I break up chores into days. On Mondays, I vacum and mop all the floors, wash all the rugs and dog towels. On Tuesdays I do bathrooms, on Weds, I dust, on Thursday I wipe down all the kitchen appliances, washer and dryer, and freezer fronts, and if I feel like it, do the cabinet fronts also. On Fridays, I do all the bed linens. I used to try and do everything one day a week and it just got overwhelming. I can then go around and put misc stuff away.

This is discussed often on the Organizing the Home forum. You might check it out. A lot of people there have signed up on the Flylady website and enjoy the motivation they get from her emails. I haven't tried it myself.

I will never be a organized as Pawsitive, but I admire those who are.

I guess I'm no help. I'm managing my housework a lot better these days, but when my children were small it was quite the mess most of the time. We did a lot of crafts, wrote stories, made music, and had fun, though.

I think when you have four little ones, it is very hard to keep doing things as you said, you get one thing cleaned and another thing gets messed up. I really do understand your feelings. I would say do what you can, you can only do so much. I had no help with my children and it is hard to keep things clean like you would like to. As the children get older it will get easier. Start them out by giving them simple chores and maybe they can help you out. Best of luck to you.

Sue

Things are going good for us, next week will mark 1 year clean and sober.
Congratulations! That is quite an accomplishment in itself.

In recent years I have become quite the procrastinator, and have no excuses. I have no one to clean up after and have all the time in the world.

I'm guessing that your home likely needs a good decluttering and cleaning from one end to the other. Think baby-steps. Tackle one small chore at a time, or else break a larger chore down into smaller segments.

Just think, "One drawer at a time, or one cabinet at a time Make a list of chores and just start to whittle away at them, while trying to keep up with daily duties.

I can't remember how old your little ones are, but have you started trying to teach the older one(s) how to help you by picking up toys after themselves and the smaller ones? The sooner they can learn to help pick up after themselves, the better...less for you to have to either look at or pick up yourself.

I suggest you stop by the link below, and post there as you have here. There will likely be some folks there that can relate to your situation.

Good luck!

Sue

Here is a link that might be useful: Organizing the Home

I'm sure you have the normal things you do everyday---Try this, it helps me, before going to bed, make a list of 2 things to do the next day that you've been putting off! Start out easy & simple--It feels so good to cross those chores off the list the next day! LOL

Good luck!

Donna (^_^)

Reward your own good behaviour! If I have a chore I don't want or like to do, I give myself a reward for doing it. For example--I hate cleaning gutters. But afterwards, I pour a glass of iced tea and sit on the patio and look at the flowers. Read a chapter of a book you like, look at a magazine, browse the 'net for ideas or information. After all, you earned it!

When my 3 kids were little, the house was ALWAYS messy. BUT here is some things that helped. Get the older ones to help even if just a little. Do dishes while you talk on the phone (if you have phone calls durring the day)...and the BEST device for us...we LITERALLY kept a large plastic snow shovel in our livingroom. We'd "Shovel clean" once a week. We'd scoop all the stuff on the floor to the middle, the kids would help pick up (it was easier for them when it was all in one pile and we'd get the pile clean), and then once picked up, we'd vacuum. People would always laugh at "Shovel Cleaning", but hey it worked!

AND

MOST IMPORTANTLY.....

Congrats on one year sober. THAT is the most important accomplishment you can have for your family. Messy...they can live with. An unsobor Mom...NOT GOOD, so pat yourself on the back for doing that!

Vickey

I like to keep the overall look "almost nice enough for company". Then, I pick one area at the time, where I go the extra mile.

That works best for me.

Oh, and dusting, I do that while talking on the phone. One feels less, like one wasted time that way. :)

Congrats on your year!

Moni

I am so very proud of you Stacie, for your One Year!! When your kids are grown they'll look back and realize how hard that was for you and how much of a positive impact it has had on their lives, as well as yours and your husband's. I wish you success ad infinitum!

My friend had four kids and divvied up the constant pick-up chores like this:

The oldest picked up 40 things and put them away; the "things" were anything that was out of place and could belong to anybody.
The next youngest picked up 30.
The next picked up 20.
And the youngest picked up 10.

