Your woodstove is much newer than 1977, probably at least 7-12 years newer. (I'm irresistably tempted to gently tease you about your sense of "stepping back into a time warp" - you're here on the Old House Forum so a house built in 1977 is barely out of warranty by our standards. My own house was built many years before 1877.) I think we bought our stove in the first year the model was available and I suspect that was 1983 or possibly as late as 1985. We have another similar, but slightly newer, model with putty-colored enamel (which hasn't stood the test of hard use nearly as well as the black, unenameled orginal one). We burned the putty coloreed one for a few years but went back to the black one. It has been completely rebuilt a few times in the last 30 years! The catalytic converter ought to be replaced very few years (ours are done after about 2.5 burning seasons, but we put a lot of wood through it.) If you believe it has never been done, then I would plan on buying a new one, though keeping the old one on hand in case you have a problem with the new one sometime and want to stick something in to tide you over. Store the old very carefully as they extremely delicate. Don't do as I did once, vacuum the fly ash off, and sucked the whole thing into the vac: a $250 oops! Nowadays the cats are made in China with very mixed quality control. The cat part itself will cost $250-$350, exclusive of labor to install. We replace ours by ourselves. Does your stove have a heat shield on the back - a metal panel that stands off the main body of the stove about 1.5"? Since it's backed by a masonry wall, it may not be necessary. At any rate if had one, you'd have to take it off, and then remove the panel in the upper back to expose the cat chamber if your stove is an older model; slightly newer ones are accessed in a different way. You can find your model number on a plate on the back of the stove near the bottom (on right, I think). It's important info to know because there were slight changes to the model over time. The operating instructions are still online, I believe.(VermontCastings.com) The company has had a somewhat checkered ownership history with some periods producing less desirable work. Your stove definitely is a catalytic model because I can see the handle on the left of the stove which is what you use to change the exhaust pathway from a direct exhaust to going through the catalytic pathway after the stove has come to proper temp for lighting-off the secondary fire in the cat. If you haven't used it yet I would suggest a thorough looking-over by a competent sweep, preferably one used to or selling Vermont Castings stoves. Replace cat as recommended. Also have him look at all the weatherstripping around the doors (front, ash pan access and top load). These parts get worn out over time, and are easily replaceable. Also, be sure to double-check before burning that there is an ashpan under the stove(not just an empty slot where it lives). Open the ash door at the bottom right (having slid sheets of newsprint under the stove and floor in front of the hearth in case it is over-filled and will dump ashes around). There should be a shallow trapezoidal pan riding in the framework attached to the back of the ash door that can be lifted out and dumped when full. There is a removeable (perhaps lost) black metal cover that slides on the pan to contain the ashes and hot coals for transport to the dumping site; it's not strictly necessary, but nice. (Again a set of high-temp fire fighters' gloves - blue Fire-Dex - will help you here.) Now, just in case you are not experienced wood burners, I need to emphasize this CRITICAL point. Do not dump the ashes in anything except a metal, closeable trash can that is set outside, away from the house, preferably on a stone slab, but at least never within any structure nor on a wooden-floored porch. The reason is that even seemingly cold ashes can re-ignite and start a house fire. (Though if you've never burned the stove and the house has been empty for years the first dump is probably cold, but never assume that again unless it's been all summer without a fire.) This is a very important thing that people are occasionally careless about, with tragic consequences. I don't know if you recall the awful news reports a couple of years ago of a whole family, with many children, in an newly reno'd old house in CT that lost their lives because of a fire started by improperly disposed-of ashes and coals. Even though we dump our ashes and coals in a closed can, outside, I have more than once gone back a few days later to dump the next batch and found glowing embers still in the coals after days of being shut up. So, first make sure you have that ash pan installed and cleaned out before burning. And try to find the black cover that slides over it for carrying out to disposal area. The air that feeds the fire flows up through the ash bed, so if the under-stove pan is stuffed and there are too many ashes in the firebox, you will have a dickens of a time getting things going properly. You can find a good magnetic w/s thermometer at any store that sells w/s accessories. Expect to pay $10-15. If you can find one with a little half-round wire handle, buy it. I think they are better as they can be more easily moved. But if you can't, buy another kind since you can't operate the stove without one. The reason for that is that after you light the stove, let the fire build and settle down, and then based on temps measured at the center of the griddle on