started (ancient history now). If anything I would teach children how to manage money, how to invest it and use credit wisely. As for working why would I have them waste hours they could be studying working at some menial after school job making minimum wage. Sure a work ethic is important, summer jobs are a good thing. However as far as I can tell until they graduate from college or start working, they have one job and that is to work on their academics to achieve as much as possible. This is the ideal version. The reality is my kids may have to work to help pay for college but it will not be because of some arbitrary principle but rather because of genuine need Claiming them or not on their taxes has nothing to do with anything

Yes, Mom lied....she told the school that she had to relocate for a job. She was unemployed (fired from her last job) and didn't begin work until December -- so clearly, the move had zero to do with a job. The boyfriend didn't help at all, in fact, she was paying his rent, so she just figured it would be cheaper to have him live with her. He leached off her for a long time -- even after she bought a new house and told him he had to move out. He threatened suicide so she paid 2 mortgages for another 8 months or so until she could get him to leave the house (I couldn't make this stuff up!). For all I know, she offered to pay him rent to get out -- I know she supported him the entire time he lived with her. Perhaps that money is her retirement money, but her kids knew that she paid a lot for her BF (even lent him $10,000 to start his own company....didn't work out so much, duh!). You have to realize, this is not just about the money. We can pay towards her college, but we believe that she must also pay -- take a financial stake in her own education. And, make up for the scholarship that she let go. This isn't punitive, as her mother likes to spin it. It is about trying to get this child to understand that money does not grow on trees, and that college is not to show off that you can hang with the "pretty rich kids" (her words), or about drinking whenever and wherever you want (again, she gained a ton of weight last year -- no doubt from drinking so much) but it is about making a future for yourself. It is also about teaching her that you can't give a parent "the finger" with one hand, while holding out the other for tens of thousands of dollars. It is simply not right.....and not the message that we want her younger brother to get!