Of course the numbers were adjusted as they grew, and she didn't do this every day so it didn't get old. I was a little reluctant to try it since my I knew my kids would whine about it, as they did about most everything else that involved effort on their parts.:) Amazingly, they thought it was great fun and raced to see who could finish first. Every time!! I still can't believe they fell for it. My kiddos are pretty much grown now and not always at home, but I still have to remind them to clean up their stuff from time to time. I'm just basically lazy by nature and not the best housekeeper. I do my best work when everyone is out of the house, which somehow makes me much more efficient. I do know how difficult it is to try to clean around your kids, especially when they are messing up rooms you just cleaned. I think it's ultra-important to get them in the habit of cleaning up after themselves, but boy, is it ever a pain. I tell you, I blew my top many times out of frustration for a messy house. I feel your irritation!

Congratulations on being one year sober! That is the most important thing, and the best thing you can do for your kids.

Now, I only had two young children, but my place was always clean and tidy, but there is a way I did it. First and foremost, you have to get rid of, or at least pack away all the stuff your kids don't actively play with daily. Kids usually only play with the same few things, and everything else got packed away. When they wanted something that was packed away, they had to give something up. Also, before every snack, and every meal or nap, we picked up toys- same if we left the house. It was not a chore, because it was done so often every day, we never fell behind. The kids did not think of it as a negative thing, I would just casually prompt them to help me with this while we chatted or sang, and they realized it was just part of life. Personally, I have to keep things picked up and cleaned all the time because I'm lazy, and I never want to do a lot at once. The kids were helping from the time they could walk. Oh, and now that I think of it, they were trained to NOT take any toy out to play without picking up the one they had out. It's SO easy to get them in this habit, and having this part of your life organized keeps you from being too overwhelmed to do your regular housework.

But just do your best and don't beat yourself up if it takes a while to get into the swing of things.

One year clean and sober! THAT is a wonderful accomplishment! As a person who has several addicted people in the family, my hat is off to you....

Congratulations on one year clean and sober. That's something to be proud of. About the housework. Do what you can today and do some more tomorrow. It's more important to be with your kids. They won't be little forever. When they are older you can clean your house. As long as it's just messy it's ok. Now if it's filthy or dangerous that's a different story and you need to get it corrected ASAP.

Good luck.

Linda

Stacie, hope the first place you start is by looking in the mirror at your beautiful face and know that you love that person. How wonderful for you to be clean and sober for one year. That is the best gift you have given your family. Those four little ones eyes are on you. I am so proud to know that you have done this. Don't beat yourself up over you home. If you can manage just little jobs each day, your biggest job will be those little ones watching you. When mine were small, I walked out of the house, leaving dusting, dishes, just to go outside and throw footballs, and skip rope with them. That house will be there long after they leave home. I have a spotless house now, so with no little ones here 24 hours a day, there is plenty of time to clean. Have my grands over everyday, so that is my fun time now. Please know that we are so very proud of what you have accomplished.

I am happy to see you back here in a better, healthier place these days. Congrats on the work it took to make that change. I am happy for you and your family.

I have also always been motivated around the house by having company. I swear this is true, I used to schedule play groups about once a month to make myself get the house cleaned up. I also had one friend who would come over coffee and just to talk, but she doesn't like to sit still. She loved to pass the time with a cup of coffee and conversation while we cleaned out a drawer or closet or folded laundry. Sometimes her house, sometimes mine.

I tried FlyLady for a while. I liked it at first, but eveentually just couldn't stick to that much routine.

These days my kids are older which helps A LOT! One b/c the make less mess, and two b/c they can help with the clean up. They each have a routine, daily chore that is small. On a cleaning day, I print a list a chores and each one signs up for the jobs they want (or get stuck with). One might pick one job that takes a long time, while another prefers to do a few small jobs.