top, turn the left hand lever completely backwards (it will go past a slight resistance with a firm "snap" when it is properly positioned) to close the internal smoke door and force the exhaust pathway through the cat. You will hear a change in the sound of the stove, and you should see a fairly prompt rise (over minutes, not seconds) of temps on the top surface of the stove. This is the heat created by burning off the gases and particulates in the smoke, which is what the cat is doing - wringing the most amount of heat out of the fuel and at the same time cleaning up more of the residual particulates that are generated in a wood fire. This explanation is sort of coming in at the middle of an intial firing sequence, as a I don't know how experienced you are. I could start at the very beginning and go through it step by step, if that would help you. One other thing to verify (either by you or your sweep): is your stove connected to a dedicated outside combustion air feed? This will be a visible pipe (though it can be suqare or rectangular) that comes up and attaches to the lower back of the stove. It will the only thing back there, if it's there. It provides a closed delivery of air to the fire, essentially isolating it from the air in the room. This has important implications if you are installing the stove in house with a range or cooktop ventilation equipment in the smae space. A w/S without an outside air connection will complicate the make-air calculations for the vent hood, creating a code issue (possibly expensive to address) and more importantly a potential safety issue (carbon monoxide). So, all in all I'm hoping you tell me the original installers set it up with an outside air connection. You can retrofit it, but with a masonry hearth it will more complex. Do you have a cellar under that part of the house? Oh, one other thing, while you are at the w/s store pick up a spray bottle of whatever they recommend for cleaning the glass doors. This is usually a fiercely vile spray made from lye, but it does the job. Use lots of newspaper under the stove and in front, and heavy duty gloves and a roll of paper towels. Do not scrape, steel wool or use a scrubby on the glass. It is special borosilicate glass intended to withstand very high temps, but small scratches made during cleaning could compromise it causing it to fail catastrophically. But when the glass is clean, or at least clean-er, the flames are lovely to see. If you're feeling affection for the stove, you can buy a tin of stove blacking which will make it look like new (though the first few fires after blacking can be mildly stinky.) I can post pics of the ash-pan lid and the small snap-on firescreen so you can see what to keep an eye out for, if that will help. I don't know if you will be able to buy these parts new for older stoves as the shapes have changed, I think. And I realized after I had posted that I had misspoke in my first post: you have VC Defiant Encore stove. Do you plan to use the stove for significant heating or just from time to time? It is a workhorse, though you will need fuel for it, and that may be hard to come by the first year - and expensive. We burn ours 24/7 once we light it in late October until the end of April. Of course we do have to shut it down once a month or so for chimney cleaning/sweeping chores which can't be done if there's any lingering fire. You can empty the ashes when the stove is burning, though it's easier, and safer to choose a point when the fire is at an very low ebb to do that. We leave a fire in when we are away from home, and of course at night. We refuel around 11:30pm/midnight, and again in the morning (one of us is a night owl and the other an early bird, so it works out OK). In deep winter the house is quite cold by the morning, but the stove re-warms it fairly quickly. If you have subs working on the house I would advise you to refuse them permission to burn the stove, there's too much risk that they think they know what they are doing, when they really don't. That goes for teenagers, babysitters, house guests and etc. Running a stove safely is very serious business. Finally, do you have small (rug-rat age) kids or cats? Kids too young to appreciate the danger of a hot surface must be protected by a fire-guard screen around the hearth itself. The good news is that kids soon grow into an age when they won't accidentally get burned. Cats not so much. Not all cats, or even most, but some cats will jump on the stove while it's burning (500-650 degrees F on the top surface) and get terrible burns on their paws. I have one cat who has done it twice. Now we have a fence around the stove. I have had literally dozens of other cats (I do feral cat rescue) who have lived here with same stove and never jumped up. As I re-read what I wrote and remembered what you said about a break in, I thought I'd also mention that inside the stove there should be a pair of detachable 6" tall cast-iron andiron brackets in the front and a removable cast iron floor grate with diagonal oepnings set in the bottom of the stove. I mention this because these items would be easily detached by thieves and sold for scrap iron. (We had an old cast iron coal stove stolen from an outbuilding last spring.) If you stove has been stripped of these parts, you'll need to get them before any fire can be lit. Hope my long post is somewhat useful to you. Let me know if you want step by step lighting instructions. (For after the stove and chimney have been checked out and certified OK to go.) L.

