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How long after...?

20 years ago

My husband and I are in the middle of a separation (although we both contributed to breakup, I was tired of being second to his work, so I instigated the breakup), and have met the most amazing man ever. I care more for him than I ever did for my DH; I know how some of you may react to this, but I can't help myself. I had been alone in my marriage for more than 10 years, so I feel like I have been living on my own. The question I want answers from is, what is the 'ideal' time after our separation can I start to date again?

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Comments (6)

airforceguy
20 years ago
I dont think there is a magic #. If the previous relationship has been dead for many yrs, some may move on sooner. Best of luck
asolo
20 years ago
You're all grown up, kelly 68. Do what you want. The courts don't care and your friends and family know the situation.

"Ideal" doesn't apply.

However, how is it you know this man is "amazing"? How did you come to "care for him" if you haven't been dating him already? Rebound dating can be troublesome. Give your intellect priority over your emotions as you move along.
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keli_or
20 years ago
After my first marriage fell apart I waited until I was legally separated before I began casually dating. I also spent a lot of time looking into how I contributed to the failure of my marriage.

A week before my divorce became final, I met the man who is now my husband. We dated for nearly a year before I introduced him to my son, and then another 3 years before we married.

I guess my advice is take things very slowly, don't give your heart away too soon and realize that you have the rest of your life to find the perfect partner.

Best Wishes,

Keli
Vickey__MN
20 years ago
Remember too Love is always AMAZING in the first, romance stages. Listen to keli, take things slowly. I'v seen people go from the frying pan to the fire, find they're dating people just like their ex, or as with Kelli their future mate.

Vickey-MN
caroline94535
20 years ago
This is just my opinion, and I don't want to sound odd, but I don't think anyone, man or woman, is sane for the first year after a divorce.

I wouldn't consider dating someone that hadn't been divorced for at least that long. However, in my single days (daze?) I had a rule that I couldn't date anyone that had ever been divorced. Luckily, my DH didn't have the same rule!
rosewood42
20 years ago
As soon as you feel that you are ready too. From what you have said i think you are ready, because you were emotionally, physically and mentally alone for 10 years so it was like you were single anyway. I say go for it. Good luck.

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