Yup..it's called a double grave, two for just slightly more$ than a single. I have one. DH is buried, there's room for me above him, and when I had the headstone made, my name and DOB was put there.

As i posted about a week ago, I found out that someone on the net had photographed his grave, and I was startled to see a picture of the headstone on-line, complete with my name engraved on it.

I've never heard of the double deep, but I can see where that would make sense, given the shrinkage of our world (and a bit romantic, too, don't you think?). However, a lot of people, who have been married a very long time, can only afford (or want to afford) one headstone, and it's much less expensive to do most of the printing on them at the same time. My DM did the same thing when my Father passed. Her name and birth date are on the headstone too. Quite normal, I would say.

My mom is buried in a small plot where my dad will go too, on top of her box. She was cremated. The plaque has her name and his only because she's in a veteran's cemetary, and says "The wife of". Anyway, when he dies they'll change the plaque and put his date of birth and death on there like hers.

My parents are buried this way. My mom passed first and my dad's name was on the headstone for three years. Kind of creeped me out at first.

My husband is buried in a double grave - I will be placed on top. I didn't get a price break, however.

This reminds me of a trip we took to Aruba and toured a cemetery there. They have crypts above the ground and they (ahem - close your eyes if you're easily creeped out) entomb all members of the same family in the same crypt. In other words, they open the door and shove the next one in. Weird.

Aruba is very rocky and very small. I guess they didn't have much choice.

Ive never heard of double deep, but it makes sense. Here couples are buried side by side.

Gee, I forgot the creepy-est part about the Aruba graves: no caskets! They just put the body in the crypt, and it mingles with remains already present. So they could get many years' worth of family members in one fairly small crypt. I remember being morbidly fascinated by this and asked the guide twice just to make sure I understood what he was saying.

That may be more than you ever wanted to know . . .

Our burial lot in Ohio is like that. I call it "bunkbed style" and tease hubby that I have to go first so I can have the bottom bunk. In some cemetaries it is a little bit cheaper and allows room for more people to be buried in that cemetary. Flat grave markers make it easier for lawn care and less chance of vandalism as well.

My father wanted to be cremated and my mother wanted to be buried. They agreed that whichever of them died first would be "done" the way they wanted, and the other would do the same thing. In other words, if Daddy died first they'd both be cremated, and if Mama died first they'd both be buried.

My mother died on July 30, 1970. My father then purchased two burial plots, side by side, so that when he eventually died, he could be buried next to her. A single headstone was ordered for my mother's grave.

My father died on September 2, 1970. Yes, a month and three days later. My sister and I went to the cemetery to make the arrangements for my father; and it was then discovered that the second plot (intended for Daddy) wouldn't be useable because of the way the roots from a nearby tree had grown.

So, the cemetery offered to redig my mother's grave, deeper, putting her casket on the bottom. Normally there would have been a charge for this, but they didn't charge us. Because the headstone had not yet arrived, they canceled that order and gave us a double headstone at no extra charge.

And I've always liked that they are buried in the same grave, rather than in separate graves.

It's not that uncommon nor his having the undeceased name, birthdate and blank spot for date of death. I have two cemetaries close by and often walk or bike thru them looking at the stones. My dad was cremated as will be my mom but my elder sister insists on a casket so they bought one plot, one stone which allows for one casket and up to 4 cremains (love that word LOL) to be placed around it. Mom doesn't want her name on the stone yet though, she thinks that is a bit creepy.
One day when I was walking thru the cemetery I cam across the graves of some neighborfolk from my youth. She, the mother was an absolute nasty b*tch as I recall even though I was about 10 y.o at the time, always drunk, yelling and screaming and cursing at her kids, other neighbors etc. It got me to thinking you just never know looking at these gravestones whether the people under there were nice or nasty in life. I guess you always give them the benefit of the doubt as having been nice people when they were alive for some odd reason LOL

My husband and I bought a double headstone and had it engraved with our names and birthdates, and had it put in place several years before he died. I had to have them engrave the date of his death. We chose a double headstone not because of cost, but because it is a natural thing in our area to have a double stone for husband and wife. A togetherness issue, you might say.

Some people in this area are having their children's names chiseled on the back of the headstone. Since I have spent so much time tracking down ancestors, I think this is a wonderful idea. We had no children, so I have laughingly said I want to put our cats' names on the back.

There is a very peaceful feeling in knowing that my nephew and nieces won't have to make those decisions when
I die.

I love cemeteries. Love to see that the people who were my family's neighbors are buried near them.

DH and I have a "double decker". LOL I had never heard of it either until we bought them about 7 years ago.I think the cost was a little less than two side by side but the reason for it was that the cemetery is running out of space.We have since been contemplating cremation and having the kids scatter our ashes somewhere,or let them decide which one wants the urn on their mantel!LOL That seems even more sensible,and cheaper! Makes no difference to me as I won't know anyway.

I have heard of double graves, but thought that was just in Veteran's Cemetarys. I don't know of any in my area that are double.

My DH and I bought plots long years ago. When he died, I had a double headstone with both names; my birth date is there and the death date will be added. I don't feel at all creepy about it. Also a couple years ago I went to the Funeral home, made all the final arrangements for myself and paid for it. Didn't want to leave this earth owing anybody anything!

Sue

Hi, They do bury people 'bunk bed' style in California.

