Ugggh... chemo really sucks

17 years ago

I started on august 25th, had 2 cycles which were absolutely horrible, then had a 4 week break before radiation which was truly the worst hell of my life, then had another 4 week break before starting chemo again. That cycle i was given a 25% reduction, and it went really well, but now I am back on the 100% dose this week, and it has been tough- terrible neuropathy, hands and feet tingle and hurt, can't drink or touch anything cold.. i feel queasy and like i have been hit by a train. Emotionally when i am on the chemo breaks i am fine and positive and feel normal, but man when i am on this crap i feel depressed and wonder what i did to deserve to have this at 42 years old. If you are healthy, please count your blessings and take care of yourself. I have no family history of cancer let alone colon cancer and am a dietitian and always have eaten the right things.. i would have told you a year ago that i would never ever get cancer.. i just knew it would never happen to me. Boy was i wrong. My last treatment is february 23rd, and the end of that cycle is officially march 8th, My birthday is march 9th. What an awesome bday present this year!!

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Comments (25)

kacram
17 years ago
(((((((polarprincess))))))) visualize the end! it WILL be worth it. I will come to an end. I took shaklee pro biotics, and i think i really helped. I also listened to tapes... and are you taking the anit nausea medications?

i'm sorry you are feeling so badly
polarprincess
Original Author
17 years ago
Thanks.. i am trying to visualize the end.. Actually mayo recommended 4-6 months and this is my 4th month,, i am so tempted to just say this is it! They gave me some compazine and i have been avoiding taking it because i have heard it makes you crash bad and i don't want to crash any worse than now. I am taking probiotics as well. I am hoping within a couple of days it will get better but on my second cycle i was sick the whole 14 days so am a little worried...
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Toni S
17 years ago
I'm at a loss for word here. I'll take your words of wisdom and count my blessings,, most definitely.
My wish for you is that you'll be doing the same later this year.

My FIL took chemo pills and some other high powered stuff. It made him feel terribly itchy. Crazy itchy, like laying on an ant hill. He had his tough days too. I admired his stamina though. I don't know what his tricks were to keep motivated but he was encouraging to anyone who knew his situation.... Moving on, I'm guessing about two years now, he is off of everything and doing well. I'm planning on you having an awsome birthday every year.
ruthieg__tx
17 years ago
I Understand exactly where you are coming from. I had last week off because my white cell count was too low and this week I was so happy to get started again because this is my last month but...I have to tell you it's been a rough couple of days...I didn't sleep at all last night and I have finally started to come off of the steroid high. I'll be so happy to finish....

Just hang in there ...the nausea meds haven't bothered me at all.
intherain
17 years ago
I am so sorry that you and anyone else has to go through this. My MIL survived stage 4 breast cancer. She's a big believer in taking vitamins and herbs. She especially raves about tumeric.

(((hugs))) to anyone going through chemo!

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Granlan_TX
17 years ago
Those side effects sure can take over, I know, and I hate it for you, 'Princess'. I used to watch my chemo buddies have similar reactions to their treatment (like you) and I felt so lucky I didn't have that many bad days after 6 months of chemo. Luckily, the month of radiation didn't bother me that much either.

I still hope you'll celebrate your birthday, cause even tho you may not be ready to party, this new year will be a good one for you..I just know it. :)

Granlan Hugs
maryanntx
17 years ago
The chemo really tears you up, doesn't it. The radiation didn't bother me and I had it daily for 6 weeks. Like Granlan, I do feel lucky that I didn't have nausea or hair loss during my 2 rounds of chemo. I have surgery coming up soon and then will probably have chemo again. I'm not looking forward to it, but it's just something that I have to do to get well.

