I don't think it's right to tell your child what to do at the other parent's place, if it's undermining the other parent - if it's really a concern (and one should choose one's battles) if you can civilly discuss it with the other parent, much the better. Kids are stuck in the middle. You also have to take what your kid says with a grain of salt sometimes ("what?? my child never lies..." hot flash- kids do lie.) - they will say what they think the parent wants to hear, especially if one parent is domineering or they are afraid of them. DD would go home to mum after having an enjoyable stay with me and tell her nothing but bad things, things that didn't even happen....like how dad gives her a hard time about this or that. Mum mentioned it to me, and I had to say, not how it happened. DD thought it was what angry mum wanted to hear. DD also mentioned to her sister (from whom I'm estranged) how she could get anything she wanted from me - not that I consider I was spoiling her by any stretch of the imagination, but....whatever. Mum, in a rare moment of shared co-operative parenthood told me how daughter had mentioned it, so I made sure I was not being hoodwinked. I know two boys whose parents are divorced, dad is a nut job, mom is a basket case but keeps kind of sort of stable, keeps up appearances which at least means kids are fed, go to school etc. Dad is some sort of undiagnosed bipolar, does drugs at home, has way too much money and spoils the boys, has all night poker games etc. The kids can do pretty much anything they want and miss a LOT of school when they are with dad. Boys went to live with mum. Went to school, things were a bit more normal. Mum is a bit uptight and probably wigged out about too many things but things were ok, but.... both boys decided they wanted to stay with dad. Kids don't really 'get' consequences, if they can do anything they like and get away with it, if one of their parents allow it, they'll probably choose the 'fun' parent. So son staying up late with dad probably isn't end of the world, but for your kids to get the best you have to dispassionately communicate with the other parent to do the best for the kids, and choose the battles. Unless other parent really is a (and not just you being petty, for example) danger to the kid, as it were, choose your battle, accept what the other parent does differently within reason, and never EVER undermine the other parent in front of, or to the children. My ex did that, since long before she became the ex, and both kids can be people I don't like very much at times. Mum is suddenly realising this now, too late, and can't do anything about it. On the other hand, newgardenelf, no offense but BE A PARENT - age 14 is young for a cellphone with unrestricted use...I would argue they should be set to receive calls only and only able to call you and emergency numbers....but here's a thought - 9.30 is a reasonable bedtime but that will have to change as dd gets older, HOWEVER - turn her phone off when she goes to bed. DOn't tell her, just turn it off. Not appropriate to relay calls after bedtime.

Having recently experienced some of those symptoms with our female shepherd, I'm extra-sensitive when anyone says they have a shepherd with diarrhea that won't clear up. That's a hallmark sign of Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency (EPI). Although any breed (even mixed breeds) can get it, at least 50% of the dogs that get it are German Shepherds (or closely related breeds like Shiloh Shepherds). EPI symptoms are listed on the attached link. You might want to see if they sound familiar. If so, you'll want to ask your vet for the cTLI test, since normal blood tests can't detect EPI. The ear trouble isn't necessarily indicative of EPI, although some EPI dogs seem prone to yeast infections in their ears. Hope you find a solution soon. Here is a link that might be useful: EPI symptoms

I had a dog that did that when I first got her. She was a rescue. She didn't do it every night, probably 3 or 4 times in a span of a few weeks. I believe she was marking where I slept, "claiming" me as hers. I put a piece of heavy plastic on the spot she went, then covered that with a folded blanket. At least I didn't have to change the bedding, only that blanket. I was able to train her not to go there, but I don't know how you do that with a cat. Maybe your cat is doing the same thing, claiming her new territory, and will stop when she's satisfied it's "hers". Good luck - I know how frustrating, (and gross) it is!

Is thiis a closer to town neighborhood that sllid a bit with an exodus to the suburbs? If so, and the location and proximity to town and transit are good, it oould be a gem. Are you willing to work with it and live in it and the neighborhood in the rough stage? Can you afford to take the risk if you have to move before it turns around of if you gamble and lose. The saying is to not buy the largest and most expensive home in a neighborhood, but older neighborhoods that are coming back closer to town often have teardowns so folks can build newer and larger. if this one can be rehabbed for $100,000, it could be a gem. Do you know much about what the commercial development plans are in the area or what the trends seem to be? I would want to know a lot more before making a decision.