Well, first of all, you sound like a nice, young lady - open to suggestions from others and willing to change, but never forgetting from where you came. My hat's off to you! With respect to your stepbrother, it sounds a little like he's jealous that you have somewhat of a new life. I think his running to a "friends" house was a bit of a tantrum. I would keep reaching out to him and assure him that we can all use more friends. Should stepsiblings and siblings be best friends? Well, why not? The one thing I've learned in life is that you can never have too much unconditional love in the world. I think it's great that you've blended so well thus far. He's going through some growing pains and probably doesn't know at the moment where he fits in - regarding life, the family, your life, etc. Give him time and he'll come around. Things do change and our former "best friends" can one day seem like strangers - conversations that once flowed freely are awkward and filled w/ gaps of silence. Try to keep the lines of communication open - seek his advice, vent about work-related problems, dating, etc. to him and he feel important. Good luck!

"What really helped with us was that I started doing things with SS, without DH." This is such a good and valid point, and something that helped me tremendously in my own relationship with my SS(9). He was not quite 2 when DH and I started dating---my DD is the same age. (They are six weeks apart!) The kids were not quite 5 when we moved in together, and then 6 when we got married. They are both now 9 yrs old. Anyway, I struggled in the earlier days, even right around the time we got married, with feeling close to and good about my relationship with SS. We did have a lot of externals, with his BM actively working to ensure he didn't like me. SS was very torn and that made it hard for him to warm up to me, and it made me feel very hesitant/hands off. But I wholeheartedly agree with Mattie---spending time alone with SS made a big difference in our bond. It was like he began to see me as a parent figure who cares about and for him; when DH was around, it was almost as though I didn't exist. I think the best turning point was 2 years ago when I took SS on vacation WITHOUT DH. I took both kids--DD and SS---on vacation with my extended family. Spending a week with SS where I was the ONLY parent really bonded us in a way I can't explain. It's still not perfect or ideal; we are not super close, and I think he still, at times, is hesitant about me just b/c of the animosity BM has directed at me. But it's better, soooo much better than ever before. And I have no reason to think that things will not continue to improve the older and more independent SS becomes. I understand your situation is a bit different in that you're not custodial, and you spend big chunks of time alone with your SD may not be an option. But Mattie makes a great point! And you have the "girl" factor on your side, too. You and SD could go shopping or go get mani/pedis. Go see a chick flick. Those kinds of things. Bond with her over being females, relate to her on that level. That gives you an "excuse" to do some things WITHOUT DH. Maybe make it a point to do sometihng just you and SD once a month---even if it's just a quick run to Target, or to the grocery store.

Another poster here who has painted paneling and never looked back. DH found our home on the first day it was listed. When I did a first walk through, the dark paneled wall in the LR was going to be a dealbreaker for me. DH assured me that once it was painted, it would look totally different. As soon as we made settlement, one of the first things we addressed was that one wall in our LR. DH was right. Also, I agree with painting your ceiling the same or one shade lighter of the wall color you choose, should you decide to paint your paneling. Having huge windows on our first & second floors, our views are similar to that you posted. Our home is situated on a 3 acre wooded property. With regard to the hardwood floor, I will tell you that I've had 100 lb labs since I've lived in this house (2 & 3 at a time, LOL), and hace never had a problem with their nails and the hardwood. We also have an inground pool and the dogs together with many different aged kids over the years who've spent plenty of time in, without making a pitstop to dry off before taking a run into the house. No damage whatsoever. I would live with the paneling for a bit. Then, if you both hate it, either give painting it a whirl, or totally remove it and hang drywall. I really don't see the benefit of removing the paneling to sell. Sadly, IMHO, installing drywall in those spaces will just serve to make them appear as those in many development homes, which isn't what I believe you're looking for either. Great points were made about the large windows and issues with lighting despite them. I've dealt with that in my own home. When you live in a wooded setting, you need to address avoiding a black hole look at night as well as any daylight issues with large expanses of glass. Please keep us posted (w/pics) on your progress. Congrats on the new home. I love the privacy that our property affords us, as well as the awesome views of the changing seasons and all sorts of wildlife. Enjoy!