What a great influence your church has been on the pair of you. (Sarcasm very much intended.) I have to ask, if you were in an on-off relationship with your now husband, why the he[[ did you get in a position to become pregnant? Bad idea. Sorry to be harsh, but your whole approach to relationships seems to be a series of bad ideas: -Get pregnant in an unstable relationship -Marry someone you don't love merely because pregnant -Before marrying get involved with someone else -Get involved with a married man -Know you're doing wrong but not stopping Could this be any more of a train wreck? Stop. Cut off all contact with this other man, it will only end in tears for two marriages. If he's unhappy in his marriage, let _him_ deal with it, sort himself out and be free to be in another relationship honestly. Change churches if you have to to avoid being in contact with this man. Get some counselling. Sort out _your_ feelings without the confusion of your infatuation with this other man. Consider carefully and decide if you want to continue with your marriage or not. Only you can decide if security is enough (sounds ATM like it isn't) but having decided, you need to follow through one way or the other. Either fully commit to your husband or divorce, don't sit on the fence. It's not fair to anyone concerned and is a terrible example for your children.

I have been married about 20 yrs. My husband and I have 2 children, i also have 3 others from my previous marriage which they are grown now and have moved out, he has 4 children from his 2 previous marriage. About 4 yrs ago i started working at a hospital. There is this guy that also works at the hospital, and not to long ago i told him that i really liked him more than a friend, he said he already knew that. Weeks ago he expressed he had feelings for me as well. We started seeing each other at a rest area for about an hour or so. We tell each other that we love one another. We have only kissed and held each other, we talk about making love, but we haven't hit that level yet. Am i really in love and have strong feelings for this man or what can it be.He tells me that if i chose to be and make it work with my husband he would respect my choice and not bother me, he will countine to be my friend. But iam confused i don't know what to do because i don't want to hurt his feelings, he tells me he's happy and loves me. But i also love and care for my husband and i don't want my marriage to end, My husband is a great man, and i don't want to hurt him either especially our kids.I'am confused please advice me. Dulce

Laura, how in the world do I save threads like this one? I was just thinking the other day about Evans Key Lime pie and I was going to ask him how he made his..I have never had one and would love to give one a try.. Thank you so much for thinking of this..I want to save this thread but have no idea. I am afraid if no one responds with time, it will sink and get lost( Mike

Hi, Charity. If your heart is cold for your husband, I disagree that your marriage is intact. You may still be married, but it's not what marriage is supposed to be. Of course, swinging isn't supposed to be a part of marriage, either, if you believe in the traditional marriage vows (forsaking all others), but I realize that you don't. For me, and I realize not for you, living with someone for whom I have a cold heart just isn't a good, fulfilling life. You and he are getting your sexual kicks otherwise, but if you're getting your emotional needs met outside of the marriage, why don't you just divorce? What in the world is the benefit to anyone of staying married? NOT trying to demean or start an argument. It's just that your way of living and values are apparently so opposite of mine that I'm intrigued. I get my sexual kicks and my emotional and companion needs met by my husband and realize that I am very, very fortunate.