I am working full-time now, though. So my approach has changed a little. I just try to leave the house a little better each night than it was the night before. I figure I will get on top of it sooner or later this way. ;o)

Congratulations Stacie on the 1 year.
I did with my children the same as Susan_on. It was never a chore, it was just part of the day...like brushing teeth, bathing, etc. It started that way from the time they were very young. 4 kids must be a handful at times, their ages weren't mentioned. Maybe you could make new house rules and get the children involved with picking up also? Even putting one toy away BEFORE another is allowed to come out?
Keep up the good work Stacie!

First "Congratulations!" on the clean and sober. I have three cousins, and aunt, and a brother that have turned their lives around through AA.

The FLYlady programme pulled me out of a paralyzing depression, and the complete feeling of being overwhelmed by everything.

If it weren't for that site and programme, I couldn't handle trying to whip this "Little House of Horrors" into shape, and deal with two hunting dogs, and the MIL, and the cold, and, and, and...

The FLYlady program works for me.

Thanks for all the support. My little ones are 6,4,2, and 16 months so a lot of toys and business with them. I do have the girls pick up after meals, fold clothes and are responsible for their rooms (with a little help)

Stacie

First of all, HUGE congratulations on one year sober. Woo!

As far as the housework goes, I HEAR YA! It's been a huge struggle for me to get it under control and find that elusive "balance" between housework, homeschooling, shopping, family time, fun, and other chores/responsibilities. Up until the past 6 months or so, it seemed the housework was always coming up short (WAY short) and it was dragging me down.

What finally worked for me was realizing that I am much more motivated to keep the house done when it's COMPLETELY done to begin with, and I do well with a plan. So Claude and I made a list of what needed to be done (including catching up on the laundry, rooting out closets, drawers, etc.) and spent a week getting it done. It's super important that everything has a specific place where it belongs, and that the kids know where their things go.

Then I made a plan and a schedule for the regular upkeep....

We have a 2 free hours on Tuesday and Wednesday evenings. In that time-slot on Tuesday we do the floors (sweeping, vacuuming, mopping and Spot-Shotting). On Wednesday we do the dusting and the 3 bathrooms. Weekends are free for family time or doing stuff with friends. We designate 1 day of the last weekend of the month for a deeper clean (dusting ceiling fans, cleaning the fridge/stove, wiping down the walls/baseboards....).

I do a complete load of laundry every morning (including putting it away) after I've settled the older kids down with some schoolwork. Some days I have 2 loads. I do the bedding on Fridays. Sophie (7) watches the boys daily while I prepare meals and clean up (table, kitchen, dishes & sweep) afterward. The kids have classes/clubs most every evening, so we have to zoom out the door right after supper. We make sure to have the supper mess completely cleaned up before we go. Sophie is also in charge of feeding the cats, tidying the shoes at the front door and the maintenance of her room. We're still working on getting Benjamin (4) more involved (sigh).

We certainly have a rule that a toy has to be put away before another comes out, but with babies and toddlers in a busy house, that's practically impossible to enforce. SO, we have "Eight O'clock Rounds" every evening. It's supposed to be at 8:00, but sometimes it's later. Basically, we have to do the "rounds" before bedtime. The entire family goes around from room to room together, picking up and straightening things that are out of place. It works, and feels great waking up (most) every morning to a tidy house. Also, knowing that it'll be fixed up in the evening, I don't have to stress every time the baby dumps a bucket of blocks. :)

It might sound like the routine is very regimented, but it's what we found works. With homeschooling I just don't have a lot of time available for housework, so for me, I HAVE to have a plan. The house is pretty much always under control now, it really doesn't take much time out of the day, and I feel SO much better when a messy house isn't constantly looming.

Find what works for you. Consider a schedule.

Best of luck!

Hi Momma of four monkeys,

I add my offer of hearty congratulations on that one year of having reclaimed your real self ... and I agree - to look yourself in the mirror, give yourself a big smile and a wink - you're really great!

This is about all the good advice that this fellow-procrastinator, who lives alone (and inhabits a messy house) has to offer ... today ... maybe I'll think of one, maybe even two - tomorrow? Or by the weekend!

ole joyful