Here's an article (no way related to me) of a problem that's not uncommon in here. Cemetaries remove remains, hoping that the relatives won't come looking, resell the plots and bury someone else in them. Every couple of years here in So Cal, there's another one in the news and more lawsuits flying. Maybe it's common everywhere. These Forest Lawn cemetaries are huge and there are a few of them around. Haven't followed the news on this one, but 300 acres in Glendale, CA must be worth about a bazillion dollars. Linda

Here is a link that might be useful: California Cemetary hijinks

Last one to die is "on top" ... for a long time to come?

Lots of headstones around here have date of birth engraved ... date of death left blank.

If you happen to be a psychic ... maybe you could tell them?

Cheaper to chisel all at one time!

Have a lovely week, everyone.

ole joyful

...you just never know looking at these gravestones whether the people under there were nice or nasty in life. I guess you always give them the benefit of the doubt as having been nice people when they were alive for some odd reason.

Interesting point. And true!

Our family plot was purchased back around 1900. Even that far back, the double plots were the norm. All our family there are buried 2 deep. And yes, when my mom got my dad's headstone, 25 years ago, she had her name put on it. So now that she died this past year, we just had to have the death date inscribed on the stone.

What you describe are very common practices in this area of the country, at least. Most plots are double deep--which makes a lot of sense from a conservation point of view.

Here's another thing to consider. If you creamate your loved ones, you can put many people in one plot--saving even more space.

geez i've never heard of such a thing and we've had a family funeral home for 75 yrs. i know they do not do that in catholic cemetaries in northwest IN & IL (chicago). we own 2 large family sections in 2 cemetaries, one in each state and they do not have such plots. cremated remains that get buried must have a regular sized plot, one person per plot and no pets (vault or urn) are allowed (i've already doubled checked that lol). it's the minimum head stone size that determines the minimum plot size. these two cemetaries we own in are VERY VERY strict about every rule and they have soooo many. i am used to just telling my dad to "talk" to them when i want something different and he will not even "talk" to these places about allowing me to plant winter bulbs in one of our plots... ~ liz

Maybe it's an East Coast thing? That's where I am, and as I said, it's pretty much the norm around here. We just don't have enough available real estate to give everyone their own plot, I guess.

And it was a funeral home owner, as it happens, who told us that many cremated remains can be interred in one plot.

Got to be a regional thing, I imagine.

Liz...you stated the difference in responses in this thread - individual cemetetaries have different rules, different areas of the country have different norms.

As Azzalea said, here in the northeast, double plots have been the norm for well over 200 years, although an individual cemetery may allow only single burials. This area has been relatively densly populated for centuries, while the south, midwest and west stayed largly rural until the past 100 years. So, it's not strange to me to see the difference in norms for other (I am in the northeast) areas.

As to cremains, i've found that there is no norm, the number of internments per plot varies from cemetary to cemetary, even in the same town. We have one cemetary that allows up to 3 per plot...another specifies only 1.

I don't know about the double deep plots around here, but I do know of at least one cemetary that does allow at least 2 creamains to be buried in one plot, as that was the case with friends of ours.

Most head stones around here are double, with the living spouse's name and dob inscribed. Now if you really want to see something creepy, visit the cememtary with your living parents to see the grave stone they purchased for themselves already put in place! I knew they had done it, I have been encouraging that they make all arrangements ahead of time. They had the option of having the stone placed or just choosing what they wanted and paying for it. Mom wanted to see it in place. Now I am used to seeing it, but the first time I saw it was also the first time they had seen it! They had been stopping periodically to see if it had been placed. I just happened to be with them the day they stopped and it was there.

Monica, you posted a while back about wondering if you DH's head was where the headstone had been placed. I spoke with DH's cousin in IA, who does the book work for the two cemetaries in their area. In most cases the headstones face east and at the head. It also depends on where in the cemetary the grave is located, as in near a drive, as sometimes it needs to be oriented differently. But she said to check with the cemetary office and they will be able to tell you how he was placed in relation to the headstone. It does vary from area to area sometimes.

Tami

My first wife and I were married 16 years when she died of ovarian cancer. I bought a double plot and headstone to go with it. There is just a blank spot waiting to be filled in for the date of my death. With 5 kids all less than 15 years old I couldn't imagine remarrying at the time. A year later I remarried. DW knew of the first plot and stone but had no desire to go visit. A couple years later a close friend died. I was a pallbearer. We carried his casket right past Marys' grave and headstone. DW had a meltdown.
We've decided that the 2 of us will both be cremated. She grew up in Galveston and some of her ashes will be spread in the Gulf. Some of mine will be buried with my first wife. The remaing ashes for both of us will be combined and spread in the mountains where I love to hike and camp.
Hopefully everyone will be happy.

Ron

Ron, what a nice way to handle it! I think that would be a wonderful way to honor both of your wives.

Tami

We visit both former spouses' graves together, epecially on Christmas to leave greens.
Graves are in different cemeterys, and yes, each one of use has an "open" spot in the grave and names pre-etched, with no intention of "wasting" those spaces.

Here in SWPa, I don't think we have the double ups, at least not at our cemetery. We've had a family plot, DH's parents and room for he and I...Often thought they really should do the bunk bed style....
We haven't gotten our stones yet, but I saw one shaped like a shamrock and have been telling my DH I'm going to get him something, but I don't want him to use if for a long time...

I'd not heard of the "stacked" burials. Interesting. When my FIL passed away, MIL had the double stone. She later remarried. Step-FIL had also been md before. They were each buried next to first spouses. My sis was stillborn, & because an infant casket is so small, she's buried on the same plot as my g'mother. My mom had a double stone placed when my dad passed away; it will just need her DOD. It's interesting how different cemeteries/areas of the country do things.