I hope it gets easier for you polarprincess.
taigen_gw
17 years ago
Polarprincess...I really hope things improve for you and I thank you for your words of caution. You and others are an insight and inspiration for people to watch their health. While I have never had cancer and can not relate to what you are going through I do have a neuromuscular disease and know that things are not always easy.
Prayers and good thoughts going your way.
jannie
17 years ago
I feel so bad for you, but try to think of your future, you will soon be cancer free. Think positive. It will be over soon.
donna_oh
17 years ago
God Bless you!

hugs, Donna (^_^)
fran1523
17 years ago
I feel so badly for you. I watched my DH endure 15 months of that toxic crap. I hope it's doing its job and that you will be cancer free in the future.
nodakgal
17 years ago
(((Polor Princess)))
Holding you close in thought. I wish it wasn't so hard on you.
rosemaryt
17 years ago
Ditto to the comments from Nodakgal. It sounds like you're doing the right thing with the visualizations. And it sounds like the end of this harsh treatment is in sight for you??

Rose
imabest
17 years ago
Hi my friend I am so sorry you and all the other peeps have to go thru these treatments but hope they will fix you all up and be brand new ladies.I am keeping you all in my prayers and wiating to hear some good news from y ou all
hugs imabest
yayagal
17 years ago
Of course you think "Why did this happen to me" It's not right and never will be!!! Just know that there will come a day when you'll say "Thank God for the treatments, they saved my life" I urge you to take the anti nausea meds and also ask your Dr. for sleep medication. The loss of sleep can only make you feel lower. You're on a solitary trip and it's lonely for sure. Keep expressing your feelings, it helps to let off steam. Join an online help group. Believe it or not you can be uplifted by laughs and fun within a group that share your experiences. Hang in there, sending love and prayers your way.
irishdancersgram
17 years ago
I really feel so bad when hearing about anyone going through this terrible time..I've never had chemo, but one of my sons had 127 radiation treatments when he was just starting his freshman year at college...He was diagnosed with Hodgkins, took the 1st semester off to have surgeries. Went back to school, carrying a full load in engineering, (maintaining a 4.00)holding down a part time job, all while taking the treatments. He had a year from hell but he was determined...That was way back in 1978 and he's been cancer free since....Didn't mean to hijack the post, but I needed to brag about my hero.....
Good luck, Poloarprincess, will keep you in our prayers....
Linda Wayman
17 years ago
I am so sorry that you as well as others here are having to go through this. You all are in my thoughts and in my prayers too.

Linda
barb_from_pa
17 years ago
I am so sorry you are having such a hard time. I was really blesssed to have an easy time getting through my chemo and radiation. I hope March 9th comes quickly for you. Wish I could give you a warm, gentle hug!
polarprincess
Original Author
17 years ago
Thanks everyone for all your well wishes and thoughts. I appreciate them so much. Today seems to be a little bit better, so hopefully I am coming out of it some. I hate that there are so many of us going through this... i don't understand why there has to be these stupid diseases. How do some people make it to 100 years old and never get cancer? I just wish i knew... i definitely will be doing everything in my power to be sure it never comes back, although there are no guarantees, and that is the hardest part. Blessings to all of you...
carol_in_california
17 years ago
I will continue to keep you in my healing thoughts and prayers.
trinitytx
17 years ago
Just hide from the world as best you can when you feel bad after chemo. It will be there when you feel stronger.
Just know that you are kicking the cancer in the butt!!!
You go girl.

(((Polarprincess)))

Trin
kathi_mdgd
17 years ago
I hear ya Polarprincess.I had my 4th round 2 days before xmas,and have been sick,weak,shakey for the last 5 days.Thought i was going to have to go back in and get re-hydrated again,but i finally started feeling better yesterday,thank God!! I go for #5 on the 15th of this month,and the way it looks now i don't have to have radiation,and that's a good thing.

I did lose almost every hair on my body and head,and now with no hair,my hats keep slipping and riding up.Think i'll have to invest in some good double sided tape~~~~~~~~~~do ya think duct tape makes one??? LOL,LOL

Sure hope the rest of your treatments go well for you with little side affects,and that goes for all of you going thru this,self included.

My favorite saying is "This Too Shall Pass".
Kathi
glenda_al
17 years ago
Special thoughts for you!
liz
17 years ago
(((Polarprincess)))...I pray this nightmare is over for you soon...Keep us posted on your recovery...You couldn't ask for a better cheering section then the KT...
clubm
17 years ago
Sending healing good thoughts your way.

Ugggh... chemo really sucks

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Ugggh... chemo really sucks

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